CHESAPEAKE
Angela Smith, 21, figures she's saving $700 a month.
Derek Maynard, 26, has socked away $5,000 since November and paid off more than $1,000 on his car and other debt.
The secret to their windfall is not a high-paying job, thriving investments or a vow never to drive again.
Instead, Smith and Maynard chose to move back in with their parents.
Their decision, an abomination to an earlier generation, has grown more common among young adults. Census figures show that the proportion of 25-year-olds living with their parents grew from 15 percent in 1970 to 22 percent in 2000.
The trend is part of what researchers are calling a "delayed transition to adulthood," with 20-somethings taking longer to graduate from college, land full-time jobs, get married and have children.
Analysts say the trend cuts across income levels, races, even countries, and isn't solely explained by tougher economic times. Still, Smith and Maynard said finances played a large role in their return home.
"I really wanted to focus on paying off student loans instead of paying hundreds of dollars a month in rent," said Smith, who graduated from Old Dominion University in May with a finance degree. Now a Mary Kay consultant, Smith hopes to amass enough money to launch a Christian rap ministry.
Maynard, who'd been living alone in Rochester, N.Y., where he grew up, got a job in the fall with U.S. Customs and Border Protection. He chose the Portsmouth office, partly because his mother and stepfather had moved to Hampton Roads in 2003. Maynard joined them in November.
"It was just an opportunity to get ahead again and save some money," he said. "I had a base where I could figure out where I was and get my bearings."
In both cases, their parents welcomed them back gleefully.
"Without gushing, I thought it was great," said Maynard's mother, Laurie White, chief communications officer for Tidewater Community College. "I've really missed both my kids since we moved here, and it's great to have at least one at home again."
Maynard and Smith said they benefited from already having a solid relationship with their parents. Still, there were adjustments to be made.
Maynard couldn't let his dirty dishes pile up anymore. He also lowered the volume on his music.
"I would probably do things later and louder if I were in my own home," he said.
And Smith no longer could have a gaggle of friends over to play cards late at night, as she did in her dorm at ODU. When she goes out in the evenings now, her father sometimes calls to check up on her.
"I wasn't used to that," Smith said. "In college, you can be out all night. Sometimes, I'm like, 'I'm OK, Dad. I'm a big girl.' But I'm grateful he's concerned."
Though Smith and Maynard come from different walks, their paths back home bear similarities:
Both moved to Chesapeake, Maynard to Riverwalk and Smith to Great Bridge. And they both moved into homes in which they didn't grow up.
Smith, whose father is in the Army, spent most of her childhood in Heidelberg, Germany. She enrolled at ODU in 2004 in part to be closer to other relatives. Her parents had moved to Chesapeake two years later.
Their parents haven't asked them to pay rent, though Smith said she might start chipping in in the fall. Smith expects her weekly pay from Mary Kay to average $300; Maynard said he makes less than $35,000 a year.
There's one big difference, though: Maynard is now back on his own.
He moved out last month to get an apartment in the Olde Towne section of Portsmouth. Last weekend, Maynard's girlfriend came down from Rochester to live with him.
When Maynard was at home, White was struck by her son's willingness to clean dishes without being asked, his consideration to call when he wouldn't be home for dinner.
"I thought, 'This kid grew up,' " she said.
Nor did Maynard complain when he had to forgo favorite shows such as "Family Guy" while watching TV with the family.
Smith also accommodates her parents' concerns: When she goes out, she tries to get back by midnight, and she knocks on her parents' bedroom door to let them know she's home safe.
She pitches in by cleaning the three bathrooms and vacuuming the house once a week.
She still tries to maintain touches of privacy: She keeps her favorite snack - sweet and salty almond bars - in her room, and she labels her container of green tea in the fridge to ward off other drinkers.
Her father is hardly complaining.
"The huge advantage is, I get to see Angela every day," Julius Smith said. "It's been a positive experience."
Cecilia Rouse, a professor of economics and public affairs at Princeton University, co-edited "The Price of Independence: The Economics of Early Adulthood," which was released in December and examines trends such as living with parents. Nowadays, the book's introduction says, the phenomenon is "widespread enough to be considered socially acceptable rather than an indicator of personal failure."
Rouse and other contributors wondered whether economics explained it all.
Not really.
"In the end," she said, "the book shows that the economy plays a small role, but it's not the smoking gun."
One contributor, University of Kentucky economist Aaron Yelowitz, examined housing and transportation costs.
"Both of them matter," he said, "but neither of them can explain the shift that we see across the decades."
"It's a big change," Yelowitz said of the trend. "I was kind of shocked, personally. Pretty much after I went to college, I never returned home."
So why are more young adults doing it now?
Rouse theorized that it might have to do with women's changing roles. With more working when their children are younger, perhaps they're more eager to spend time with them when they're grown.
