Takin the Tide

As you probably gave heard, Norfolk is getting a light rail. Since the news came out, I have been thinking about how the Tide could and will affect nightlife, and life in general.

Wouldn't it be great if it stayed open late on Thursday, Friday and Saturday -- prime party days -- til, like, an hour after bars closed? And then outside of every station there were cabs lined up, waiting to cart people home safely? Just a thought.

But then, there are quality of life concerns. After riding subways in Manhattan, D.C., and the Marta in Atlanta for a combined, I dunno, 10 years, I have a love/hate relationship with the train. There's convenience, knowing you're impacting the environment less, but then there's the bad side...

1. Crazies

When iPods first came out, it seemed everyone in New York had those white strings dangling from their ears, and I suspected it wasn't so much to enjoy music but to keep lunatics from talking to you. Riding the train to work or play can be so relaxing and stress free -- until some raving maniac like 'Soulja Girl' here begins some crackhead performance art and suddenly your whole morning is shot. My tactic, like most people, has always been to stare directly ahead and pretend that you see and hear nothing, (which is equally crazy, no?) or switch cars, and I've never had to do that here. Here's hoping I don't start.

2. Peddlers

Oh yes he did. Look, I am as liberal and social reformist as the next guy but after seeing the 10,000th (admittedly adorable) public school kid slangin' M&Ms for his "school football team" (mmm hmm boy, right) my soul could weep no more. For all my NY peeps, what about the kids that breakdance all through the train, doing the worm on the floor and backflips with the boombox? Help me Rhonda...

3. Food

Much on a light salad, have some almonds and Brie, a few French fries, a crisp apple. Fine. But there are few things more visually depressing than looking down to see petrified chicken bones, or offensive than see someone eat a burger and just toss the wrapper/box on the floor.

4. Personal Space

Why are you sitting next to me when there are so many other empty seats? Why is your knee so close to mine? Do you have to breathe so loud? You are so close to me that watching you chew gum so slowly and methodically makes me want to punch you in the face. I don't want to hear your radio. Miss me with the eye contact, please. And for the love of God, no small talk to fill perceived awkward silences just because we're sitting next to each other, please and thank you.

But there is joy in the train too. It's a great bargain. You meet people you'd never otherwise meet, some of whom you end up dating after 'coincidentally' always catching the train at the same time as them every day. Using the train -- or a well-coordinated combination of car, bike, taxi, bus and train -- makes you feel like a city dweller, a cosmopolitan person who always has 'a way' figured out. And that's another perk: the smug satisfaction of being able to tell tourists how to get where they're going, fast.

Bring it on...  

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