Teen pregnancy rate in region is above state average

WOW!! I was expecting some blistering, accusatory replies to my controversial comment. But, I found some very wise and thoughtful comments.

Msanders – you are certainly an excellent role model. Yes, we teach and talk to our children, affirming frequently what we have said. But, sometimes, they will go and touch the flame themselves to realize that it does burn. But your training, in the long run, has paid off and I salute you.

Roberty – I too was raised on the values of respecting authority and listening to wise counsel. Did I always follow that counsel? Nope. But I learned, sometimes the hard way, and I always knew that the advice from my parents was right on and I always appreciated it.

Joyceb – How right you are. When our youth recognize wise counsel, they will go to it even if it’s not their own parents. But you taught them as a parent should.

My hat’s off to you all.

We CAN talk 'til we are blue in the face, but we need to be active in the child's life. We need to know where our children are at all times. Ask yourself this question, where was your child, msanders1409, when she has sex? More importantly, where were you?

Talk is a good start, we must now do

I agree. I found that the teenagers want some kind of guidance. I talked with my teenagers and soon many of their friends were coming to me to talk about issues that were important to them. Kids want someone to have a conversation with. They don't want to be yelled at or lectured to. They want someone who is willing to talk with them one on one and listen to their concerns. Those concerns may be trivial to you but they are important to them. I also believe that the community can help. You don't have to become a foster parent, but there are mentoring programs that need people. Neighborhoods can get together and have group activities for the kids. If your teenager has friends who have parents that work long hours (some work two jobs) offer to invite the friend over to do his homework or pick them up from school. All it takes is a little of your time, but the rewards are great.

The way our government has stepped into our lives, how do we hold our children accountable? If you tell a teenager to do something and they tell you where to go, what can you do.......not really a whole lot. I am in my mid 40's and respected my parents. I was raised with Southern values and respect. I knew that if I told dad where to go, what would happen.

How do we educate our children about what happens when they have babies as teens? It is difficult when some teens have been raised by teen mothers and their mothers have been raised by teen mothers. It has become acceptable in their social circles.

What is the answer.....mandatory birth control while on government assistance?

...you can talk until you are blue in the face, which I have done, and there is no guarantee that your child will heed the advice. I am a single parent, not by choice, but by death, and I have a 14 y/o daughter who I have been talking to about sex for years. I preach abstinence hard...very hard; however, I also told her that if she found herself ignoring my advice to PLEASE use protection, ie., a condom. Well, as with many teens, she found "the love of her life" and after months of dating, she decided it was ok to have sex. Mad, hell yeah I was angry, but pregnant, no she is not...she at least listened to some of my advice. And now that the "love of her life" is gone, she realizes I was right all along. She preaches abstinence now. BTW, I am not on welfare, do not receive any public assistance; nor do I have Section 8 housing...but I am a single mom! So let's not judge all single parent households.

Silcnlayc, you and sj32 are a part of this problem. That is a gross representation of lazy parenting. “Here you go girls. I am giving you birth control pills. Now don’t go out and have sex even though I just gave you your permission slip. Now run along and let your hormones direct your life.”

Sad and pathetic. You think your are giving your children a solution to all their problems. Why don’t you actually spend some time with them? Talk to them? Tell them that they will be accountable and responsible for their own actions? Fill their lives with love and respect. Give them dignity in their upbringing so they don’t have to resort to a ten minute fling that results in a lifetime responsibility.

I weep for our youth who have parents who don’t address the issue. Patents just automatically give up by giving birth control pills and condoms.

Okay, I’m ready for the bitter response.

PERMISSION GRANTED

This is essentially what you told your daughters. You contradicted yourself by saying they can't have sex, but you can't stop it [ergo, permission granted]. You never mentioned a conversation about STD's. Do your daughters have Herpes? They may and not know it yet, but have the dormant virus due to your liberal sexual policy. Pregnancy is the least of their worries and they are lucky they have not become pregnant.

If my daughter had told me a neighbor had advised them to tell me to to put her on birth control, you'd have hell to pay. Because you think liberally and could care less about your daughters' physical health (STD's) doesn't give you the right to put the idea in another child's head.

Oh, and because one wants to do something doesn't mean they should...

"Submitted by sj32 on Wed, 07/02/2008 at 11:24 am.
I started my girls on birth control when they were 14. I explained to them that being on birth control does not mean you can have sex. But, I know that one day you are going to want to have sex and I can not stop that but I want you to be prepared and not get pregnant. And wow I have no grandchildren and my girls are now 21, 17. I had the neighborhood girls coming to me to talk to me about sex and how to talk to their mothers about getting on birth control. It is not a bad thing, just talk to them. If you don't some cute young man will and then you will be a grandparent."

