Diary of a Madwoman

This madwoman, a 40-something mom of two children, is here to tell you a thing or two about life when you're an overweight, perimenopausal (she has pills for when she laughs too hard, cream for when hair grows where it shouldn’t and patches to prevent hot flashes and aggravation.) She’s claustrophobic, agoraphobic, insomniatic, diabetic, stubborn anxious, hypothyroid, chronic sinusitis, allergenic, Fibromyalgia, asthmatic, migraine queen with two kids (both teens, one with special needs), four INDOOR dogs, a Cockatoo, two ferrets, a husband and PMDD. Why tell you all of this? TO make you feel better of course!

Category: Parenting

Being Stalked

May 08

2:11 PM

Have you ever felt like you were being watched? You know the car that follows you through the back way yet, stays just far enough behind for you to not see their face. The person that seems to be walking every where that you do. Those “sorry wrong number” calls or hangups. The person that looks away when you look at them. The person that pulls over in the empty parking lot when you do.

I’ve had these things happening on and off for about a month now (or so I think.) That’s the thing about an “over active imagination,” you’re not sure if it’s you or not. Then again it might we from watching too many of those killer stalker type movies that are always on TV. To be honest I can only think of one person that dislikes me...no, the word is hate...hates me that much. I just don’t see this person going through all of that trouble. After all the person is loud when not in my presence, so I really don’t think they’d do anything. Then again, people can surprise you when it comes to disagreements. jealousy and rage.

I write this here for two reasons. One, to scare the person away (if there really is a person and not my over reactive imagination.) Two, if I should fall prey to an accident you’ll know enough to tell the police to look into my death.

- Being Stalked????

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Ten top ways

Submitted by Dead Head on Thu, 05/15/2008 at 11:16 am.

to tell if Martha Stewart is stalking your dog
10. There’s potpourri hanging from your pooch’s collar.
9. The dog’s nails have been trimmed with pinking shears.
8. The dog toys are all stored in McCoy crocks.
7. The pooper scooper has been decorated with raffia bows.
6. That telltale lemon slice in the new silver water bowl.
5. You find liver and whole wheat dog treats stamped out with copper cookie cutters and decorated with royal icing using a #2 rosette tip.
4. Dog hair has been collected and put into wire baskets for nesting material for the birds.
3. A seasonally appropriate grapevine wreath adorns the front of the doghouse.
2. Your dog goes outside naked and comes in wearing an apricot colored virgin wool hand-knitted sweater with matching boots.
AND THE NUMBER ONE WAY YOU KNOW THAT MARTHA STEWART IS STALKING YOUR DOG IS…
1. The dog droppings in your backyard have been sculpted into swans