As far as Will Ferrell films go, 'Semi-Pro' is minor league

Say hello again to the magnificent, cheesy, infamous and long-gone Virginia Squires.

It was the local professional basketball team of the 1970s, the one with the worst winning percentage in American Basketball Association history.

So why bring up that rarest of things, a local professional sports team?

The new movie "Semi-Pro," which opens today, is the culprit. Shameless buffoon Will Ferrell stars as a pop singer who owns, coaches and plays on a small-market team as the ABA nears extinction.

Indeed, as shown in the movie, the ABA did come to an end in 1976, allowing four of its teams to merge into the NBA. The Virginia Squires was not in that final four.

In the movie, the struggling team at the center of things is the Flint Tropics, a fictitious outfit centered in Flint, Mich., where Ferrell's character, Jackie Moon, is as famous as Henry Ford.

Ferrell, who had family ties in Roanoke Rapids, N.C., and visited there in the summers of his youth, actually aspired to be a sportscaster and got a degree in sports information from Southern Cal before eventually making his way toward $20 million paychecks for sports-comedy movies "Blades of Glory" (taking the swish out of figure skating in 2007), "Talladega Nights" (NASCAR racing in 2006) and "Kicking & Screaming" (kids' soccer, in 2005).

He told the Orlando Sentinel in a recent interview that he had the Virginia Squires in mind as he sought to satirize "this rinky-dink league."

His satire, however, is laid on with a degree of love. As Moon, he's an Afro-wearing hustler who hit it rich with a single hit record, "Love Me Sexy," which made millions. He buys the Flint Tropics and installs himself as a player and coach.

The Flint Tropics must save themselves by trying to finish among the top four teams and qualify to join the NBA.

There's something intrinsically likable about a team that is just trying to be fourth. Just as there was something warm and likable about the doomed Virginia Squires.

Indeed, the movie might have been just as colorful, and even funnier, if it had borrowed more from the Squires.

The Virginia Squires moved to Norfolk after they were forced out of Washington by an NBA team.

They played "home" games at Old Dominion University's field house (5,200 seats), Hampton Coliseum (9,770), Roanoke Civic Center (9,828), Norfolk Scope (10,253) and Richmond Coliseum (12,500). Roanoke was quickly dropped because of poor attendance.

Rick Barry was featured on the cover of Sports Illustrated magazine wearing a Squires uniform in 1970, but created a local stir when he spoke negatively about Virginia and said he didn't want his children to grow up saying, "Hi' y'all, Dad."

He soon was traded to the New York Nets for cash.

In 1971, the Squires drafted Julius Erving from the University of Massachusetts, and he became an instant sensation for basketball prowess and showmanship. But he was soon traded for cash.

In 1974, player Barry Parkhill sued when his paychecks bounced. The team nearly shut down in February 1976 but was saved by the sale of advertising banners and a $250,000 loan from a local bank. In its last season, it had six coaches.

The Squires disbanded on May 20, 1976.

Luckily for moviegoers, "Semi-Pro" is more successful as a film than the Squires were as a basketball team.

Before every home game, Jackie Moon sings a medley of his hits. To promote lagging attendance for the team, he offers cornpone night and gerbil night, as well as a $10,000 giveaway for anyone who can make the impossible throw from one end of the court into the basket. But woe to the fan who tries to collect on any of these gimmicks.

Jackie Moon wrestles with Dewie the Killer Bear during halftime. (Dewie's trainer is a shapely young woman who has worked with him for only one month).

Jackie makes his players wear eyeliner so they'll look better on TV, and when he discovers that it runs, he orders them to not sweat.

Woody Harrelson plays an NBA retread who has a championship ring but a damaged psyche. The film comes to a screeching halt when Maura Tierney is introduced as a pointless love interest.

Andrew Benjamin, the rapper from Outkast, plays the team's star player, Coffee Black, but, regretfully, he has no laughs. Attempts at sentimental togetherness fall flat.

But as long as "Semi-Pro" keeps it raunchy, which is most of the time, it's funny.

As Will Ferrell comedies go, it is minor league, not nearly as clever as "Blades of Glory" or "Talladega Nights," but cheap laughs are better than no laughs and, somehow, they go with the league.

In the background, way in the background, this is a nostalgic nod toward a transient era in American history - when the sports world made a hard turn toward becoming a raucous public carnival.

The flashy publicity stunts pictured in the film are vintage 1976, and not farfetched. Somewhere off-camera wait the Virginia Squires. Those who cheered them all the way out of town will know all about this era of sports history. They may even laugh.