Twitter's on its way to being the love beads of technology

Twitter is dead.

Or at least on life support.

Ignore the pundits and pop culture vultures who've suddenly discovered Twitter. It is destined to become the leg warmer of the Internet.

How do I know this? Because I just joined Twitter. By the time I find a fad, it's over.

Outside of attending a Bruce Springsteen concert in 1973 - yes, you read that correctly, I was a toddler - I have never once been ahead of the curve.

I first heard of Twitter last summer as a few of us from The Pilot were leaving to cover the national political conventions.

"You all ought to think about Twittering while you're out there," our online guru chirped.

We exchanged glances. Rolled our eyes. Heaved dramatic sighs.

"Twittering?" one of us snickered. "That's for jerks too busy to e-mail."

We had plenty to keep us busy. They wanted us to Twitter, too?

If I had known then what I know now, I would have Twittered myself to death in Denver and St. Paul. Those conventions were loaded with little moments that lent themselves perfectly to amusing political haikus.

That's what Twittering is, really. Recording history as it happens in 140 characters or less.

Let's assume for a moment you're not one of the 6 million people on the planet who are Twittering. Twitter is simply a social network that lets members broadcast short, snappy messages to fellow Twitterers. The messages are called Tweets.

Truth is, it takes discipline and skill to communicate in such short space. To work, Tweets must be brief and to the point.

Frankly, most Twitterers aren't very good at it. Their Tweets are sad installments on their dull lives.

Feeding the hamster. Taking out the trash. Heading to bed.

Now get a load of this one:

Going to the White House tomorrow for a meeting about the economy (which must mean they're *really* out of ideas). What should I tell them?

That's from Evan Williams, the CEO of Twitter. Unconcerned with etiquette, Williams Twittered throughout Friday's meeting as various "experts" spoke.

"Deflation is a much bigger worry than inflation." Really?

Notice how "really" drips with cynicism. Williams knows his Tweets.

Yes, Twitter is a toy for the narcissistic. But it's also a way to share information and peek into lives.

Ashton Kutcher Twitters. So do Tina Fey and Tony Hawk. NBC's David Gregory is tireless. The president has a Twitter account. His last post was sent Jan. 19, the day before the inauguration.

My Twittering goal? To be as good as Portsmouth police Officer Scott White, who's been posting daily for about 15 months and has more than 900 folks following his Tweets.

It ought to come naturally. Many have called me a twit.

Turns out, they were right.

Kerry Dougherty, (757) 446-2306, kerry.dougherty@cox.net