Crash course in American culture for foreign visitors

By Kathy Adams

NORFOLK

Since coming to Norfolk 10 weeks ago, Fouad El Kassis has studied joint war-fighting and international security. He's also eaten apple pie and attended his first baseball game, complete with beer and hot dogs.

Norfolk's Joint Forces Staff College provided the military education. Ellie Costulis provided the culture.

El Kassis is a colonel in the Lebanese army, and Costulis, a retired Old Dominion University administrator, is his community sponsor. She's part of a group of volunteers that the college relies on to give the officers a crash course in American daily life.

For Costulis, who has sponsored two students, this means shopping excursions, dinners at her home and Tides games. She sees it as an opportunity to learn more about other countries while helping others.

"It's a wonderful program," she said, because "the military officers get firsthand experience of American family life."

She asked to host a student from an Arab country because she hopes to learn Arabic as her fifth language.

During dinner at Costulis' Newport News home one Sunday, El Kassis started her lessons, teaching her how to say "coffee." He brought along Lt. Col. Sergiu Casapciuc, from Moldova. As they sipped coffee and ate apple pie a la mode, they chatted about their families, sports and their home countries.

"It's very good that there's such a setup for foreigners," Casapciuc said. It allows us "to get more inside of American culture, to have an opportunity to come to somebody's house and to see how the culture works."

A Norfolk family sponsors Casapciuc and has taken him fishing and to eat seafood.

During the 10-week joint war-fighting course, unaccompanied officers from the United States and abroad live in townhomes on the college campus. They usually leave their families back home because the college does not offer family housing.

Having someone local to show them around helps ease homesickness and overcome the challenges of driving, shopping and otherwise adjusting to life in a foreign country, especially in a large city like Norfolk, El Kassis said.

"You don't know how to act, what to do," he said. "It's very important to have someone on the side to help you."

For the sponsors, the program is an opportunity to be a goodwill ambassador for the United States, said Catherine Dakin, a spokeswoman for the Joint Forces Staff College international student office.

That's why Suffolk teacher Youlander Hilton got involved several years ago. She currently sponsors an officer from Kenya.

"It seemed like a good opportunity to learn more about international culture and also just to share my knowledge and almost to be like a diplomat, a little ambassador," she said.

"My oldest son had served two tours in Iraq, and he was over in Germany before that," Hilton added. "When my son was overseas, hopefully someone was helping him, taking him to dinner, showing him around."

When the 28 international officers in this class graduate Friday alongside about 220 of their American counterparts, they'll leave with a better understanding of how to work with other militaries. They'll also take home lifelong friendships formed with their community sponsors.

Costulis said she still receives Christmas cards and photos from the last student she sponsored, an officer from Croatia. She hopes she and El Kassis also will keep in touch.

"To get to know an American family... and see how they live every day really does leave a lasting impression on the officer," Dakin said. "Oftentimes the friendships that are built through the community sponsors program are invaluable and last a lifetime."

Kathy Adams, (757) 446-2583, kathy.adams@pilotonline.com