Sports world's Richter scale needs a timeout

In many ways, it's shocking to think how much punishment our fragile planet has to endure. Suffocating emissions. Deadly weather systems. Various and sundry plundering. "I Survived a Japanese Game Show." Et cetera and et cetera.

And then, we have all of these athletes and enablers who just won't stop threatening to further shock an overwhelmed world with their breathtaking acts of brilliance.

As if earthquakes, disease and famine aren't enough, thanks very much.

Muhammad Ali used to say his victories would shock the world, but that boast was perfect for the bigger-than-life Ali persona. It should have left the stage when he did.

It did not. So now, according to a news report this week, we have some Nigerian ambassador canvassing his country for footballers who "could shock the world."

Exactly how this shock might register went unreported, which is troubling. Perhaps, though, a hint will come if has-been golfer David Frost, 48, truly has enough retooled game to "shock the world" at the British Open, as a South African publication just wondered.

If so, we can only hope the world has recovered by then from Tamarine Tanasugam's upset of Jelena Jankovic at Wimbledon. "Tammy shocks the world!" screamed Thailand's Siamsport Daily.

But I have to admit I must've been napping when those vibrations were rattling my windows. It also might have helped to know there was a tennis player named Tamarine Tanasugam. But, oh well.

Now, I was prepared (not really) to absorb the blow had fans of Welsh motorcycle racer Chris Harris helped him "shock world again," as abridged by London's Daily Mail.

Alas, Harris couldn't defend his British Speedway Grand Prix title - disappointing for Harris, but lucky for a planet able to orbit through only a limited number of British Grand Prix jolts.

It's actually fortunate so many "shock- the-world" threats are empty, or else Earth would have been concussed into oblivion long ago. Think about all these close calls, just in the last few months:

The NBA's Atlanta Hawks vowed to shock 6.7 billion humans - they even had T-shirts made up, although I don't think everybody got one - and take out the Boston Celtics.

An Oral Roberts basketball player warned the world to hold on to its pants when his team beat Pittsburgh in the NCAA tournament. Boxer David Diaz advised the continents to brace themselves because he was fixing to pound Manny Pacquiao.

Ultimate Fighter Matt Serra swore Georges St. Pierre was going down. Singer Vince Gill pledged his hometown Belmont basketballers would dump Duke. A football recruiting geek warned a Pennsylvania high school kid would stun India and all parts north by choosing Penn State.

And an AP report predicted Tale of Ekati - the horse himself refused comment - would shock the entire South Pacific, including Tuvalu and New Caledonia, by winning the Belmont Stakes.

Blessedly, none of that happened. Whew.

But we relax at our own risk. Peril is always near.

Consider yourself warned: A Charleston Southern football player recently proclaimed this mission in life: getting his teammates "to believe we can go out and shock the world" when they open the season at Miami next month.

The wise global citizen will prepare early for that impact.

Tom Robinson, (757) 446-2518, tom.robinson@pilotonline.com