Also, because "more people have become wealthier, with fewer children, they can invest more in the children they have," she said.
Angela Smith said her contemporaries might be motivated by "the fear of being tossed into the real world, out on your own, alone."
But it's tied to finances, too, she said.
Julius Smith, a master sergeant, said: "Economically, it's been tough for kids coming out of college. This gives them the opportunity to save and do a little bit more maturing."
Angela Smith plans to move out in a year, though no one has set a deadline. She and her father say her stay at home has strengthened their bond.
They watch the Home Channel, take walks and work out together. She also is active in True Love Ministries International, the Virginia Beach church where her father and mother, Janel, are co-pastors.
"You have people to come home to and a lot of support," Smith said, adding that being at home also "helps me to be more focused on my long-term goals."
For Derek Maynard, the time at home went smoothly, but independence is sweet.
"When you go home, you can say you're going to your own home," he said. "You live in your own place."
For his mother, it's the empty nest all over again.
"I walk into his room every day, and it's all quiet," Laurie White said. "There's that feeling that he's gone, but he's not gone that far, so that's good."
Philip Walzer, (757) 222-3864, phil.walzer@pilotonline.com
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what should he make?
"The saddest thing about this article is that a federal law enforcement officer (Border Control and Customs) makes less than $35,000 a year..."
What would you pay a first-year probationary employee for your non-existent Agency (I've never heard of "Border Control and Customs")? In a few years, he'll be making 50k a year or more. A quick look at opm.gov will show you that he's probably a GS-5, which is where some first year employees of CBP start on the GS scale, so don't cry too much for him; in a few years he'll probably have a mansion in P-Town making that kind of money.
Let me summarize
Being sent out on your own teaches you about reality. Dorm rooms and other parent enabled dwellings are not independence. I can speak w/ people I grew up w/ and the ones whos parents left the door open have defiencies in day to day task. They do not have a real grasp on what it means to be independent and self sufficient in a true meaning of the phrase. every hard lesson in my life I have learned out of neccesity. These people have never felt the need in this way and it shows.
Mary Kay anyone? LOL
Poor guy pov
Why are kids at college considered to be independent when majority of the attendees are clearly not paying the bills themselves. Most people with out college degrees begin to take care of themselves way before graduates. No free rides for people from low income families. Get off your high horse and don't forget how you got your degree. Your parents check book. Oh and that dorm room. Keep telling yourself you earned it.
Swinging door
It was a decision we felt we had to make due to our adult child's "situation". After 10 years of it, you want your adult child to be able to support themselves. We couldn't let him/her live in their car, on the street like a homeless person. But at the same time, you hope that the next job or the new whatever, will be what keeps the swinging door form swinging again. I know that it's like you're "enabling" and it is hard not to want to help, we see both sides, him/her and the parents. We are still learning to not be enablers of sorts. It is not our wish nor the adult child. Choices, bad choices from the onset is what caused the swinging door in the beginning.
quit being so judgmental
College or not, everyone has different values and different circumstances. Maybe some of you would (or did) kick your children out at 18. Some of them may become very succesful. College doesn't guarantee success. But those are individual choices.
The article talks about children choosing to move home. It should also discuss how parents feel about it (not just the parents in the article). One of the posters below made a comment about her swinging-door adult child. I would ask that person why they keep letting him in if it bothers them so much. Choice.
Some people use the term 'helicopter parents' too loosely. Some of us can give up control of our children yet still be there to help them become responsible young adults. Parenting doesn't stop when the child turns 18.
jmo
College ain't for everyone
College ain't for everyone. I was talking to a good friend who doesn't have a degree like me. While it is true that some jobs in Hampton Roads in our field really demand degrees, for the most part they are places I wouldn't want to work. My friend reflected on his hobby of racing cars back in Northern Cali. Outside of the .com millionaires he would see at the tracks (Ferrari 360, Porsche, etc), many of the people were self employed in trades like electrical and plumbing. They could afford to drop the $100K+ on racing nice cars. I bet chrome rim shop owners make more money than many masters degreed people in HR. Different kinds of temperaments, of course. My parents were sad I didn't go to college, but they seem happy with my accomplishments now (No I don't own a rim shop or a Ferrari 360, but I get by).
Calling it what it is:
"Delayed transition to adulthood" -- that's a good one.
IT'S ABOUT THE TWO F'S
Family and finances. My stepson has lived with us since 2005 and it has worked out great. He is now 31. He has one wing of the house, we have the other. He is a great help around the house, yard, and pool, and it saves him rent. I imagine he will move out at some point, but even if he doesn't, we have left the house and land to him in our wills, so he's really just taking care of what will be his in the long run. We need to face facts--things today are different than they were in the 80s and 90s when we were growing up. I moved in with my parents for 14 months before I moved in with the man who has now been my husband for 15 years, and at the time I had a bachelor's degree and a very well-paying job. It was a blessing, because seven years later my dad died, so those 14 months together again as a family were golden.
