Every crew needs one

*Before I go in let me preface this with the fact that I am a huge Pharrell Williams stan. If I were just a few years younger, I might have a poster in my bedroom or rock P buttons on my collar and would be very likely to pretend I knew how to ride a skateboard.*

So hometown homeboy Pharrell and Kanye West are going through with plans to create a supergroup Child Rebel Soldiers. YES! (We old folks know the acronym this name creates as something else entirely, and isn't it the truth?) Pharrell and Kanye are like the music-fashion equivalent of Steve Jobs and Bill Gates collaborating on a computer. It's a wrap. Everyone else will have to sit down. Untouchable. Pharrell and Kanye are icons of super cool, and because they don't pretend to be thugs, they might even help undo a lot of the psychological damage young black men have suffered in recent years as a result of being exposed to horrible role models.

But then, they invite Lupe Fiasco to the group, which is like Mac and PC inviting...Toshiba. No!

Something about this dude is fishy to me. Frank, I have absolutely no idea what he's talking about in his music and even if I did, I wouldn't care. It doesn't resonate; it doesn't sound authentic. He sounds like a nerd trying to be cool, rather than a nerd who embraces his nerdiness and therefore becomes cool. To boot, he's making a reputation for making himself look like a complete idiot\.

Last year he flubbed the words to songs by a A Tribe Called Quest -- legends from whom Lupe arguably inherits a lot of his style -- at an awards show. Fine; people mess up words all the time. But he then he attacks US, saying how dare we question his authenticity when he grew up on Hammer and gangsta rap. (I had my Hammer stage too, I won't judge, but there is a thing called REHEARSAL to prevent this sort of stuff from happening.) THEN he has the nerve to say he's going to sue Vibe magazine for twisting his words. Dude, stop drop and roll. Away.

Then yesterday, Mr. "I ride a skateboard too" Fiasco tells Entertainment Weekly:

"When the gangbangers would try to pull it, I was like, “Yo, I will **** you up. And if you wanna call your cousin, call him. I’ll call me! I’ll call me right now.” We were shooting TEC-9s when we were babies, so the whole gangsta image, that ain’t nothing. When I was growing up, there was a crack house next door to us and they were trying to expand. My father was like, Are you serious? He took his gun, walked next door, and said, “You’re done,” while I aimed my gun out of the window. I was 13 or 14 and to see that, a lot of the facade and the upkeep [of trying] to impress people was eliminated."

*Crickets*

Lupe has become, in just a few hours, the punch line and punching bag. Again. Guys, are you sure you want this dude in your group? Pharrell and Kanye are great musicians and rappers; they both know how to work the press too. But the pesky little brother? Guys, please think this through. Admittedly, there's no one else on their caliber, so maybe you have and he's just the only choice. Maybe you just need one minor character to balance everything out. Every Fugees has a Pras, every Destiny's Child has a Michelle. I suppose it's universal music law. Well, if that's the case guys, I have a Rolodex full of unaccomplished, quasi-cool half-associates I'd be glad to put you in touch with. At least they are untarnished.

"We were shooting TEC-9s when we were babies." LOL!! Gotta love it.

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