''Kung Fu Panda'' doesn't have much new to offer

Now that penguins have waddled past their heyday, it was entirely predictable that Hollywood's hungry animators would move on to another adorable creature. They won't be content until they work their way through the entire zoo.

"Kung Fu Panda," though, is more kung fu than panda, as it strives to be a real martial arts movie rather than a cute spoof.

We have the wise master teach his underdog challenger the ways of karma and kicking, not necessarily in that order. Initially, it comes across more like "Karate Kid" than an animal adaptation. Shifu (voice of Dustin Hoffman) must train his inexperienced student Po the panda to become disciplined and tough on his way to becoming the Dragon Warrior, the only one who can save the Valley of the Peace from the feared Tai Lung, a snow leopard who had expected to get the title and went over to the dark side when he was overlooked by the old turtle that rules.

Master Shifu has a Jedi complex and says things like "You must not wash pits in the Pool of Tears" as he endlessly makes pronouncements about following your destiny while they stand beneath the Secret Peach Tree of Wisdom. Haven't we been here before? Among others, did anyone see Chris Farley in "Beverly Hills Ninja"?

Po, with the incongruous voice of perennial slacker Jack Black, is no teddy bear. The paunchy panda carries a big kick, but his secret weapon is the dreaded pinkie hold, which can floor any opponent.

DreamWorks, by deciding not to use popular songs (a la earlier Disney) or clever references to pop culture (its own "Shrek"), sends a signal that it has either (1) run out of imagination or (2) wants to escape the "Shrek" formula. The result is a technically well-computerized looker that is more action film than comedy, for better or worse.

Panda's dream sequences are done in 2-D and are an excuse for arty showmanship, although the style is quite at odds with the rest of the film.

Po is a dreamer who knows about all things kung fu while he's stuck in his father's noodle shop. "Noodles are in our blood," his father mutters as he urges him to forget dreams of fighting glory. (One of the movie's best sight gags is when the birdlike "father" reveals he's not really the panda's father. Duh? Did we not suspect that these were, at best, the strangest of genetics?)

Oogway, the turtle ruler, passes over the fighting Furious Five to name the roly-poly panda as the new Dragon Warrior. The ancient Oogway can explain anything by pointing out that "it's destiny" or "there are no mistakes, only what is meant to be." Try it in your office the next time you're late. It might work.

The five include, notably, the voice of Angelina Jolie as - what else? - a tigress. Like Lara Croft, she's seductive but no-nonsense tough. The closest thing to an emotional moment in the film is when the villain threatens to destroy her. Lucy Liu is a viper. Seth Rogen is a mantis (usually praying to be somewhere else) and Jackie Chan is a monkey. He has few lines, but after all, Chan is about as close to an animated character as a mere human can be. The quintet is completed by David Cross as the voice of a crane.

Ian McShane is the growling voice of the ultra-evil villain and is perhaps the best at the game since Jeremy Irons spoke for Scar in "The Lion King."

The most imaginative action sequence involves a chopstick battle over dumplings. Very clever, but the rest of the movie could have used more gag writers and less action formula.

There are lots of threats of tough stuff such as the trainer warning that "the hardest part is cleaning up" and adding that "the only souvenir you'll get from here is bloody knuckles and broken bones." In spite of the threat, it is not so overly violent as to be a worry to worry-wart parents.

A panda in panties overcoming his weight problem and emerging as a hero encourages the young audiences to "be yourself" - a worthy, if often repeated, message. Animated movies, though, should have a life of their own, not just be transformed martial arts flicks.

Pulling out all the fur in search of a successor to the penguin bonanza, can "Kick-Butt Koala Bear" be far behind?

Mal Vincent, (757) 446-2347, mal.vincent@pilotonline.com