Swinging Door
I have had a child that squandered the opportunity to complete college. Now is struggling to make a living. Has had to move back in and back out more than once. It gets very old. There are circumstances that can't be helped but I feel once you are an adult, you need to support yourself and not run back home to your parents and sponge off of them. Once you leave home, you really need to support yourself and get your own place.
Christian rap
Wowsa! A college degree and making about $300 a week. I'd say she doesn't have any motivation to do better. Oh, wait.....Christian rap is the ticket to self-sufficiency.
Wow.
I'm a 20 something and I haven't lived at home since I finished graduate school in 2005. I moved home briefly while I looked for a job, but moved out once I found one. My parents would probably think they'd done something wrong in raising me if I moved back home so I could pay off debt.
It must make for an interesting social life. "Yeah, I'll go on a date with you. I know I'm 27 years old, but you're going to have to pick me up at my parent's house." How awkward if you don't come home...
Hoohaaaha
"Smith, who graduated from Old Dominion University in May with a finance degree. Now a Mary Kay consultant, Smith hopes to amass enough money to launch a Christian rap ministry."
I can assure you that if this person took her degree seriously, she could easily obtain more lucrative employment in the local area. It sounds like princess has an aversion to hard work. Mary Kay you say? My advice to her parents is to make sure you have an extra room or two in any retirment condo you may eye in the future. That or marry her off as soon as possible. It doesn't look like she will be towing the line.
Who cares what people think
Why are you looked down upon for living with your parents? Just think if generations just all lived in the family home. We would be wealthy. I mean your parents bought a nice house and have been paying on it their whole lives. When they pass on it is sold a divided up between the family. Why not set up shop and make life alot easier? We need to start forming tribes like the indians. One common goal and plenty of people to help accomplish it. Wouldn't that end all the economic problems that families face? Then you wouldn't have to send your kids to day care to be raised by some stranger and wonder why when they get older you know nothing about them. Come together. The american people have changed and so should the american dream. Stop acting on behalf of what other people think. Its all about family and friends helping each other out. If my peaceful ways are wrong then don't come around.
The College Scam
It's amazing to me, that you are grateful for the decision of not going to college. The lifetime income of families headed by individuals with a bachelor's degree will be about $1.6 million more than the incomes of families headed by those with a high-school diploma, according to the Postsecondary Education Opportunity Research Letter. The U.S. Census Bureau tells us that in 1999, average income for a male age 25 or over who holds a bachelor's degree was about $61,000, compared to about $32,000 for a male with a high-school diploma -- so the college graduate's income was about $29,000 more annually than the high-school grad's. And incomes of those with only a high-school education are sinking steadily lower. A college education is an extraordinarily profitable investment. Every dollar spent on a young man's college education produces $34.85 in increased lifetime income.
Studies show that, compared to high-school graduates, college graduates have:
longer life spans
better access to health care
better dietary and health practices
greater economic stability and security
more prestigious employment and greater job satisfaction
less dependency on government assistanc
Talkin' 'bout our Generation
Boomerang Kids and Helicopter Parents...
Also in 1970...
Sounds like use for the 4 extra bedrooms... you know, those boomer couples that insist on having a 4500sqft McMansion for 2 people. The new trend is a master suite on the 1st and 2nd floor, so when they get too old to climb the stairs they can move into the master suite on the 1st and just ignore the 2nd floor I guess. The carrying costs for the energy in these homes has to be high. Might as well rent out the other 5 unused bedrooms, ya know? Their thought was it will fund retirement, but they are wrong. No young people will be able to afford their wishing price if the property had appreciated as they dreamed / their Realtor(R) or the media told them it would.
Jason - The websites have given me so much knowledge, and called things exactly as they are. I have zero complaints. You can't say I'm wrong.
Enablers?
Parents who provide a way for their children to save money and thus have a better chance at achieving economic stability in a time when even a college degree does little to grant you financial security are not enabling their children. Instead, they are being good parents, taking care of their slightly older children the same way they would expect their children to take care of them in old age. It's called being a strong, committed family and supporting one another.
Enablers
People should stop enabling their children. Let them go, get them out on their own 2 feet. Times are hard but that goes with the economy. There are avenues such as military service which offer experience and education. If you were explaining to your child from the start that the better their grades were, then the chances of getting a full scholarship or grant would be better. I can appreciate them getting an education and working for it but sometimes youth should get experience and grow up to make a better determination of their future educational goals. Assist when needed don’t just be an enabler because your child will only rely on you instead of going through the school of hard knocks, which is a reality. Educate them to provide on their own.
