The Stationary Haddock

"A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle." Widely attributed to feminist Gloria Steinem in the 1970's, this quote was met by the male response: "Yes, but who needs a stationary haddock?" According to the Stationary Haddock, the answer to that question is: "four animals, for starters!"

The Stationary Haddock, formerly The Shopping Diet Chick, is raising two dogs and two birds in Norfolk. She has been compared to a peanut butter and jelly sandwich: sweet and nutty.

Category: Culture

A Tree Grows in Bad Newz

Jan 08

6:12 PM

Oh my. It started last summer. I remember calling my mom from an out-of-town trip. I didn't recognize the voice on the other end of the phone. It was my nephew, then 11, but he sounded funny. “Is your voice changing?” I asked. “YeAheuah,” he croaked. At that time, he was about an inch shorter than me.

Two weeks ago, my nephew (now 12) was about 2 inches taller than me, and I noticed a bit of hair on his upper lip. “Is that hair on your upper lip?” I asked. “Yeah…,” he replied. My brother chimed in, “He’s got hair in his pits, too!” Oh my.

Tonight, he stood next to me and he is a whole 3 inches taller than I am. And he’s got three red spots on his face. “Are those zits?” I asked. “Yeah…, so?” he asked. Oh my.

This is such a cliché, but darnit, time flies! I can’t believe my nephew is becoming >gasp< a MAN. It seems like yesterday he pee-peed on me when I changed his diaper. It just can’t be happening! Does that mean I’ll be grandmother-like in a short while? AAAAUuuuuuuugh!

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Julie and Dead Head

Submitted by Maria on Tue, 01/22/2008 at 4:23 pm.

Julie, my nephew is supposed to be 6'4" by the age of 14! Not only do I feel old, but short, too! But hey, Dead Head gave us both some good advice. Focus on how you feel... And might I add, thank God you're not 14 again!

Worse!

Submitted by Dead Head on Tue, 01/22/2008 at 2:36 pm.

No matter how fast you begin to perceive life’s “acceleration,” it will never be able to keep up with expiration date the youth culture sees stamped on your forehead. If you’re over 30 you’re old. Anything beyond the thirties is irrelevant because, “Dude, you’ll be dead pretty soon, right?” My new philosophy goes something like this: life’s pace is kind of like riding in a car – you seem to be going really fast when you look out the window, but you can almost forget you’re in motion if focusing on something inside the vehicle. Just focus on how you feel, not what you see – it’s a much better ride.

nieces...

Submitted by JulieS on Mon, 01/21/2008 at 4:12 pm.

I have a niece who's 17, she'll be 18 in November. Lucky for me, she's like 5'3" and I think that might be where she stays. I was 5'4" in high school, and didn't get any taller. Now is her turn to grow outwards! She's such a twig! Now's her turn to grow outwards some! LOL

Nephews on the other hand, i have 4. One is pre-teen, not tall yet. Two are teenagers, and one is just out of teenage years. Those last three all tower me. All over 6ft tall. I think the tallest is around 6'4" or 6'5". Giving them a hug practically causes me to break my neck, or so it seems.

The big shocker though is hearing them talking about partying, going out to clubs and all that...that's just weird to me. Course I didn't really start going to clubs til I was 21, but some are 18 and over and they're hittin 'em! THAT is what makes me feel old.

They grow up so fast!

Submitted by jo53 on Fri, 01/18/2008 at 8:36 pm.

In my family we have 4 kids that all turned 19 (within a 7 week period)last year. I looked at all of them and thought, "No way I am old enough for them to be 19! I'm pretty sure I was still in diapers myself when they were born!" Of course, I didn't say this out loud because smarta*s runs in the family and I just KNEW that one or more of them would say..."Well you may have been in diapers, Auntie, but you were at least 35!" LOL