Silence helps teens turn feelings into self-knowledge

By Heather Brown

STUART, Va.

A glass of muddy water is murky and unclear until it sits a while and the dirt settles.

This is also true for the human mind.

That was one of many images and messages imparted during a six-day Teen Meditation Retreat earlier this month at Earthsong Organic Farm and Retreat in the Blue Ridge Mountains.

The retreat focused on how meditation can bring us to the present moment through breath, body sensations and sounds.

This is not a practice most would think teens would be excited about - or even interested in.

But that's changing.

In Stuart, I learned what an impact power meditation can have on your life.

After sitting with feelings of pain or struggles and exploring them in silence, the intensity of the feelings subsides and the strife can be turned into wisdom. The teachers wanted to show us young people how to experience happiness.

"Our teachers and mentors at the retreat have incredible passion to help young people take care of themselves," said Joe Klein, a licensed youth counselor and retreat staff member.

"This retreat gives kids a set of skills which they can discover their own balance and mental health, and they can maintain their health with those skills."

At the retreat, that meant body as well as spirit.

We ate vegetarian (mostly vegan) food, remained in "noble" silence for 13 hours a day, spoke truthfully and refrained from any sexual activity.

Foodwise, we ate things like stuffed shells, tofu and different kinds of soup (we even played a game guessing what was in the soup). Eating vegan means not consuming anything made with animal products, including milk and eggs. It was enriching to know I don't have to harm animals for my nourishment.

On the meditation front, to be nobly silent means refraining from all forms of contact including talking, gesturing and physical interaction.

To be able to be alone with my thoughts and better understand my mind through silent times was life-changing.

Being honest with others, as well as yourself, takes a great deal of determination. Every day we learned more about our practice through dharma (the teaching of Buddha) talks, discussion groups and workshops, all of which were enlightening in different ways and spoke to each of us in unique ways. Mindfulness for every action or thought was reiterated.

"The goal here is not to give young people information, but to provide an opportunity for them to discover what is true for them," said Jason Murphy, a retreat teacher.

A game we played called "hot seat" helped us open up.

That's where a person in a small group can be asked any question the group wants.

"You can learn so much about people in just an hour if you just sit and really listen," said Portsmouth resident Maury Cooke, whose Gregory Lin Cooke Memorial Fund underwrites part of the retreats. "For the game to work, everyone is vulnerable, but feels safe because there are no criticisms or judgments passed on the person in the 'hot seat.'"

The 15 teens who attended the retreat are normal kids from as far away as Illinois and Maine, and as close to Stuart as 10 minutes.

The youngest was 13, the oldest 19. Some had battled incredible things, including cancer. There's something to be said about teenagers who volunteer themselves and their time to clean a flooded bathroom or help with dishes.

Having the retreat in the middle of nowhere made it easy to see nature's beauty. It was nice knowing that nothing short of a mosquito could hurt us there.

Linda Dew, co-founder of Earthsong, also participated in the retreat.

"The most profound thing I see is it gives the teens a different way to handle day-to-day problems, events, with a positive outlet," Dew said in an e-mail. "It is a more a life lesson on compassion, love and the teen knowing 'Hey, I am OK just as I am.'"

Bennett Buchanan, 19, of Maryland, got that message loud and clear. "I came to the retreat because I believe that it provides an amazing opportunity to get to know and develop love for oneself and, in turn, for others."

"I'm coming back for many years to come," said Abraham Dreaming Wolf Cherrix, 18, of Floyd, Va. "It's an experience I cannot shake off my back easily."

For me, I don't know how I lived my life without this experience, and I encourage anyone who is ready to look deep inside themselves to take a leap of faith and try a meditation retreat. It doesn't matter your race, religion, sexual orientation, past or future; if you are open to the experience it can really help you look at your life in a completely new way.

Heather Brown, a 2008 graduate of Granby High School in Norfolk, hrb612@aol.com