Oh God, its’ true! I have agoraphobia. When I was diagnosed with agoraphobia a few years back I thought the doctor was nuts. So okay, I have little anxiety fits when I’m in the back of a Wal-Mart. Then again, who doesn’t?

First of all, you can’t see outside all the way back there. Parking is a pain. And the lines are like those at an amusement park. If you can get in and out in less than 1 hour they should give you a gold star.

I would be shopping and all of a sudden I couldn’t breathe. My heart raced. I got sweaty and hot. I wanted to throw up and then things would start spinning and I’d go running. Everyone looking at me like I just stole something. (For the record, when you have a hot flash and start sweating, people also look at you as if you did something wrong.)

I had finally decided that my doctor was crazy, that is, until today. I am suppose to go to an open house for my son’s new school. Just the thought of it was making me had an anxiety attack and reaching for the Xanax. At first I thought it was because, it’s school. After all, who looks back on high school and says “Yeah. Those were fun times.” Almost no one.

Then I started thinking about when I have doctor appointments, I have the same kind of attacks. When I have a meeting, same kind of attacks. Just getting my hair done, same kind of attacks. “Oh God! I actually, truly have agoraphobia!” How? Why?

I just thought I had commitment issues. Actually, I still think I do, but we’ll explore that another day.

For today, I’m freaking about going back to high school. I freaking about there being lots of people. I’ll be in a controlled environment. I won’t know where I am during the tour. Thank God I have l lots of Xanax.