Are these statistics even valid???
No mention of the conditions, particularly in 1970. I would think that the writer, a Princeton graduate, would include statistics from 1980 or 1960 if they were available. 1970 was the year after the draft started, and people of that age were either off to war or trying to become perpetual college students, but no mention of that in the article. This would skew the statistics in some way, showing less people living at home and more in college or off to war. Plus, some of them lived in communes at the time. All of this would be different in 1960 or 1980. Comparing it to 1970 is a very poor choice and should have at least been caught by the editors.
Food for thought
My two cousins live with my aunt and uncle and they have lived with them since they graduated from UVA and Maryland with degrees in engineering. They are currently 30 years old. Four years ago each of them had saved $100K, and I would imagine the amount has doubled since then. Although I think they should move out, for those decrying the widsom of moving back in with parents, how dumb is it, really? I think anyone would like to live in a nice house, have a country club membership, and all of that for free. Not so dumb after all. As for my aunt and uncle, if they are okay with it, then really it's up to them. I couldn't imagine living with my parents, but hey, I also don't have 200K saved up.
Seriiously!!
I'd rather my daughters stay at home into their 20's...and graduate college with little to no student loans.
As for college being a scam...are you serious? I went to college in my late 20s/early 30s...so I have a previous profession to which to compare my current profession and income. It's triple to quadruple what I would have been making if I didn't go get that degree!
jkbrent
I know far more none college grads under 25 that live with their parents then college grads. In fact, outside of members of the military, EVERY person I know under 25 with out a degree lives with their parents.
As for this article altogether, I think, its this area. There is nothing for college grads here, as evidenced by the Finance grad selling Mary Kay (a job that doesnt require even a high school diploma). I can bet this area has far more unemployed, or underemployed college grads then almost any other metro area in the nation.
For instance, I can bet the chances of a finance grad in NYC, Chicago, or Philadelphia selling Mary Kay for a living, are almost nil.
Snicker
Stop reading those silly hyperbole laden web sites...you'll be a smarter person.
Salary
Not everyone is going to be able to make a 6 digit salary as a government employee. Those that do have been educated beyond high school. A border guard does not fall into the higher educated job sector reauirment.
Fascinating
Fascinating, I read predictions of this 3 or 4 years ago on Housing Bubble Blogs. This will help to drive rents down, and will also hurt the housing market. I saw data the other day that rents are going _DOWN_ in Austin, TX due to over-supply. If all the projects go up in Norfolk that is likely to happen there too (but everyone will still probably continue to move away from Hampton Roads.) If these young people are smart, they will save up as much money as possible. As America's economy fails due to Greenspan, the get rich quick mentality of the housing mania, and everyone ignoring sound lending practices there will be deals to be had if you can maintain a job, and have cash. Saw lots of news about people who's home value had dropped below what they paid, but they can afford it -- and they are walking away anyways. That wasn't predicted in any of the models for the loans or investments in loans either, but it's now happening.
Bitter jkbrent?
you write: "Amazing to me how it's always the beautiful college people who end up back at home. Makes me grateful that I made the decision not to waste my time or money on the college scam." Actually, you're wrong. While the subject of the article may focus on college graduates returning to the nest, it certainly is not true that it's always the "beautiful college people" ending up back home. Perhaps if you "wasted the time and money" on a logic course, you would see the error in your argument.
Returning to family values...
First off this is not a discussion on how much a person is paid for a specific job...
I belong to a Korean-heritage family...where the children live with the parents until they are married and when the parents retire - the children welcome them into their homes...
The parents support their children throughout their life with advice and love. When they cannot work because of age-related ailments they become babysitters and care-takers of the family.
This is the ideal of family values. Everyone contributing to the common good and the family itself grows stronger and richer.
"An abomination to earlier generations"?!?
It used to be that extended families lived together almost indefinitely. Children would live at home until they got married, no matter how old they were. In the meantime, they'd be helping their parents out, making things easier on the parents. Often when sons would marry, mothers or mothers-in-law would move in when they became widows. That's often how new mothers would learn how to parent and take care of babies. Now new mothers often are learning things on their own and fearful about it. It is sad today that some people consider families living together and helping each other out as a bad thing. As long as the homeowners don't mind, usually the parents, and the "visitors" are helping out and not freeloading, then I think it is a wonderful thing.
quite true
Indeed, that is a pathetic salary for someone with that kind of risk in his daily job. The remainder of these people, I have almost no patience for. Amazing to me how it's always the beautiful college people who end up back at home. Makes me grateful that I made the decision not to waste my time or money on the college scam.
The saddest thing about this
The saddest thing about this article is that a federal law enforcement officer (Border Control and Customs) makes less than $35,000 a year.