Friday Buzz: Pack it in

Compiled by Marc Tandan

All told, it's been a rough week for Packers. First, Billy is sent packing by CBS after 27 years (leaving Dick Vitale as the lone ACC lobbyist). Meanwhile, Green Bay fans are cheesed that the team refused to roll out the green and gold carpet for Brett Favre. The Buzz has one word for the QB's interview with Ms. Van Susteren: re-Greta-ble.

Chop sooey

The AHL's newest team is the Iowa Chops, whose logo is an angry pig. Guess the other squads hogged the good nicknames. Regardless, the club is here to sty.

Resort to violence

Ex-Bengal Odell Thurman is being sought on assault charges after punching a patron at an Ohio water park (he must've been riding the log fume). Even though the incident occurred at an amusement park, the police can't let it slide.

Take the reins

Putting the "age" in "dressage," Japanese equestrian Hiroshi Hoketsu, at 67 years old, will be the senior-most athlete ever from his country to compete in the Olympics. Despite that fact, he doesn't feel saddled with expectations.

 Cut to the Chase

MLS player Chase Hilgenbrinck retired Monday to enter the seminary. Those who knew him well weren't surprised, since he loved to cross the ball.

 Off toppic

A woman in a hotel room overlooking the Rogers Centre in Toronto was spotted clad in only a thong catching Saturday's Blue Jays-Yankees game. A-Rod is reportedly now over Madonna.

 Confucian

Islanders coach Ted Nolan has agreed to leave the team after only two years over "philosophical differences." Does that mean Nolan was more interested in John Locke than the left wing lock?

A true maverick

The documentary "Gonzo," about Hunter S. Thompson, who dabbled in sportswriting, was produced by Mark Cuban. The film was fine, but based on the title, The Buzz thought we were going to watch another Muppets movie.

Pair of jokers

Sports siblings the Skylar Brothers will appear in a series of internet shorts to promote a new line of baseball cards by Topps. Since their old TV show was called "Cheap Seats," the card company that should've approached them was Upper Deck.

Designated quitter

A Brad Penny for the thoughts of actress Alyssa Milano, who recently said she's finished dating baseball players. Probably for the best, since she's done more diamond mining than De Beers.

King crab

While eating at a seafood place in Delaware, Tony Kornheiser allegedly announced he was "too famous to be here." The Buzz figures his favorite fish must be snapper.

Hold your horses

On Monday, hundreds of Colts fans stood in line for free tickets to take a tour of the new stadium, but it wasn't the day of. The walk through isn't until Aug. 16. It was still more exciting than the Indy 500.

Just desserts

The rogue ref rhetoric the NBA has repeated could be wrong. Records show that Tim Donaghy made 134 calls to fellow official Greg Foster during the 2007-07 season. To ante in on a gambling scheme with Donaghy Foster would have to be bananas.

Serg charge

Recently re-signed Washington Capitals player Sergei Fedorov might not have much capital. A Michigan bank is suing him to collect over $2 million in unpaid advances. Consequently, Fedorov will now be forced to play for the San Jose Loan Sharks.

Head case

Stephon Marbury now sports tattoo on the side of his dome, featuring a star, his sneaker company's logo. It's the first positive ink he's gotten in awhile.

Outta here

Justin Morneau won the Home Run Derby, which is funny, since if you asked The Buzz if we want the event to continue in the coming years, we'd say, "More? No!"

Losing ground

Radioactive material was discovered at the main location for the 2012 Olympics in London. As a result, 1 million tons of dirt must be decontaminated. There will surely be fallout from this finding.

Misstep

For the second straight year, the Miss USA contestant has tripped and fallen at the Miss Universe pageant. Next year, the event will be emceed by Michael Buffer, who'll bellow, "Let's get ready to stumble!"

Wear down

Frinton Golf Club in Essex, England has lifted the requirement of 113 years that members play in knee-high stockings. This decision has knocked the socks off traditionalists.

Driven to succeed

Senator Barack Obama has decided against sponsoring a car in the Sprint Cup Series. A campaign spokesman said Obama doesn't want to make race an issue.

Extra, extra

Just checking: Is the MLB All-Star Game still going on?

Tempt work

Building a new arena downtown in Baltimore could lure a WNBA franchise, Sheila Dixon, the city's mayor said. As for what would attract fans, the league is still trying to figure that out.

Perish the thought

Bohemian National Cemetery in Chicago is constructing a space for Cubs supporters to be buried that includes a 24-foot replica of the wall at Wrigley Field - where the ashes will be stored in separate compartments - and a stained-glass scoreboard, scheduled to be completed by October. There's even an idea to pump in audio of live games to the site. Anyone who believes the deceased will maintain their dignity in such a sleazy setting is dead-wrong.