Jacey EckhartA COUPLE OF WEEKS ago I wrote a column about the apparent contempt shown in a recent batch of commercials. I pointed out that the appearance of contempt was a bad sign for a marriage and that we had to work against letting it creep into our real relationships.
I must have hit a nerve, because not only did I hear from readers in Hampton Roads, but the column made its way onto social networking sites and blogs.
Many readers agreed that mocking your partner is terrible for the relationship. "I have two young daughters and I'm constantly reminding them of the Golden Rule," Scott Hewitt wrote. "While sneering contempt might provide a woman a fleeting ego boost, it eventually corrodes a relationship, and isn't how she would like to be treated in return. I think most men are pretty darn patient, but eventually withdraw from this sort of abuse, and the woman ends up wondering what happened."
Many more responses came from people who were appalled by the stereotype of the idiot husband and father.
Kathy Thomas from Omaha wrote, "It's not just a TV ad, it's a media image that studies show impact deeply what children and adults come to view as acceptable targets for abuse. We protect other groups, so should we protect husbands and fathers."
Male readers were especially offended by the way they are projected in commercials. "I spend a lot of time with my teenage sons discussing equality of sexes and nondiscriminating behavior," wrote Ken Hart of Baltimore. "But it is enormously challenging at times when advertisers think that a man (and usually white) is the last unprotected class that they can make the butt of their off-color humor to attract an audience."
Other readers echoed that adults are not the only ones absorbing this attitude. "My husband is not an idiot. He is not stupid," wrote Elizabeth Bowman of Richmond. "I do not want my daughter growing up to think it is OK to treat anyone like that, and certainly not her father (then boyfriend, then husband, etc.)."
Some readers sent addresses and Web sites to complain directly to the companies. Others said they just wouldn't buy products from the companies whose ad offended - then wondered if that would make enough of a difference.
Some commercials do tease men in a way that is still funny. There is a note of fondness for them, a gentle ribbing, a message that men think and behave in a way that is silly or unfathomable or annoying. But underneath it all should be the sure and certain knowledge that we women truly like them. And that we know they like us in return.
Jacey Eckhart, jacey87@mac.com
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It really amazes me that anyone from Portsmouth can talk bad
about men from any other city, much less, another country. I lived in Virginia Beach and Chesapeake before moving to Germany 7 years ago. Men here WORK for a living, I mean work that would drop any P-Town puny in a second. If people just knew what they were talking about before opening their mouths..... What a world it could be.....
Just another form of emasculation...
Like most "developed" countries, especially in Europe, we have decided that testosterone and masculinity must be dealt with and destroyed. I am a man, and there has been a effort, which has gotten more overt lately, to rid the world of real "men". I am not talking about the stereotypical beer drinking, wife beating, NASCAR loving, man. I am talking about the well-mannered, hard-working, family man. That man is often portrayed as weak and exists only to bring home a paycheck and be ridiculed by his over-the-top brats, for kids, and his condescending, strong-willed wife. Most of you who read this will think I am over-reacting, but this is being pushed in the entertainment world, not necessarily in middle-America. It is easy to laugh at me, a white, professional, thirty-something, male, because I have it so good, and all others are so oppressed. Even little boys have been targeted with the new "epidemic" ADHD. Society can't force a man to take drugs to suppress his "boyish" ways, but little boys are easy targets! Just give 'em drugs, it'll make him less "boy" and more zombie! I just hope we don't end up with men that resemble those found in France, Italy, or Germany, but may
What amazes me
Is the amount of women I know personally and also see and witness, who talk to and treat the men in their lives as if they were some sort of awful step child. How rude, obnoxious and degrading we as women have become. When did this happen? How did this happen? If we women have become so unhappy in our situations and with the men in our lives that we resort to such nastiness in the way we talk them, then why are we even there? If a woman thinks the man she's with is an idiot, what does that say about her? A look in the mirror might be a good idea. So many women today are an embarrassment to the gender. And as a 48 year old woman, I don't get it anymore.
But it doesn't stop[ just there...
Even prime time sitcoms seem to enjoy making the man the idiot husband and the woman the one that keeps life going in spite of him. I'm not talking about the way over the top ones like Married with Children, where they both are idiots, but the ones like Everyone Loves Raymond, even Fresh Prince of BelAir makes the man the fool when one of the dults messes up (even though they do show him as a very strong and caring father most of the time, but it's always him over reacting or being foolish, she never really makes many mistakes).
This is the crap kids see now days, not more Leave it to Beaver or Father Knows Best, where the dude is the provider and sage and the woman is the glue that holds it all together, it's a new world and the male is just the comic relief.
Funny
Funny, I did not see the commercial as anything other than a company trying to lure business away from a "box". I think it's something that goes on everyday. A spouse does something opposite of how they would have and does not go as planned, then of course they hear about it. I think the commercial is a part of married life. Not bashing one or the other, but simple truth and funny to boot. Had I said that to my husband and I 'am sure I would have if in the situation, he would have looked at me with a smirk and went haha, after talking to the "box" of course. Then we both would have laughed about it. I guess it's all in how people perceive things and life as to how they would think of this commercial.