The Buzz: Courting

WITH VALENTINE'S DAY a mere month away, The Buzz is reminded of Dwyane Wade's college ode to his first flame, basketball. A sample stanza:

You were the one that understood me

but I knew deep down inside you were gonna come back to me.

So I practiced on ways that I could love you more

and for you to never leave me again.

The Buzz knew Wade was poetry in motion; we didn't realize he could create it standing still.

Paper Tigers

Forget hitting the broadside of the barn; the barn was nowhere in sight for Savannah State in a 60-point loss at Kansas State on Monday, during which the Tigers shot 1 of 23 in the second half (4.3 percent) to set an NCAA record for lowest shooting percentage in a half.

Siberia seemed warm by comparison.

For the game, they finished a woeful 15.5 percent from the field. Even Jessica Simpson's acting has greater range.

Unflattering

The Buzz knows it's not fashionable to criticize Joe Gibbs, but the recently retired Redskins coach is like leggings: Both were great in the '80s and given ample opportunity to succeed in their second go-round, but neither was a good fit for a full-fledged comeback.

In fact, they looked ridiculous in retrospect.

What a relief

Three times third time's the charm - that's ninth for those scoring at home - as relief pitcher "Goose" Gossage was finally elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame.

Guess the writers wanted Goose to stew for a while. There will be no side dish to accompany "Goose," though; voters passed on Jim Rice for the 14th occasion, surely leaving him steamed.

Happy trails

Car service organization AAA will steer clear of NASCAR at the end of the 2008 season, concluding its sponsorship deal. After talks broke down, NASCAR mapped out the situation and decided to go a different route.

'C' notes

Country crooner Garth Brooks has announced his involvement in NASCAR Day, an event scheduled for May 16 that raises money for charity.

For once, Brooks hopes his efforts are off the charts.

Knot appropriate

Golf Channel anchor Kelly Tilghman let it all hang out when she said on-air that rising players on the PGA Tour "should lynch Tiger Woods in a back alley" if they want to win tournaments. Talk about sticking your neck out.

She has since been roped into apologizing.

Censor sensor

The Buzz assures you it wasn't a test of the Emergency Alert System, but the tape-recorded conversation Roger Clemens played of himself and former trainer Brian McNamee contained more bleeps than a Chris Rock special on basic cable.