VIRGINIA BEACH
At New Light Full Gospel Baptist Church, congregants' benchmark on most topics is "the Word," meaning the Bible.
But on a recent night, more than 50 New Light adults and teens opened up to words from an additional source - Planned Parenthood, on stopping teen pregnancy.
Among many faith-based groups, few organizations are less popular than Planned Parenthood, a provider of women's health services, sex education and abortions.
Yet on this night, teen pregnancy was something Planned Parenthood speaker Margie Rashti and New Light members all agreed was troubling and preventable.
"We come together as a team, working to try to pass down wisdom to the young ladies and young men who are part of this pandemic we call teen pregnancy," Elder Frankie Fells said in his opening prayer.
New Light is among about a half-dozen local churches where Planned Parenthood of Southeastern Virginia has provided health information, said Erin Zabel, the group's spokesperson.
However, that doesn't mean those churches see eye-to-eye with Planned Parenthood on everything.
"I'm not advocating for Planned Parenthood one way or the other," said Robin Patrick, New Light's Youth Enrichment Program leader. "We're not advocating any one procedure; we're not advocating birth control."
But she said information from Planned Parenthood could help New Light families worried about teen pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.
"I want people to understand what is out there in the community, what options they have " Patrick said. "I want them to have informed choices."
Zabel said church invitations to the local Planned Parenthood ticked up just in the last year. She is also trying to form a clergy board that would collaborate with and advise Planned Parenthood.
There are already 40 to 50 clergy boards elsewhere in the country working with Planned Parenthood chapters, said Tom Davis, who formerly led the national clergy advisory board advising the organization.
Davis said that some of Planned Parenthood's strongest supporters belong to faith-based groups, including mainline Protestant and Jewish denominations.
He also acknowledged there is strong opposition from other faith-based groups, including Catholics and Southern Baptists.
In Virginia, the opponents include the Virginia Catholic Conference and the Family Foundation, which often reflects evangelical Christian viewpoints.
Jeff Caruso, the Catholic group's executive director, said Planned Parenthood collided with Catholic teachings by providing abortions and contraceptives.
He criticized Planned Parenthood for supporting abstinence as just one way of avoiding teen pregnancies.
"When you talk about abstinence on the one hand and then spend a lot of time talking about contraceptives, that undermines the positive message on abstinence," he said.
Victoria Cobb, the Family Foundation's president, said in a news release last year that Planned Parenthood wanted to end sexual abstinence education in schools and that abortion was its " No. 1 goal."
Cobb stated that Planned Parenthood's sex education program, "we believe, results in more kids engaging in risky behaviors, more sexually transmitted diseases among our teenagers, more teenage pregnancy and yes, more abortions - from which they profit."
At the New Light evening dubbed "Teen Pregnancy: Dreams Deferred," about 40 adults and 15 teens listened to Rashti, an unpaid Planned Parenthood volunteer from Norfolk.
Her goal for the evening, she said, was to talk about talking about sex.
"Teens really want this information from their parents. Parents want to give it. But it's really scary - they're afraid what they say may be misinterpreted," Rashti said.
Prompting, questioning, sharing, Rashti drew adults and youth into the ticklish discussion.
To parents, she asked, "If you could say one thing to kids on sex, what would it be?"
"Wait!" someone said.
"I like that, wait," Rashti said. "The longer you wait and the more knowledge you have, the safer you're going to be."
One teen said he'd been unsure how to respond when urged by a schoolmate to arbitrarily "do" a girl - that is, have sex. "How do you say 'no' in the right way?" he said.
A girl said she didn't know what to say to a friend who was sexually active even after an abortion. Rashti said the friend should see a school counselor.
Throughout the evening, Rashti never mentioned abortion and made only passing reference to condoms.
But she made clear there are a variety of options for potentially sexually active people.
"The big controversy is, we don't do abstinence only - we do abstinence, and...," she said of Planned Parenthood's message. "We promote abstinence. But we also recognize you need the information to protect yourself.
"We also know that having the information does not make you have more sex - actually, the opposite," Rashti added. She said teens postpone sex on their own when they realize the emotional demands of sexual intimacy.
She said families and even churches should provide places or programs where sharing concerns around sex would be comfortable for youth and parents. "We need that social, religious and emotional help to give our teenagers the information that will protect them," Rashti said.
Afterward, 16-year-old Demetrus Leslie said he felt encouraged to talk about sex with his parents. "It was very educating, with a lot of stuff I didn't know," he said.
A sampling of teens and adults yielded no one critical of what Rashti shared - or the propriety of talking about sex, condoms, masturbation and pregnancy in a church.
"Yes, it is fit talk, it should be fit talk, because you're trying to save a generation," said Bernina Young, who came with her 15-year-old son. "Even in the Word it tells us about saving the next generation."
Fells, a father and grandfather, also praised Rashti's talk.
"I think this is what these kids needs to hear; it's exactly what they need to hear," he said. "It's better to talk about it in the house of God than to have them talk about it with somebody on the street."
Steven G. Vegh, (757) 446-2417, steven.vegh@pilotonline.com
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mary
Are you still talking about sex ed. or is this drifting off into other topics?
Tommy Girl
I believe there are some incredible single moms and single dads out there, but, to me, the best combination of all is a home with an incredible mom *and* an incredible dad, both in residence. If you define a family differently than that, or think that all varieties of home are equally good, God bless you, but I don't agree. I think two parents are the maximal situation!!!
going out on a limb
I know I'm going out on a limb here, but after all this is an opinion forum, so here it goes. It is my opinion that the majority of teens across the U.S. are NOT taugh sex ed at home, by the very people (their parents), that should be teaching this life altering education.
