Shad follies

In Virginia, certain traditions seem to endure, without rhyme, reason or sometimes even good taste. The 60th annual Shad Planking in Wakefield attracted the usual crowds of political junkies this past week for an afternoon of fish, beer, pine pollen, garish political signs, Confederate flags and a giant purple blow-up donk-e-phant. In keeping with the spirit of the event, the candidates appeared to be under orders to give over-the-top impressions of Virginia's most over-the-top politicians.

Frenetic former governor and current U.S. Senate candidate Mark Warner papered the countryside with thousands of political signs. For those who somehow missed that display of organizational skills and deep pockets, his staff passed out prepared remarks of his speech in which the Democrat bragged about his reputation for being - all right already! - over-prepared.

Another Senate wannabe, Jim Gilmore, cast a pall over what was intended to be a light-hearted picnic when he used his time at the podium to launch a surface-to-air missile attack against Warner. No one was expecting a stand-up comedy routine from the mirthless former governor, but was it necessary to channel the Terminator seven months out from Election Day?

Gilmore still has to wrest the Republican nomination away from Del. Bob Marshall, best known for his relentless campaigns against abortion and gay people. His campaign style mixes tips from Pope Benedict XVI and Jerry Seinfeld. Marshall distracted his audience with some of the day's best jokes and a recitation of the Lord's Prayer, while his staffers were in the parking lot papering windshields with fliers that featured a photograph of a fetus and the disclaimer "Paid for by the blood of patriotic embryos under 8 weeks."

The summer and fall will bring many plot twists and turns in Virginia's latest political drama, but the Shad Planking portends that one prediction is certain to come true: It's going to be a long, weird year.