Tell Shakespeare he can relax

Hey didn't everyone die in the first one?

No matter. "Hamlet 2" is not actually a sequel. (Bill Shakespeare might have done more than just roll over in his tomb if that were the case).

This irreverent, uneven comedy is about an inept high school drama teacher who decides to do a musical that includes the song "Rock Me Sexy Jesus" and some other would-be outrageous things. (It would truly be outrageous if someone booked the way-too-familiar "Jesus Christ Superstar" for another run.)

It's strange that a British satirist would be teaching high school in Tucson, Ariz., but that is where we find failed actor Dana Marschz (Steve Coogan).

The frantic Marschz specializes in doing his own scripts based on popular movies. He's doing "Erin Brockovich." Last year, he did "Mississippi Burning." The high school critic, who looks all of 12 years old, rightfully lambasts the productions. (Critics serve an honorable purpose, don't they?)

In an offhanded nod to all those "inspirational" teacher movies, Marschz decides to put Hamlet into a travel machine, bring back all the characters and, this time, let them live. There are references to "Mr. Holland's Opus" and "Dead Poets Society" - cliches of lofty teachers who teach urban kids about life, and always learn themselves.

"Hamlet 2" is a tribute to all those actors who love what they're doing but aren't very good at it. It's not nearly as good as Christopher Guest's "Waiting for Guffman," but it occasionally hits the funny bone.

"Hamlet 2," though, wavers when it gets away from the school. At home, Marschz has an alcoholic wife who is obsessed with getting pregnant. She is played, well enough, by Catherine Keener. (I can't quite figure out why critics go ga-ga every time this actress sneezes. She and Jennifer Jason Leigh should go stand in the corner reserved for the most overpraised.)

David Arquette plays, with very few lines, the guy who hangs around the house and eventually steals the wife.

Getting an award as the best sport should be the likable Elisabeth Shue, who is billed under her own name as a former actress who has gotten out of the business to become a nurse. Shue was an Academy Award nominee for "Leaving Las Vegas" (1995) and, like the character she plays, has not had great success lately. She talks to the drama class and smiles a lot.

When the play gets protests, the ACLU shows up to fight censorship. When someone asks if the play is actually any good, it is quite correctly pointed out that "it's irrelevant."

When the play within the movie surfaces, in the last 30 minutes, it can't possibly be as hilariously bad as we'd imagined, but it serves. A gay men's chorus sings Elton John's "Someone Saved My Life Tonight," and Hamlet flies through the air.

The idea of a musical "Hamlet" is not at all original. Do you remember that Gower Champion directed "Rock-a-Bye Hamlet" on Broadway in 1976? It ran for just two weeks and starred Meat Loaf. That sounds funnier than this, but one supposes we'll have to take the "Hamlet" that's available.

In the words of the troubled Dane himself: Though this be madness, yet there is method to it. Yeah, but not much method.

"Hamlet 2" is largely a series of one-liners searching for a movie. Many of them, though, are knee-slapping hilarious.

Mal Vincent, (757) 446-2347, mal.vincent@pilotonline.com