That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.
Planned Parenthood in churches
How sad were the words in "Babies Having Babies" comment. As a Christian and one who counsels all ages of women in sexual integrity, I found your words to be attacking. Many of these girls that have teen pregnancies DO infact come from good homes with amazing role models. Who are you to judge who does and does not have respect for ones self? Many of these women go on to have amazing futures and become incredible mothers themselves. Many churches ARE proactive and ARE doing more than just "preaching" as you refer to it.
"Welfare State"??? Wow. It is the mind set like yours that does not have enough open mindedness to give these girls/women credit where credit is due. I'll keep you in my prayers.
mary
For the most part, every thing I've read and heard sex education is not a subject that is dealt with at home as it really should be or that we would hope for. Granted, what I've heard may be wrong, and I hope you are right that the issue has become a more home based subject.
Gertz Point
How do "we all know" the talk on sex is not happening in the homes?
It is, in the homeschooling homes we interact with and in the private school homes, too. We don't expect someone else to teach our kids about sex when they are homeschooled or privately schooled.
whatever it takes
If churches want Planned Parenhood to join their effort then they should, but it's a subject that should begin at home. Sadly, we all know for the most part that's not the case. I would hope that future generation would find it more comfortable to talk about sex ed. to their kids. We can only hope!
Good work Margie
This is such an important article. Although most our children have been taught abstinence, we can only hope they will actually refrain from having sex. Wise parents understand that information is crucial and our children will make better decisions if we are able to talk about this delicate subject.
I applaud Margie for working to connect through area churches and particularly for being very respectful of each church's values. She is a wonderful lady with an important mission -- education!
I applaud those churches that are thinking a little out of the box. It is time for we adults to stop pretending that our children will always do "what's right." The rate of teen pregnancy is giving us but a glimpse of what the future holds if we don't tackle this issue.
Babies Having Babies
The young girls who want babies will continue to have them. They will have them because they do not have proper role models in their community; they do not have respect for themseves as individuals; they do not have expectations for their future or for the future of their child. They are the products of the "Welfare State", and they are here to stay. There are others who want to break the mold, who do have hope, who do have goals. These programs are to help them. We need to encourage and educate these people whenever and wherever we can!Planned Parenthood is to be commended for the fine job that it has done and continues to do, especially when faced with many close-minded religious organizations. I am pleased to see that some churches are being pro-active and doing more than just preaching.
Hooray for the church!
As a young woman, I knew better than to have sex before marriage but I did it anyway. The child I conceived is now 37 years old. Teens do need to hear about sex. My parents did not talk to me. Not all parents feel comfortable. I did talk with my children. All of them are now married and not one was pregnant or had gotten their wives pregnant before marriage. I did not them want to start off a marriage with a new baby here or on the way. Marriage is hard enough to handle. I think it is great that both the church and Planned Parenthood are working together. I am totally opposed to abortion but it does take place. Teens need to know about them because of all of the baggage they will be carrying for the rest of their lives knowing they had killed a part of themselves, a child. The father of my first child (and all of the others) and I have been married for 38 years. It is not easy but we've managed. What these teens learned in that church setting is much better than what they are going to hear from most of their friends. The friends their age that may be able to tell them something important are the ones that "have been there; done that" and want to help their friends not do what they
The fox is in the hen house
Planned Parenthood has a vested interest in keeping the status quo to their benefit. What better way than to infiltrate the churches and force the issue of morality out of the picture. Here's another problem: the more you talk and teach about sex, the more of it you get! Even if you talk about abstinence you'll get more non-abstinence action. The talk itself is titillating, especially to guys. Talking about sex in an open discussion is counter-productive; this is an area that generally should be privately discussed with parents. Don't put gas on a fire.
Society Mores
I remember my G'Mother and her Mother saying that in their youth girls that were not married by 16 were considered Old maids; many were married at 14 and some even younger.
The current Teenagers are simply following an old path that existed ages ago as normal.
Not giving kids Information that would protect them from unwanted Pregnancies in this day and time is a sure fire way to have many more Unwanted Teen Age Pregnancies!
It is inconceivable but there are many in today's society that actually want the Kids to fall into the trap of Pregnancy because of lack of knowledge.
How sad.
Fix Our Culture, Not the Kids
Talk to these girls and get to know them, and you will realize that they know exactly what they are doing. All of them want babies but we now live in a divergent culture that for the first time in history prohibits this. Look at motherhood from 100 years ago and you probably will realize that they frequently were married and having babies as early as fourteen, rarely going past the 8th grade, and they married older guys. Were they financially independent? No, but that is what extended families were for. And the marriages lasted a lifetime. Fix our culture, not these young girls. Yes, they need higher education, and we need to accommodate them without making them feel like second class citizens who deviated from our modern, deviant norms about marriage and parenthood. The young fathers need help too, and everything must be done to strengthen their relationship with the girl and the baby.
It seems ----
That anytime our young people can have factually based information to help them make informed decisions is a very good thing. Abstinence doesn't work well and never has. Peer pressure and mis-information to a truly uninformed young person is a disaster waiting to happen. Parents can't control there kids every move. They can only teach and then hope they have been effective. Effective factual based teaching, not hiding from the issue, will have positive results.