Smartest answer by far which was implemented in our household ....
and passed down to our kids...

IMO the top 5 issues driving this problem are:

-Worthless parent(s)
-Teenage pregnancy has lost it's negative label
-Hollywood, Music, and Retail marketing sex
-Low self-esteem
-Low I.Q.

joanie06 wrote:

We should offer free surgical procedues plus a monetary incentive to males or females at any age to have their tubes tied or a vasectomy. This would cut down on some teenage pregnancies. These kids would jump at the chance to get $5,000 in return for a surgical procedure.

Joanie, go back and re-read what you wrote several times, now several more, and again; do you see the idiocy of it?

Teens don't have the ability to think past the surge of hormones. Sounds great when you're 17, but you get married and settle down and have a brain that thinks [hopefully] logically; what then? Not to mention it gives them [in your eyes] carte blanche to go have sex with anyone they want. And keep in mind sterilization doesn’t prevent any STD’s.

Your suggestion sounds like something out of Nazi Germany or Communist China...

I think it's hard to talk to your kids about sex. It wasn't so much for me, but I know many parents who just side-step the issue all together. I honestly believe the parents who can have these discussions don't have STD, HIV or pregnant kids. I tought my kids consequences and at an early age. There are many helpful booklets out to assist parents if they would take the time to check it out. Steve is correct when talking about parents we need to understand that many are simply parent (singular) and not parents (plural) and often a guardian is the parent. From what I understand it's even harder to talk to your kids about drugs. I don't think we do enough to educate parent(s) or kids. Is it the responsibility of the schools? I don't know, but I don't think we can overlook any effort to prevent pregnancy, STS's, or HIV. Personally I don't see anything wrong with flooding our schoools with booklets about thes

Zee and I have a bit of common ground, I am now 40 with a 20 yr old daughter. I too have been by her side all the way. Zee ... did you educate your children about teenage pregnancy? I would bet you did, as I never hid from the fact that it would have better if I had been older from my daughter. The question is, in the impoverished neighborhoods of VA and the country as a whole, what are the children teaching their children? More babies = more $$$?

As a responsible parent, I admitted my faults and errors to my daughter, a rising junior at a university. I am proud of her.

We should offer free surgical procedues plus a monetary incentive to males or females at any age to have their tubes tied or a vasectomy. This would cut down on some teenage pregnancies. These kids would jump at the chance to get $5,000 in return for a surgical procedure.

choclab,
There are two kinds of Section 8: the familiar Voucher and a directly subsidized complex. From your comments that Chesapeake complex sounds like the latter. If so, $23,000 for someone single would probably be too high.
However, directly-subsidized complexes are few. (Virginia Beach only has 4 that I know of.)
cdmoore, Monogamy helps, but you can as easily get pregnant with one partner as you can with multiple partners.
cboath, Love your comments! Let's see how many of these "Section 8/welfare" bashers step up to the plate.
I'll throw in my two cents worth: as a bachelor, show me one of those single mothers who is of legal age, cute, and available. Such a woman wants a home for herself and her child and would be straight-forward with me to get it. :)

This isnt the 60's,kids today become sexually active at a very early age,a sign a great parenting............( now here's where the parents who neglected to teach thier kids about sex jump in with alll kinds of lame excuses,the most common will be peer pressure............yeh right)..

There actually is a way where kids can become involved in something meaningful even if their parents are total duds (and without costing the government money). There are *lots* of good, relevant church youth groups in Virginia Beach. Are they totally lacking in Franklin? That would surprise me because we have so many congregations called "International" here. Is it possible that we have planted all kinds of churches overseas but not crossed Route 58 to plant a good church with relevant youth programs in Franklin?
I found church to be the best innoculation against teen pregnancy, when I was a teen and in my own son's life now. The problem with abstinence programs in school is that they can be portrayed as though you are the only one who really believes like that (because often the teachers are sexually active outside of marriage, too, and you know it). If you are in a youth group where chastity

What is with all this "parents" (plural) talk?? Look at the statistics. Kids are lucky to have a PARENT (singular) in the home. The statistics are rising at a frightening rate for children living in a home with NO PARENT(ie; raised by relative or in foster care)let alone "parents". Nice discussion but you are about 30 years late with the idea of addressing the "parents". Thanks to the shaping of our society by demo/ socialist programs like welfare..that horse left the barn quite some time ago fellers. We can thank the "new thinking free love liberals" for that one. Not sure if you read much but the new norm is a 1 or 0 parent home.

I volunteered for Junior Achievment a few while back. Go into the schools guys. It was disturbing. 8th graders discussing how they don't get along with "moms new boyfriend" etc. I couldn't find a kid with 2 parents still together with the father as wage earner and mom at hom

I fully understand what you are saying and wish I had the answer. I stongly feel parents need to be accountable for their children, and yes teachers do play a major role in "raising" some people's kids. The book is great and I've even written to the Norfolk Council to get it in our educational system. Not keeping my hopes up.

