Survivors create books to honor organ donors

After Dale Dick died unexpectedly three years ago of a massive heart attack at age 56, he helped improve the lives of 119 people.

Now, his widow, Lisa, is helping others, too.

While Dale's eyes, ligaments and tendons found new life after he donated them, Lisa has become part of LifeNet Health, the nonprofit organ procurement agency, headquartered in Virginia Beach, which distributed his tissues.

Lisa, a Red Mill Farms resident, said about 100 of the recipients were able to have the spinal fusions, dental surgeries and hip and knee replacements they needed. Two received his eyes, and a handful of others benefited from his tendons and ligaments.

"Part of him lives on, and it is a comfort to us," said Lisa, who has two sons, Jason, 33, and Matthew, 28.

Knowing that someone may be walking or playing tennis, or seeing a rainbow or their grandchild for the first time, is especially heartwarming.

"He loved to hug people," Lisa said, recalling her husband of 32 years. "He was just kind and generous, so it's not surprising that he was able to help as many people as he was, through organ donation."

That connection is one of the reasons Lisa, 59, teaches other donor families how to make tribute albums and memory boxes in honor of their loved ones.

She slowly helps families make order out of the jumble of photos they bring to her workshops. Over the course of six months, she helps them organize their pictures, creating scrapbook pages with journaling, that chronicle their loved one's life.

But more than that, she helps them make sense of their grief.

"A birth certificate shows someone was born," Lisa said. "A death certificate shows someone died. Pictures and their story show that someone lived.

"Everyone leaves a mark on this earth," she added. "They touch so many lives."

Creative outlets like scrapbooking, Lisa said, can prove cathartic to those struggling with a loss.

Dena Reynolds, a LifeNet spokesperson, said grief workshops also give families a chance to meet others going through the same thing.

"They are able to bond with other people," she said. "It gives the donor families someone to connect with."

Lisa said LifeNet's outreach meant a lot to her. "They embrace the donor families," she said. "They have a network of resources, and they realize every person on this grief journey is on an individual timetable."

Shortly after Lisa arranged to have Dale's tissues donated, she received a letter from LifeNet Health telling her how many people benefited from his donation.

How to tell her husband's story is on her mind these days. It is important to her to preserve photos of Dale.

"These pictures are the only ones I'm going to have," she said. "I won't get new ones."

Three months ago, Lisa welcomed her first grandchild, Emily. Already she is thinking about what she will tell Emily about her grandfather, who retired from the Navy as a master chief and worked with a military contractor.

She wants her to know about his fondness for M&Ms - he always had a candy jar full of them on his desk at work - and his sympathetic nature.

Shortly after his death, Lisa learned from Dale's colleagues that her husband took the time to learn everyone's name at work.

Even the cleaning woman who straightened up the office in the evening was on a first-name basis with Dale. He often inquired about her son, with whom she was having some difficulty. When she learned of Dale's death, she cried.

"That's how she's going to remember Grandpa," she said. "Emily is going to know Grandpa because of the pictures and the stories that are in these albums."

Equally important to Lisa is the need to teach other donor families how to tell their loved ones' stories.

"She doesn't want the history of anyone to be lost and the tribute albums are a way of telling that story," Reynolds said.

Through her tribute album and memory box workshops, Lisa has helped families realize there is more to the person they are mourning than just their final days. One thing she has noticed about donor families is that all the donors truly seemed to have enjoyed every day of their lives.

It's one of the reasons she teaches family members to end their tribute albums with a celebration page.

"It's not just about loss," she said. "It's about life as well."

Rita Frankenberry, 222-5102 or rita.frankenberry@pilotonline.com