Brett Favre, how can we miss you if you won't go away?

Songwriter Clifton Davis nailed it in the early '70s:

Every time I think I've had enough and start heading for the door

There's a very strange vibration that pierces me right to the core.

Which brings us, of course, to the perpetually pierced Brett Favre, the latest athlete who "Never Can Say Goodbye."

Yes, fans, here we are, taking up print, airtime and cyberspace with yet another wrung-out production by the strangely vibrating Mr. Favre, the quarterback who will not leave.

Fool us once, shame on you, Brett. Fool us a gazillion times, well, shame on us, because we really should not be fooled by any sports "comebacks," period.

Pro athletes, almost to a man or woman, have wrenching difficulty with heading for the door. The tears. The sobs. The backward glances. The visions of vibrant youth winging away.

"To look in the mirror and say you can't do it anymore is so hard," former boxer George Foreman, a sports comeback genius, recently told the Associated Press.

Favre has really been away in word only; he played very well last season at 38 for the Green Bay Packers before announcing he could no longer commit, so he had to quit.

With the right team, however, a Favre "comeback" could be successful. It surely wouldn't have to follow the depressing path of the creaky-kneed Washington Wizard Michael Jordan, or any number of sad heavyweight cases - Joe Louis, Muhammad Ali, Riddick Bowe and Evander Holyfield leap to mind.

That said, there are few post-retirement comebacks that don't end badly. Ironically, the younger Jordan authored one of them - in 1995, when he abandoned his bizarre adventure in minor league baseball and returned to the NBA after being gone almost two years. Jordan was only 32.

Foreman is another. He left boxing for a decade but orchestrated a brilliant comeback in which he reclaimed the heavyweight title at age 45 and remade himself into a wealthy pitchman. Good for him.

But most good comeback stories center around illness or other things. Military service: Ted Williams, Bob Feller, Roger Staubach. Suspension: early Ali. Prison: early Mike Tyson. Retooled skills: former St. Louis pitcher Rick Ankiel, now a power-hitting outfielder. Forced retirement: failed minor league pitcher Jim Morris, the high school coach who made the Tampa Bay Rays. Retirement and pregnancy: swimmer Dara Torres.

But for every Mario Lemieux or Lance Armstrong who returns from cancer, there are scads of comebacks that range from ill-advised to unwatchable. Some of the worst:

Jim Palmer: In 1991, the year after he entered the Hall of Fame, the 45-year-old hurler tried to return to the Baltimore Orioles. Two innings of a spring training game were enough to talk Palmer down from the ledge.

Mark Spitz: Mr. Seven Gold Medals from 1972 tried to make the '92 Olympic swimming team. He clocked respectable times, too -for a 41-year-old. They just weren't nearly good enough to make even the Olympic trials.

Mike Ditka, Jimmy Johnson, Earl Weaver: All returned to coach or manage teams after their glory years were over. All should have left well enough alone.

Ricky Williams: Oh, wow, man. When the smoke clears, the running back might still be in the midst of another comeback, but nobody's really sure.

Better, in most cases, to quit too soon rather than too late. Johnny Unitas, Joe Namath, Willie Mays, even Babe Ruth failed that challenge. Favre admitted this week that he erred by retiring too early. But that's a joke compared with those who set the standard for leaving 'em wanting more:

Jim Brown: Greatest running back ever despite quitting at 29? His legend hasn't stopped growing.

Barry Sanders: Greatest running back ever despite quitting at 30? His legend hasn't stopped growing.

Sandy Koufax: Greatest pitcher ever? Had 27 wins, 317 strikeouts and 1.73 ERA in '66 and then walked - at 30.

Rocky Marciano: Retired at 32 as the only unbeaten heavyweight champ (49-0). Still is.

Bjorn Borg: Abruptly slouched away from a brilliant tennis career at 26, although he loses points for attempting a failed comeback in his mid-30s.

Justine Henin: Won the French and U.S. Opens in 2007, but quit in May at age 25 as the world's top-ranked women's tennis player. Had enough. Headed for the door.

Walked through it.

Tom Robinson, (757) 446-2518, tom.robinson@pilotonline.com