Georges, I read that book. You are absolutely correct about the book and about parenting.
It is such a quandary. Here is a major issue with bad/lack of parenting. I would hate for the government to get involved. That is absolute last resort. There is no need for government meddling. However, how does the issue get addressed? Actually, it is amazing how much of an impact community intervention has on people. I'm not in any way shape or form advocating vigilanteism. But when the community makes it clear to parents that their lack of involvement in their children is going to result in bad things, perhaps the pressure from that will bring change. But, schools also have a big influence on the impressionable mind. If educators are just as bad as parents in “letting kids do what they want to do”, then there is no frame of reference for the kids to know right from wrong.

"How about if we (parents and teachers) actually taught our children responsibility, accountability, and the difference between right and wrong? Don’t you think that would bring the numbers down?"

The problem with that is parents don't teach their children. That's a reality we can't overlook. It would be great if parents taught their children all those things, but parents (certainly not all) simply let their little darlings do as they please. That's why we have so many gangs, so many juvenile shootings, and so many pregnancies. I'll bet you right at this moment most parents don't even know where their kids are. Bill Consby co-authored a great book that should be required reading not only for kids but parents called C'mon People.

Nicoler, we have driver education to teach our children to drive safely and how to prevent an accident. Using your logic, we should just cease all driver education, give the kids a license and a year’s supply of insurance, and just let them do what they want to do. They’re going to do it anyway.
I know that what I just wrote is absurd, however, so is your comment. The fact that the liberal NEA and NTU do not like Abstinence Only education, do you really think they would give a statistic that would essentially bury their agenda?
Fact – Abstinence prevents pregnancies
Fact – Abstinence prevents STDs
How about if we (parents and teachers) actually taught our children responsibility, accountability, and the difference between right and wrong? Don’t you think that would bring the numbers down? If you still don’t think it would help, then I guess your point of view can never be changed or swayed.

If we don't find a way to reach the parent(s) we will never reach the kids.

No I think the M word is monogamy. It seems once again the rates are higher in areas where there are 1 parent households and a continous cycle from generation to generation of pregnancy out of marriage. I was raised in a single parent household and therefore ended up pregnant myself under the age of 18. I chose to break that cycle with me and educated and talk to my child about abstinence and sex education at an early age. Lot of parents may disagree with my method but with internet, radio and television the way it is these days, I rather discuss at an early age than to deal with unexpected issue that will arise later. In those areas where pregnancy is high, education needs to start early. If I was given The government should step in with a far as education so that our children will not be come unwanted statistics and have to depend on the government later for handouts

Take this part:

"Young girls are defining themselves through motherhood," said Beth Reavis, director of social services for the city of Franklin. She is seeking grant funding to start programs aimed at preventing teen pregnancies. "The only thing that changes that dynamic is education," she said.

Wow...so education is her mind is changing other people's cultural ideals to her own. That is clearly a parenting job.

When you average a group of items, unless they are all the same number, then some will be more than the average and others less. So, some areas in Virginia have less than the average number of teen pregnancies. So, congrats to those counties.

Liberals also tend to advocate living wage campaigns, free training, and reduced educational costs, all of which the rank and file "conservative" opposes.

So let me get this straight, you dont want to pay for them, but you dont want to force businesses to provide a living wage, or provide them the training they need to possibly compete for a better job. What do you advocate? Mass extermination of the poor?

Let's look at the demographics of Franklin.........52% black, 45% white with an unusally high percentage of women (55.8%-44.2%)per city-data.com. Not enough men to go around. Sounds like a recipe for disaster. The women do whatever they feel they must do to get a man.

what Ruthead has to say about all this.

Statistics like these reflect the third world morass the United States has become and is becoming. It is a statistic associated with crime, ignorance, and poverty in one continuous feedback loop—but also bodes a bleaker future for taxpayers, teachers, police, and the dwindling, harried devotees of high investment parenting. The consolidated anonymity of our public schools no doubt contributes to this vulnerability, since it leaves students more suggestible to gangs, fashion, loneliness, and the trendy messages out of Hollywood.

I love all this ranting about the government shouldn't do this or they shouldn't do this or that if they live in Section 8. Now my question is what do you want to do with the kids? If you say they shouldn't be in the care of the adults who have received government aid for generations then I guess you're the next candidate to be their foster parent. Remove the child from these families. Put them into your household. Terminate the rights of the birth parents and adopt them yourselves. Put their little butts on the straight an narrow and you show them how to be productive citizens. Of course if you're not willing to do that, there's still the issue of what to do with the kids.