Phelps' SNL performance did not go swimmingly

A few random observations - and a little nitpicking - about the sports and personalities I see on my TV:

- Suffice it to say, Michael Phelps was a fish out of water on "Saturday Night Live." Judge for yourself, but Time Magazine rates his performance the 10th worst by a guest host in the long history of the show (worst-ever honors go to another Olympian, Nancy Kerrigan in 1994).

Reading cue cards does not come as naturally to Phelps as the backstroke, but NBC isn't complaining. The show was the most-watched SNL since Dec. 17, 2002. The big splash made by Tina Fey impersonating Sarah Palin is thought to have had a little something to do with that.

- We all could use a little comic relief. I get mine when play-by-play announcers characterize any pass a defensive player deflects, slaps down or sometimes gets only two fingers on as "nearly intercepted." This has been going on for so long that, for me, it's become a cue to laugh out loud.

- A phrase already heard too often on college football broadcasts this season - "young freshman." Is there any other kind?

- The point of a TV program, I thought, was to connect with the TV audience, but taking pre- and post-game football shows to outside

venues only invites distractions for viewers. Whether it's ESPN's "GameDay" or Comcast SportsNet's "Postgame Live" Redskins show, crowd noise and windy conditions often interfere with the ability of the analysts to get their points across. Loud-mouth drunks competing with on-air panelists may be somebody's idea of good TV, but the first responsibility should be to the people at home.

- Perspective is always welcome, so kudos to former linebacker and "Postgame Live" contributor LaVar Arrington for noting after the Redskins' victory over New Orleans that the Saints were "depleted" by injuries, proving that it's possible to support your team without going in the tank.

- Television - and the print media, as well - continues to get it wrong when it describes an open date on an NFL team's schedule as a "bye" week. "Bye" is a word used in reference to tournaments in which a team or competitor automatically advances to the next round without playing. NFL teams are simply taking the week off. They aren't advancing, just resting.

- The Cowboys' victory over the Eagles on Monday Night Football was watched in almost 13 million homes, the biggest audience in cable TV history. But the best news for ESPN viewers was the absence from the booth of a drop-in celebrity. By popular demand, ESPN has dumped that annoying segment from its broadcasts.

- Speaking of gimmicks that are well past their shelf life, isn't it about time ESPN sacked Hank Williams Jr.'s stale, hackneyed musical intro to MNF? The song's premise has always been stupid - what is it that all Hank's rowdy friends are getting together to do? Watch a game on TV? Oh, how wickedly rowdy that is.

- "Going forward," a new catch phrase favored by TV talking heads and corporate types, is making its way into sportscasting; Mike Tirico used it during the Eagles-Cowboys game. "Going forward," often followed by the words "into the future" (can you go forward into the past?) adds to the catalogue of empty, irritating buzz words people use for no discernible reason. I'm now going forward to the end of this column.

Bob Molinaro, (757) 446-2373, bob.molinaro@pilotonline.com