Kerry DoughertyWHAT’LL IT BE today?
Should we dissect Michigan’s Republican primary or Tuesday’s Democratic debate, or do we look at the latest legislative attention-getter by Del. Lionell Spruill Sr. – a ban on truck-hitch testicles in Virginia?
OK. Let’s talk testicles.
Here we are, a little more than a week into the 2008 General Assembly session, and already the Old Dominion seems destined to become the butt of late-night comics and international punsters.
The buzz in Richmond and around the globe is all about HB 1452: “No person shall display upon or equip any motor vehicle with any object or device that depicts, represents or resembles human genitalia, regardless of size or scale.”
The penalty for driving around with dangling plastic genitals could be $250.
By Wednesday afternoon, Google News showed about 300 separate news outlets – from Canada to Germany to Australia – posting stories about the bill. The headline writers were having truckloads of fun : “Virginia Bill Aims to Emasculate Trucks,” “Virginia Legislator Testy over 'Truck Nutz’” and “Testicles Face Snip.”
This bill won’t pass. It’s an infringement on free speech.
But let’s pause from all the punning to salute Spruill’s intent. The 61-year-old Democrat from Chesapeake – who grew up in a time when no one cursed in the movies and the Ricardos slept in twin beds – says he is offended by this latest indicator that common decency isn’t common in America anymore.
Spruill said he filed the bill after a constituent complained about encountering a set of truck-toted testicles while driving with his child in the car. It made the delegate wonder what he’d tell his 5-year-old granddaughter if she spied a set of plastic genitals dangling from a bumper.
Here’s what I’d tell her: “Honey, the person driving that truck is obviously an inconsiderate, coarse, trashy slob. What do you say we ignore him?”
Others want to pass a law. Go figure.
Spruill told me he knows people are laughing and mocking him, but it’s time the Old Dominion drew a moral line about acceptable behavior.
“If we have these on trucks now, what’s next?” he said.
I don’t want to think about that. Still, the well-meaning delegate is tilting at trailer hitches.
From nasty T-shirts on the Boardwalk to potty-mouthed pubescents at the mall, we’re surrounded by Americans fouling the environment with their brand of free speech. With society infected with vulgarity, it seems pointless to direct so much moral outrage at unappetizing auto accoutrements.
Yet Spruill has his supporters. Susan Rowland, his chief of staff, said their Richmond office was awash Wednesday with e-mails and phone calls from around the country. The feedback was staggeringly positive, she said. Folks were applauding the lawmaker for standing up for standards.
Ironically, Rob Hearn, owner of Pungo Tire and Off Road and a purveyor of the bumper adornments, also is grateful.
Since Spruill’s bill hit the news, Hearn said sales have soared. He’s had to reorder.
“One gentleman came in first thing this morning and bought three sets,” Hearn boasted.
These weren’t the ordinary plastic privates, but the shiny chrome models that sell for $35.
The trailer-hitch testicle vendor had a message for the delegate: “Tell him I said thank you very much.”
Sheesh.
Kerry Dougherty, (757) 446-2306, kerry.dougherty@cox.net
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Spruill is a NUT job.... literally!
Folks.... Stand Up For Your Rights!
Regardless of what you feel about our products, each of you should stand up for your rights. The biggest complaint we have heard from the legislators who want to ban these products (in Virginia and in Maryland) are that mom's and dad's don't want to have to explain to the kids "what those things are hanging from the back of that truck". The problem isn't what the kids are seeing, the real problem is this new era of parents who think they have to shelter their kids from everything, primarily because they are too damned lazy to be REAL PARENTS and explain to their children exactly what those things are. If you dont like them, then explain to your children that mom and dad dont necessarily agree with what that person is doing but this is AMERICA and they have their right to do it.
And to the parents who dont want to be real parents, then keep watching your Dr. Phil and Oprah shows and continue to blame everyone else for your lack of parenting skills!
just remember the old song
just remember the old song BIG BALLS by ACDC its all in good fun. lighten up before you bust.
Opossum Residue?
I was wondering exactly what the heck those things were supposed to be.
sillynuts
I got a call from a friend in my home state laughing at news Virginia was going to pass a law banning "truck nuts". She really wondered if that is the most important thing they need to use time and money.
Sad when my adopted state has nothing alse to worry about.
Ok Norfolk has Riddick, now Chesapeake has the same
Come on People, how much nonsense are you going to take? Just fire this guy, and get someone that can think beyond 7th grade. Do you really want to live in a area that has a buffoon like Spruil as a delegate? So the district he represents has no other problems other than truck nuts! Jeeze!
Fish offensive?
