RICHMOND
Fresh-faced and vivacious, Bernadette Snyder says she grew up in Virginia assuming Catholic girls like her either became nuns or found a man.
At 29, she is still single, and assuredly not a nun.
"I mean, do you see this in a convent?" Snyder said, glancing at her flowered skirt, peasant blouse and jewelry. "It just doesn't happen. I mean, really!"
Instead, Snyder chose a little-known third path with a long tradition in Catholicism: She became a consecrated, perpetual virgin - the first in the 188-year history of the Richmond diocese, which includes Hampton Roads.
Wearing a white sundress and big pink earrings, Snyder knelt in May as Bishop Francis X. DiLorenzo laid hands on hers in the rite of Consecration to a Life of Virginity of Women Living in the World.
He also slipped onto her ring finger a gold band - a symbol of her spousal relationship with Jesus Christ.
"He completes me," Snyder said. "I don't even know if marriage is the proper term; I feel like he's my husband."
To the Catholic Church, Snyder's calling is as much a formal vocation as the priesthood or religious orders of nuns.
Christian celibacy extends to the church's earliest years. In the New Testament, the apostle Paul spoke approvingly of virginity. "The unmarried woman and the virgin are anxious about the affairs of the Lord, so they may be holy in body and spirit," he said. "The married woman is anxious about the affairs of the world, how to please her husband."
The early church regularly consecrated virgins who didn't lead monastic lives, but the rite fell into disuse by the eighth or ninth century. The Vatican restored it in 1970.
In a 1996 treatise, "Consecrated Life," Pope John Paul II wrote that celibacy manifests the virginal life of Jesus Christ and his mother, Mary.
Constant celibacy, he said, reflected "dedication to God with an undivided heart," while virginity was a source of "mysterious spiritual fruitfulness."
The pope called it "a source of joy and hope to witness in our time a new flowering of the ancient Order of Virgins."
The U.S. Association of Consecrated Virgins, which formed in 1996, estimates there are 200 consecrated virgins nationwide. Most of those consecrations have come in the last 10 years, said Judith Stegman, the group's president.
She was among 500 consecrated virgins from 52 countries who met in Vatican City in May to discuss how to promote the order, and how virgins should live out their vocation.
Pope Benedict XVI told the gathering their chastity benefited all people, even though the world may consider it "unintelligible and useless."
That's certainly true for American pop culture, always ready with a smirk for the seemingly hapless celibate.
Losing virginity has been good for laughs in many films, including "The 40-Year-Old Virgin" (2005), "American Pie" (1999) and "The Last American Virgin" (1982).
Meanwhile, the same culture celebrated the sophisticated, bed-hopping heroines of "Sex and the City," the hit television series and film.
"There are people who assume the only reason you haven't had sex is because you're undesirable," Snyder acknowledged. "They think it's a fault that you actually haven't had intercourse."
Snyder said men in particular are confounded by her vow of virginity. "They just don't grasp the concept of why I don't feel the need to have a man take care of me," she said. "I tell them, 'I've got THE man taking care of me,' " meaning Jesus.
Snyder grew up attending public schools in Colonial Heights. Though she had childhood crushes on boys, "I wasn't really as interested in one-on-one dating because I enjoyed being with people so much."
Her first inkling of a religious single life outside the convent came at 18 when a consecrated virgin spoke to Snyder's Catholic youth group.
The woman spoke of being married to Christ. "To see the joy in her face - I said, 'that's it! That's what I'm called to do,' " Snyder recalled.
She eventually contacted her parish priest, who said he'd never heard of the rite. He sent Snyder to the diocese's vocational director.
" 'Wait until you're 30, in case you meet Mr. Right,' " she recalled the priest saying. "I said, 'I've already met Mr. Right!' "
Snyder did wait, however - for 10 years. During that time, she earned a mathematical sciences degree from Virginia Commonwealth University and became a marketing analyst for a real estate company.
She also met regularly with spiritual directors, read about saints' lives, prayed the rosary daily and wore a band on her ring finger to repel suitors.
All the while, she maintained the vow of celibacy she made in prayer at 19.
"All of a sudden it was on my heart and I could feel Christ asking me to be his bride and in the order of consecrated virgins. I just said, 'Yes.' "
About 1-1/2 years ago, Snyder finally contacted the bishop and asked for the consecration rite. In a first for his own career, DiLorenzo performed the ceremony during Sunday Mass on May 25 at St. Michael Catholic Church outside Richmond.
Consecrated virgins aren't supported financially by the church. Snyder works for the diocese as a geostatistician in the Office of Planning.
Al though they are obliged to serve God, consecrated virgins generally decide what form that ministry will take.
"The time that you would have devoted to husband and kids is what you're actually devoting to prayer and ministry," Snyder said. "When you choose to remain celibate, you choose to love God through all people."
