The Buzz: (Foot) long story

Compiled by Marc Tandan

In what can only be described as a tale of heroes and villains, one current and two former Florida football players were arrested after causing a disturbance at a campus sandwich shop. One of the accused is now a professional runner and tried to flee on foot but was apprehended (maybe he was wearing Crocs). According to the Gainesville police report, an employee asked the trio to pay for a bag of snacks, and they responded by throwing items at the worker. Talk about not responding well when the chips are down.

Tuning in

The Patriots-Ravens telecast last Monday pulled in an audience of 17.5 million, the largest ever for a cable program, topping the 17.2 million who watched "High School Musical 2" in August. Perhaps the Ravens should view the Disney drama - they might learn something about harmony.

Ought to see

Steve Williamson might be the ultimate NHL fan. He journeyed to witness all 30 teams play in person in a span of 30 days, possibly logging more minutes boarding than a tenacious center. When asked by ESPN's David Amber about the biggest letdown of the voyage, he said, "The atmospheres in some of the Canadian rinks, especially Vancouver and Calgary, were surprisingly bad. The fans seemed indifferent during the game." In the process of the puck passage, Williams might have stumbled onto the next wacky fad diet. Despite sampling beer and hot dogs at all the arenas, Williamson claimed he lost five pounds (an unexpected bonus to relish). He has no plans to duplicate the feat, making it a one-timer..

Hamming it up

Not a shining moment for Barclays Premier League backers: Police in England are searching for the fan who beamed a green laser on Chelsea striker Didier Drogba during a Dec. 1 match against West Ham. Authorities are hoping to shed some light on the suspect.

He'd play at Jurassic Park

Allen Iverson dropped 51 on Wednesday and his team still lost, which isn't as surprising as it sounds when you remember all those years and half-century games he had with the sorry Sixers. Still, maybe Iverson needs to play for Toronto - he's as swift as a raptor, and when at full speed makes everyone on the floor look like they're trapped in a tar pit.

Open Mike night

In case you wanted to hear ESPN radio hosts Mike and Mike zinged by people besides each other and most of their guests, a roast will be held in their honor on Jan. 11 in Atlantic City (The House of Blues might turn into the house of boos). The duo undoubtedly was lured by prospect of deep-tissue massages (Greenberg) and unlimited shrimp cocktail (Golic). Even with comedians Dennis Leary (last wrote his own material in the '80s) and Frank Caliendo (his John Madden is growing more irksome than the actual John Madden) providing put-downs, this is bound to be the worst roast since The Buzz tried to cook Thanksgiving dinner, which, come to think of it, was also a lame duck.

Next up: The Blazers

The Warrior can certainly light it up, ranking second in the league in points per game, but last week, action was delayed between Golden State and Seattle when flames and smoke were spotted shooting from the scoreboard hanging over the court at KeyArena. Experts determined it was a misguided attempt to light a fire under the struggling SuperSonics.

Kidd 'n not play

The Nets' Jason Kidd said he missed a game last week because of a migraine, not a boycott of the team, as some had speculated. If Kidd wants to experience the ultimate headache, he only needs to travel about 15 miles north.