Oh, Ed (Baskins)...Anything has the potential to be misused when the world is involved. So, while it is true some have corrupted The Word throughout history for their own ends, resulting in possibly millions of deaths, He who is symbolized by the "little fish" cannot be corrupted, and has the potential to save BILLIONS. Accepting this gift is not "blindly following" something, but is a conscious choice that results in a dynamic, awesome relationship if you want it. Please don't miss out by "blindly rejecting" something.
As for the topic of the article: If someone wants to put "a set" on their truck, they should have the free will to do that too. It's difficult to legislate standards of decency...God can judge whether it's right or wrong.
So basically...
Since it appears good taste and moral values are pretty much absent from this comunistwealth pit-hole of a state, I guess that means I am prefectly within my rights to display pretty much whatever I want on the back of my vehicle? C'mon people start thinking of people other than yourself for a change.
If the truck testicle owning trailer trash version of freedom of speech were true there would be a lot worse being displayed publicly. Yeah, they are tacky and disgracefull and should fall under some indecent exposure law already in existance.
But no, the idiots of the world require stupid bills like the truck castration law, just so those with a moral compass do not have to explain to an 11 year old daughter what the shiny things are hanging from a trailer hitch 3 feet off the ground, right in the center of her field of vision. But of course, she's not your kid, so what do you care?
What they need to do...
Is make the roads safer by getting rid of those giant tires and lift kits on those stupid redneck trucks so the bumpers are in a position to actually do the job they were created for other than showing some juvenile plastic garbage. Any regular car that is in a collision with one of these idiotic three to four foot high redneck specials is going to slide right under the truck and probably kill the occupants of the car. Add that to the fact that the standard brakes of a truck are not made to stop something with those sized tires pulling on them, and you are asking for more trouble. Barring that, the drivers of these things should find themselves with insurance rates so high, they won't be a viable option for road travel.
The Law of Unintended Consequences is going to cause
more of these things to be purchased and displayed just because of the hoopla raised over banning them.
Someone has to start somewhere.... Thanks Del Spruill!
This truck garbage is just another example of how low some of the people in this world have become. Why do so many people have to do such childish and sick things to get noticed? I'm not that old but I still remember the day when things like this were kept in private, not tied all over some pickup truck. There are not many moral things left in this world so let's not allow these people with such low self-esteem to make it any worse. If you like these things get a pair and take them inside and hang them all over your house. What you do in your privacy we could care less about. If it's a gay thing which it probally is with most who purchase them then get some counseling. This is part of the "red-neck" culture, I have to admit. You will be seeing them alot tied on the back of some 200.00 pick-up truck parked next to some shack with the couch on the front porch and a TV sitting in front of it with a clothes hanger for an antenna. Grow up kids. Do something in life other than be a clown for a change. Just please keep your trash inside of your house instead of littering the streets. It surprises me alot that some of the people who have posted here have these things? I wonder
Stoopidity! (heh catch this one U silly Software Monitor)
/Reality On
Has anyone considered, the THOUSANDS of wasted $$$ this is going to cost Virginians?
/Reality Off
Thanks to this blog
I am getting a pair of truknutz!
Too funny
Wow, LOL bold assumptions over some hanging testicles. Putting people down and calling names over something so silly. Just because you feel something is offensive does not mean everyone else does. Kindergarten behavior will only make you look silly. That's being more juvenile than the testicles hanging LOL.
truck nuts
the comment by mr. baskins comparing little fish and testicals hanging from vehicles is on the verge of sick. no wonder our younger generation have such slanted moral values. i do think that the "truck nuts" are in extremely bad taste.
What's next?
I think we also need to prohibit 1955 Cadillacs. The front bumper looks like a well endowed woman's breasts!
Well,
I guess this guy would never let his granddaughter watch someone walking their Great Dane down the street or take her to a petting zoo. I think these things are rather juvenile, but they are totally harmless except to the people who are offended by a natural attribute held by about half the people and animals on this earth. I think that if this bill passes then hopefully we can ban something that is truly offensive to many of us and that is those little fish on the backs of cars. It is a symbol of blindly following something that has been responsible for millions of deaths over the centuries and is part of the reason why the world is so screwed up.
kate, kate, kate.....sigh....what a rant...
