The Buzz: Road to victory

TALK ABOUT defending the lane. Highway I-76, which runs through Philadelphia, has been temporarily renamed "I-76ers" to honor the basketball team for making the playoffs. The city's doing everything in its power to make sure the team doesn't get routed or take an early exit.

Knew Albom

"You're a sportswriter in Detroit. Is that what acquainted you with grief?" comedian Stephen Colbert asked author Mitch Albom, who was a guest on "The Colbert Report" last week. "For One More Day," Albom's latest book, does focus on a man struggling with depression, though the character isn't a Lions fan.

Heavy-handed

A Chicago fan who received a rough high-five from Benny the Bull, right, has slapped the mascot with a lawsuit. Dr. Don Kalant alleges he suffered a hyper-extended arm and a torn bicep. Sounds like a bunch of bull. As a result of the mishap, the doctor's handwriting is now legible.

Just plane wrong

Retired Brazilian soccer star Romario admitted recently to having sex on a national team flight early in his career. Suddenly, Romario's teammates understood why he was always saying "Put me in coach."

Jerry's kid

The Cowboys have acquired Adam "Pacman" Jones, who causes so many headaches that a few bottles of Advil should've been included in the trade. Not coincidentally, baby-sitters' fees in the Dallas area rose the next day.

Pen pal

Jonathan Lee Riches, a federal inmate prone to filing outrageous lawsuits against celebrities, has set his sights on the riches of Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban. Riches is seeking $30 million from Cuban and Dirk Nowitzki because, among other complaints, "defendants bounce basketballs outside my cell all night to tease me." Like the Mavs, Riches could use a few more guards.

Testing

During an evaluation with one NFL team prior to the draft, Tennessee linebacker Jerod Mayo claims he was asked when the last time he cheated on his girlfriend was. Mayo responded that he had never cheated. If Mayo thinks that's rude, Florida State players were questioned about the last time they cheated on an exam.

Called for traveling

Larry Brown resigned as vice president of the 76ers, signaling that he must be on the verge of landing a coaching position somewhere. The Buzz isn't saying Brown, a venerable vagabond, changes jobs constantly, but we've seen grasshoppers with ADD jump around less.

Complete the sweep

Even though he hasn't been playing, Nationals outfielder Elijah Dukes was facing tigers and cubs regularly. Last week, Dukes performed community service at a Florida zoo to shorten his probation. Thanks to his time spent tidying cages, when Dukes returns from the disabled list, he'll be batting cleanup.

Taking flak

Michael Leighton, goalie for the AHL's Albany River Rats, made 98 saves in a quintuple-overtime loss Thursday. Only a bulletproof vest could've stopped more shots.

Not Russian in

Enrique Iglesias confesses girlfriend Anna Kournikova has rejected repeated marriage proposals. Seems she's still searching for the perfect match.

Online poll

Go Long: Which high first-round NFL draft pick will make the better pro: Jake Long or Chris Long? Vote and see the results at PilotOnline.com