Her service includes sponsoring a prospective Catholic convert and washing the altar cloths of her parish and the chapel at the diocese's headquarters. She helps serve communion, teaches first-communion classes and does other volunteer work at her church.
Like most consecrated virgins, Snyder recites the morning and evening prayers that are part of the liturgy of the hours, the Catholic Church's daily set of prayers and readings.
But Snyder said prayer infuses her whole day, whether she's number-crunching on the job or reading spiritual texts in her apartment.
"How am I going to be at home with my husband, Jesus Christ, and never speak to him? Prayer is constant," she said.
It is a joyful lifestyle, she says, with time for friends, quilting and following her favorite NHL hockey team, the Anaheim Ducks.
Her life is not without moments of sacrifice. "When I really feel it is when I get sick, I'm at home laying in bed, and it would be really nice if I had someone to cook my soup," she said.
She also forgoes sexual gratification.
"Hello! I'm a young woman," she said, laughing. "I'm obviously going to still be attracted to guys. These are things you deal with. In marriage, it's the same thing - you've made a commitment."
Unlike a marriage, though, which sometimes can be annulled by a diocesan tribunal, Snyder says there's no possibility she'll give up on her consecration.
"It's a perpetual vow, which means you cannot get out of it," she said. "I'd like to meet the tribunal that can grant an annulment to Jesus Christ!"
Steven G. Vegh, (757) 446-2417, steven.vegh@pilotonline.com
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"I consider this discussion with you closed..."
Your own words there, phrog. Guess you lied again, huh? "Truth" as you call it.
Now tell us who sent that apologetic link to you. Surely you didn't find it on your own when you are so busy showing how smart you think you are while using terms like "feeble intelect" as you express it.
Want to try again to show us a site where they actually list the Bible as "one of the most accurate references"?
Check it out if you dare
http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Delphi/8449/two.html
Okay, I gave you evidence. But I know your MO and you will dispute it and attempt to discredit this piece.
The fact of the matter, Keithb, is that no matter what I give you as evidence you will do your utmost to spin and twist. That is because you are so blinded by your own contempt for truth that you would not know truth if it was right on the tip of your nose.
If I said the sky is blue, you would say it's green just because you don't want to know the truth.
Religion Can Be So Kooky!
If a person claims to be Jesus he is labelled a schizophrenic but to be married to Jesus one is a consecrated virgin...give me a break!
Twist and spin all you want
Keithb, you really need to stop insisting to argue for the sake of arguing. You prove your ignorance. History is not learned without archaeology and archaeological discoveries have revealed many ancient cultures and societies. With the use of the bible, archaeologists have been able to discover some of the intricacies of these ancient cultures.
By the way, how was it that I did not back up my claim? I gave you a reference in which you can look up yourself. But you refuse to because it just won’t fall in line with the lies and distortion that you have committed your life to.
Many people have tried and failed to prove the bible is wrong. Notice that I said tried and FAILED. So, continue with your warped failure thinking.
I consider this discussion with you closed since you just do not know how to reason and think openly.
ok, phrog. historical now becomes arch.....
You cannot back up your claims. Funny how you think the Bible needs your lies to support it.
Google
Keithb, I could never give you an answer, no matter how factual, relevant, or credible it is, that would satisfy you. You automatically put up a very biased filter that says "I am never wrong". I do not like to call others closed minded, but if there was a definition to closed-mindedness, I think you could be a ready example.
But for the sake of your inquiry, google "bible as archaeological reference". You will find a pluthera of articles and references to support my claim. But, you will also be able to find many articles and references to support your claim.
I already know which one you will gravitate to. So spin away to attempt to validate your feeble intelect.
A LOT CAN HAPPEN IN A FEW DAYS
Hmm...it is Monday and I can't help but wonder if she's still a virgin.
Before arguing about religion....
I strongly recommend reading Mark Twain's Letters From the Earth just for a sense of perspective.
"It is listed as one of the most accurate references...."
Where is it listed, phrog?
The Bible is a known history book too
Einstein, it would do you well to pick up and read the Bible. I say that because no where in the Bible is there any record of the Bolshevik revolution nor Stalin’s cleansing. I did get my information from history books and from a simple thing called Google. Just because it doesn’t fall in line with your particular agenda does not mean that it did or did not happen.
Also, many well known and credible archeologists use the Bible as a reference of historical timelines and ancient societies and cultures. It is listed as one of the most accurate references to our world history.
Just because YOU do not believe in the existence of God does not mean that He does not exist. Just like I said, if you all don’t want to believe in Him, that is your prerogative. It is you that will answer for your response to His existence, not me.
But the outcome is the same . . .