The people that live in the real world realize that there are more important things to worry about than what others are doing to their privately owned vehicles. Yes I enjoy acting like a juvenile and knowing that my "bullballs" offend you makes me feel even better. I also notice you enjoy throwing out the word "redneck" like its supposed to be a bad thing...Let me tell you something...White men with guns (aka rednecks) founded this country and are what made it great. I also have to wonder if you are so quick to throw out a supposedly derogatory term over such a childish issue, what other terms you use for people that dont conform to your view? I guess your version of sharing the road means everyone has to abide by your holier than thou values. I dont need your pity, because Im not insecure by any stretch. And no Im not trying to pick up a woman since Im already married to a wonderful one who actually has a sense of humor and knows there are more important things to worry about. Nope not gay either (not that theres anything wrong with that)...And Id be real careful about screwing around with other peoples property...bad things could happen.
No Credibility
Hard to lend credibility to Kerry, who finds a picture of a nude man in a parking lot and immediately shows it to her teenage daughter.
Waste of legislators' time
This proposed legislation is a waste of time for everyone involved. There are so few people who actually have these items on their cars that this legislation would make no difference. If they make these illegal, then what about the Calvin peeing logos or the ubiquitous silver naked woman logo that adorns many truckers' cabs??? Aren't THOSE more offensive??? It's a free speech issue that will ultimately fail because no lawmaker wants to be associated with "castrating" trucks, which would symbolize their own castration! Can't we focus on REAL issues like affordable housing and education?!?!?
People People People
Please get over it... My truck has 'truck nuts' hangin cuz IT has BALLS. All you left lane riding,not passing anyone,clueless,busybody,cell phone addicts need to focus on your own driving and not my nuts...Oh, and by the way I'm a GIRL,but alas,I am in touch with my masculine side, so please dont touch my nuts without asking, that might get nasty...toodles
Yet another person who professes to be offended
It’s a statement about the truck, not the driver...
There are far too many assumptions being made about the character (among other things) of the individuals who choose to display these anatomical accessories on their vehicle. Now they are being categorized as idiot rednecks, how mature.
You have no right not to be offended... and being offended does not necessitate that something be illegal. You certainly have no right to deface the personal property of another... I hope if you try, you are caught red handed, and are dealt with appropriately.
Neutered?
Touch my trucks balls and you'll find your butt kicked.
Blogger intends to nueter truck?
Seems, that juvenile males are not the only ones hung up on the truck testicles. Forget the fact that we need more police officers, traffic signs, stop lights, better roads, etc, lets hire a Delegate that is concerned with rednecks and the plastic balls hanging below their bumper. God, people please get serious! You complain about higher taxes and worthless politicians and you sit back at let this clown receive a paycheck while wasting thousands of dollars of Legislative time. Can't you for once, just stop and think how much time and resources a bill has to go through!! Please, instead of submitting your psychological profiles of, insecure men, juvenile boys, professional women etc, look into the mirror and ask what your problem is, that you want to "neuter" a truck. Sounds like you may have some demons and issues going through your head. How about contacting this Delegate Spruill and ask him to start acting like the professional the voters thought they hired, and to please stop with the nonsense.
wow, kate!
Kate must be REALLY offended, as she seems willing to break the law when she see's a set of the accessories. Wow. I hope none of these vehicle owners catches you in the act - it could get ugly. (BTW, if you want a pair that bad, head out to Pungo.)
As for the reasons they are displayed, Kate addresses every possible reason except the actual one: They represent the vehicle, as in 'This truck has balls!'.
I don't have them, I think they are childish, but I think we all need to be a bit childish sometimes. Of all the attempts to legislate morality, this one takes the cake.
Sorry if you're offended. On second thought, no I'm not.
jmo
"Hitcher Hikers"
Though I do not live in Virginia at this time.. I do keep up with the polictial news.. and this Bill that is being proposed by Del Sprull is
just.. well NUTS!
Of all the things that need to be done in my home state..this is not
one of them..
Why should the tax payers have to suppose a bill like this..
What will it accomplish? A fine.. if you get caught..
Why not pass a bill against bumper stickers, tee shirts
and low hanging pants.. now that one really offends me!
I think there are more important issue that need and should
be address in the Virginia Congress.. so why is Del Sprull
wasting his time and engery on this one??
That is the realy question
Truck Adornments
Come on, Kerry, are you really not the tiniest bit offended by dangling nutz? I find them juvenile and offensive. If there were special streets, highways and parking garages for idiot rednecks that would be one thing. However, since we all have to share these roads, it's simply not acceptable. I feel sorry for the insecure males who are so pathetic they show their low self esteem to the world by hanging a scrotum on their truck. I don't imagine you're trying to pick up some professional woman with a high end position since she might find your dangling balls misogynistic.So who are the balls for? Is it a gay thing? Is it a supreme expression of self love? Well carry on if you must but watch your back because I intend to neuter all that I see...not the real ones, only the fake!