©
By Duane Bourne
CHESAPEAKE
How's this for punishment?
Trenton O'Neal stood near a light pole at the intersection of Airline Boulevard and Ahoy Drive in Chesapeake for hours on Saturday, a chest-to-trunk poster board of his bad grades dangling from his neck.
"It sucks," said Trenton, who apparently got the message. "I don't want to be out here again. I know that much."
His parents, fed up by their son's lack of effort, conjured up the idea as a way to get through to the 15-year-old Western Branch High School freshman.
"He hadn't been trying at all," said the Rev. Donald General Jr., pastor of Perfecting Saints Church of God in Christ in Virginia Beach. "He's not even handing in work he does when we supervise him. My wife and I are not going to give up on Tre."
General and his wife, Tanyeil, say there is no excuse for lousy grades, especially since they said they both have several academic degrees.
Fiata Jones stopped by the corner and told the Generals she thought the punishment was proper.
"These kids need to take their grades more seriously," said Jones, whose daughter attends Western Branch. "This has a serious impact and should make other kids think, 'Wow, I don't want my mama doing that.' "
Before Trenton was allowed to put down the sign around 2 p.m., he was greeted by an eighth-grader whose father pulled up in a car.
"What's up, Tre?" the boy said. "They got you out here."
Before Trenton could respond, the boy's father chimed in from the vehicle.
"You want to be beside him?" the man said. "Good. Now, get in the car."
Duane Bourne, (757) 222-5150, duane.bourne@pilotonline.com
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Fast Forward
After seeing what Mr. General (my former boss, by the way) did to his son, my son, who had a report card like Tre's, is now 1 point away in 1 class from having an honor roll report card. He didn't want to be out there with a sandwich board!
Hypocrite
"comments are full of "shame.. .." subtext",
Shame on me! LOL!
If someone feels shame from my comments, then that comes from within. I'm just restating what many years of research has already said. I didn't expect that people who disagree with me would feel any shame because they believe what they want to believe. But now that you mention it, maybe people should be ashamed of themselves if they don't educate themselves a little instead of mocking the importance of self esteem in child development because it's easy and the popular thing to do. I would think that they'd care enough about their own children to put more weight on actual research rather than the incorrect opinions of the average redneck.
MT3
Your comments are full of "shame, shame, shame" subtext, too, against those who disagree with you.
I really wish everyone around didn't use shame on other people. It rarely changes behavior. However, these folks in the article are the parents and perhaps they know their son better than we do???
"I have a teenager of my own
"I have a teenager of my own and if his next report card looks like this one did, then on April 25th, you'll see him on the corner of Princess Anne and Dam Neck Roads, sandwich board in hand."
So what you're really saying is, "even parenthood can't break the pattern of laziness that was first apparent when I was in school."
Shame is only effective in breaking them down. Low-class solutions like this are indicative of the parent's laziness and ultimate failure than the child's. They are what YOU made them.
Why not actually do some homework yourself and seek some more constructive ways to handle your kids that will actually work?
Why?
When I was his age (20 years ago), I did the same thing. IF I did the homework, I would often not turn it in. My grades suffered for it. When asked why I did it, I replied with the answer that has confounded parents for years, including myself, "I don't know." I saw a few different doctors and was never diagnosed, thankfully, with having ADD or ADHD. I should have been diagnosed with being a hard-headed teenager who needed a swift boot to the rear. I have a teenager of my own and if his next report card looks like this one did, then on April 25th, you'll see him on the corner of Princess Anne and Dam Neck Roads, sandwich board in hand.
Politically correct to avoid uptight moderation again... Jeez..
Why would an otherwise normal student not turn in homework that was already done? It doesn't make sense. I would hope these parents ruled out learning disabilities or AD/HD with a professional before subjecting the kid to humiliation or shame-based punishment which, incidentally, is proven not to work. But, don't take my word for it, feel free to look it up.
Those of you who agree with this "punishment" without question have, most ironically, ignored medical research done by doctors who probably made good grades. The immediate knee-jerk reaction based entirely on a cultural meme with no basis in fact and perpetuated by ignorance is indicative of the very "laziness" that you think this kid should be punished for.
You have passed harsh judgment before you even did your homework. Maybe the lot of you need to be standing on the street with your own signs?
I didn't say they shouldn't
I didn't say they shouldn't have the authority to do *anything* in response to his grades. I am talking about the specific thing that they are doing. Do they really think that when someone doesn't succeed, the specifics of their failure should be posted publicly? Then they shouldn't be hypocrites. If they realize that it wouldn't be helpful or healthy for the specifics of their own failures to be posted publicly, they should realize that the same applies to this young man.
As an aside, I hope they're prepared to *never* see their grandchildren. I wouldn't blame him a bit if he never wants to have anything to do with his parents ever again.
Devrock
You just showed us the classic argument for bucking authority, in all its splendor. It goes, "You can't be an authority in my life because you are also a fallible human being . . ." Problem is, we need authority in our lives, esp when we are young and . . . everyone else *is* a fallible human being. So . . . turns out sometimes we just need to obey our parents or do what our boss asks just because it is the right thing to do, not because we think they are perfect people. The world goes around pretty well that way!
Academics.
Why would a "normal" student not turn in homework that was already done? It doesn't make sense. I would hope these parents with "academic" degrees ruled out learning disabilities or AD/HD with a professional before subjecting the kid medieval-style public humiliation.
Don't get me wrong, I'd love to see a few brats I know subjected to the same thing but the fact is that this kind of punishment doesn't work and can make things worse, especially if the kid has an undiagnosed condition. "Academic" people wouldn't just dismiss years of real scientific research so the kid must be a d-bag and really deserve it.
The problem is that clergy only know how to raise daughters properly. Any guy who's dated one for an hour knows exactly what I mean... Oh, my.. GOD!
If this doesn't work I suggest the stocks and handing out rotten tomatoes to people who pass. Let the community participate!
Train up a child in the way they should go!!!!`
I know Paster General and he's doing it the right way. There's nothing wrong with his son, how I know...because he keeps calling my daughter. And they both are getting bad grades. Normal kids, sometimes go against the grain. And this is parental method is called "Standards and Ethics". No matter how you see it. If you want your child to be a failure...go for it. But I believe what was done is right. It's not abuse or cruel punishment, but this is Love and Kindness, that these parents are getting down to business and letting their child know "Whatever you do in life, there are consequences." If more parents step up to the plate and be the parent GOD called them to be, our children would succeed in being a positive member to this society. Parents are held accountable for the actions of their children until that child turns 18. I bet, Tre' will never bring home nothing but A's and B's. And I'm saying this and I mean it. My Daughter is next!!! April 2010 you will see a beautiful young lady standing on the corners of Kempsville and Volvo pkwy.,.if she comes home with a report card like that. I am very well educated in Psychology and Criminal Justice. Enough is Enough! childr