Since the state religion of communism has been atheism ("religion is the opiate of the masses," after all) and since anyone who doesn't sign up for the whole package is suspect and is often tortured and/or killed, of course a whole lot of Christians get hurt under Communism (people from other faiths, too, I am sure). It seems like splitting hairs to say that the governing class only intends to force compliance with the political system. Regardless of their intent and what is in their hearts, the governing class has tortured or killed a lot of believers in the name of Communism.
The official Chinese church is still the "Three Selves" movement of Christianity. Some of my friends think it is orthodox and some do not. But the bottom line remains, if the Chinese do not sign up for that particular church, they have to meet in secret or risk prison. It is still happening, folks . . . Cheers, MGM
nice try
Communists aren't trying to "convert" people to atheism. They are trying to stamp out opposition to their political order. Not the same thing as the Spanish Inquisition, for example, when not convincing your inquisitor you truly believed in the right church got you tortured in a number of creative ways and / or killed outright. Or God forbid you fell into the river and didn't drown - they'd try you as a witch (Witchduck Road, anyone?).
google Catholic Church torture
Turkey . . .
Thankfully Byzantium/Constantinople/Istanbul has been pretty well-defended throughout history and ended up being one of the last bastions (along with the Celtic monasteries in Ireland) against the loss of Greek and Roman classics during the Middle Ages in Western Europe.
There would have been no Renaissance (translates: rebirth, as in the rebirth of Greek and Roman classical thought) if the Western European barbarians had destroyed the classics when the Western part of the Roman Empire fell. The Eastern part remained until 1453, time coincident with the invention of the printing press, and the great works of antiquity were preserved.
This, of course, has nothing to do with the Crusades, but I just thought I would throw it in there that the city now called Istanbul has been pretty impermeable throughout history, with excellent results for the human race and culture lovers everyw
crusaders? Christians killing christians as well
"The Fourth Crusade (1202–1204) was originally designed to conquer Muslim Jerusalem by means of an invasion through Egypt. Instead, in April 1204, the Crusaders of Western Europe invaded and conquered the Christian (Eastern Orthodox) city of Constantinople, capital of the Byzantine Empire. This is seen as one of the final acts in the Great Schism between the Eastern Orthodox Church and Roman Catholic Church. It has been often described as one of the most profitable and disgraceful sacks of a city in history.[5]"
Alfred Einstein!
So are you saying we should believe the Chinese government when it assures us that everyone there has complete freedom of religion (at least the Christians--we all know about the Dalai Lama's followers)? Just the way we believe them when they tell us they have manufactured our toys and cookware safely, eh? And the way their own people believe them when all of the schools fall down in an earthquake, leaving intact buildings all around them, and they assure everyone it was one big coincidence? Yeah, I love how there is no credibility gap with the Chinese government. When they say they aren't persecuting Christians, why we can be sure that the Christian pastors who smuggle letters out are just making up the whole persecution thing. Not! Cheers, MGM
CS
"cs, in response to your question: “when was the last time someone tried to convert people to atheism by the sword?”
Google North Korea
Needs a history lesson
"cs, in response to your question: “when was the last time someone tried to convert people to atheism by the sword?” the answer is, during the Bolshevik Revolution of 1917 and Stalin’s cleansing of the Ukraine during the early 1930s. Millions were slaughtered. All through the communist regimes, thousands of christians died at the hands of those who were sworn atheists. Even today in China, people who believe are persecuted for their faith in Jesus Christ."
Obviously someone needs to get their history from the library instead of a Bible class.
cs, in response to your
cs, in response to your question: “when was the last time someone tried to convert people to atheism by the sword?” the answer is, during the Bolshevik Revolution of 1917 and Stalin’s cleansing of the Ukraine during the early 1930s. Millions were slaughtered. All through the communist regimes, thousands of christians died at the hands of those who were sworn atheists. Even today in China, people who believe are persecuted for their faith in Jesus Christ.
Now, why would someone be willing to die for their faith? Especially a faith in someone whom you say does not exist? I believe that the evidence of the very existence and nature of God far outweighs your “evidence” or perception that He does not exist.
But, I believe what I want to believe and you don’t believe what you don’t want to believe.
Christ is your husband??
Um, no, Christ is our savior, noone's husband. And, hello, God said to go forth, be fruitfull, and multiply!!!!!
CB
The Roman Empire fell in 476 but the Crusades didn't start until 600 years later. Your timeline conveniently leaves out 600 years of European Dark Ages while the Islamic world laid the groundwork for modern math and science and art. Too bad the Crusaders came along and burned all those advances to the ground while slaughtering all the Jews, Muslims, and other infidels they could find during their days of plunder. I bet history would have been written a little differently if the civilized society of the age had won.
thanks for the history lesson
"1095 A.D. The First Crusade" Thanks for making my point. The Christians launched the First Crusade in 1095 C.E., whether in response to whatever aggression or not. You're dealing in semantics. Regardless of who "started" it ("Mommy, Johnny hit me first!"), the main point is that millions of people have died throughout history in the name of organized religion, everyone certain that God is on their side. The Catholic Church has a lot of blood on its hands.
As far as "leave the poor Catholics alone," when was the last time someone tried to convert people to atheism by the sword? Only people who believe in religion are so sure of their point of view that they're willing to kill for it or on its behalf. Those of you who are SO sure that you're brand of religion is the only way to salvation - seems your "loving" God is dooming the vast majority of humanity to eternal hellfire because they don't believe t
cs...
634 A.D. Muslim invasion of Byzantine Christian Empire
634 A.D. Muslim invasion of Palestine
650 A.D. Muslim invasion of Khazar
652 A.D. Muslim invasion of Southern Italy
700 A.D. Muslim invasion of Nubia
711 A.D. Mulsim invasion of South-west Europe
846 A.D. Mulsim Saracen sacking of Rome
1064 A.D. Muslim invasion of West Asia
1095 A.D. The First Crusade
What jacked up version of history are YOU reading.
Ed!
Way off topic, sorry, but I think the wager can be boiled down to two ancient religions only. Muhammed did his work in the 600's A.D. I would not believe in a god who waited that late in human history to speak. To me, it goes back to when did the religion start? The ancient pantheism quite resembled Hinduism today. Buddhism came out of Hinduism. The other truly ancient religion was Judaism. Christianity came out of Judaism. So . . . I would wager, if there is a god, he is either to be found in Hinduism/Buddhism (many gods) or Judaism/Christianity (one god).
I have found my comfort and truth in Christianity. You, of course, are free to find comfort and truth, either one, neither one, or both, wherever you choose to go. This conversation is extremely interesting, though. Cheers, MGM
why does everyone want
Why does everyone want to tell everyone else how to live? Why can't people mind their own business, and deal with their own issues in life?
Mary...
“Either we believe or we don't”
I have no problem with you quoting anyone, but your point can be boiled down to a version of Pascal’s wager and is also subject to it's flaws. The part of your statement above, is the reason why any form of his wager will not work. You are only counting two points of view and we all know of the multitudes of views throughout history. Pascal would probably not have been able to include a third view such as Islam, Shintoism or Buddhism because for one, it would negate his point, and two, it would probably be heresy to admit that there are other points of view concerning God. But, then again, Martin Luther did say that logic and reason have no place in the church.
Pascal (Ed Baskins)
Ed, we *all* quote from others in a debate such as this. Some of us realize that and some of us think that we have had original ideas, but *all* of this has been said before. And will be said again. Either we believe or we don't--I don't think many people are persuaded to change their minds by posts in a newspaper forum, but something might make us think and read a bit more . . . Cheers, MGM
P.S. If there truly are any *primary source* historians in this discussion, my apologies to them. I am assuming most of us have just read someone else's work on these topics.
It's no body's business
Gees! We are such a judgemental society, and totally intolerant of people who aren't carbon copies of what you see when you look in the mirror. For God sakes, leave this woman alone and let her live her life as she chooses. Stop trying to tell everyone else how to live.
You got it backwards....
The Catholic Church came fully into being on the day of Pentecost when, according to scriptural accounts, the apostles emerged from hiding following the death of Jesus to preach and spread His message. According to church tradition, the apostles traveled to northern Africa, Asia Minor, Arabia, Greece, and Rome to found the first Christian communities. Historians believe that over 40 such communities were established by the year 100. From the first century, the Church of Rome was recognized as a doctrinal authority because it was believed that the Apostles Peter and Paul had led the Church there. The Eastern(Orthodox)church split from the Western(Catholic)Church in 1054. Through Apostolic succession, the Catholic Church believes itself to be the continuation of the Christian community founded by Jesus in his consecration of Saint Peter.
C.B.
The Crusades were started by the Muslims? What jacked up version of history do you read?
Mary
When I read the article, I didn't get that she was a local around here, but in Richmond. She may read the Richmond paper, but not necessarily this one. Also, I can't imagine that anything typed here she hasn't already heard in person.
It's not just attacks on religion, it's also attacks on those that don't believe in what someone else doesn't believe in. I have found that those who follow Christianity are relentless and won't leave you alone until you cave in.
"...If there is a God....." I don't believe there is one diety called "god" I believe that god is a word to describe that which we don't understand like another poster mentioned earlier.
"*them* sending someone to hell" It's their religion that states they will go to hell - my point is that so many people seem so uptight about it and will stop at nothing to "save" you.
"...God said "Whosoever will may come . . ." ...." Yeah, so you can be an athiest