Even in death, Mexicans in U.S. still feel call of home

Santos Dominguez doesn't think much about dying. After all, he's just 28, and there's nothing perilous about being a waiter at the Guadalajara Mexican restaurant at 509 Hilltop Plaza in Virginia Beach.

But if he dies suddenly, Dominguez knows where he wants to be buried: back home in Mexico, where his family is. "They would like to have my body, my whole body," he said. "I know my mother would."

Family, culture and love of country constantly tug at the hearts of many Mexicans overseas, and years laboring in the United States can't dull the yearning for Mexico to be their final resting place.

"Most immigrants are here because of economic reasons, and many want to return home someday, even if it is in a coffin," said Janice Sigala, who heads the Hispanic ministry at St. Gregory the Great Catholic Church. "I had a family take back a young man who lived most of his life here and barely remembered Mexico."

Mexico is the top destination for bodies repatriated overseas by Altmeyer Funeral Home in Virginia Beach, said Chris Sisler, who oversees Altmeyer's funeral homes in Virginia. "Being born and raised there, they want to go back home," he said of Mexican clients.

Sisler said the Virginia Beach funeral home averages 10 to 12 repatriations a year to Mexico, working with families to satisfy state, federal and Mexican requirements. The deceased also must be embalmed to meet airline rules.

The attachment of Mexicans to their homeland - even in death - is so strong that "Mexico Lindo y Querido" - 'Beautiful and Beloved Mexico' - is the nation's unofficial anthem, said Jose Gonzalez, a Regent University teacher from Uruguay.

The song is known throughout the Spanish-language world, he said.

"The chorus says, 'Let them say that I am asleep and bring me back here to my beloved Mexico if I die away from you,' " Gonzalez said.

Beatriz Amberman, a leader among local Mexicans, said "Cancion Mixteca," or "Song Mixteca," also pulls the emotions of Mexicans working abroad.

The famous song's lament, "How far I am from the land where I was born," usually sets Mexican expatriates singing, or crying. "It's something that makes people sad in spite of the fact they may have friends in America," Amberman said.

Like many Mexicans, Dominguez said being buried in Mexico would make it far easier for relatives to visit his grave, including his mother, who lives a block from the local cemetery.

He said his relatives shipped home a cousin killed years ago in a car wreck in the United States.

Dominguez said he wanted to be repatriated the same way, " but I can't control it if they decide I have to stay here because there's no money to send me there."

Cost is the big hitch to repatriating bodies. Martin Javier Solis, 43, another Mexican-born waiter at Guadalajara, said he's heard that funeral home services, air shipping and other transportation expenses can easily hit $10,000 - out of reach for family survivors.

That's when other Mexicans reach for their wallets to chip in.

At Jessy's, a Mexican store and restaurant on East Ocean View Avenue in Norfolk, manager Jorge Romero said he's put out collection boxes to raise repatriation funds for Mexican workers who died suddenly.

"Every single box that's been put here at the store gets filled up with money," Romero said.

The same generosity is seen at St. Gregory's, which also raises money for repatriation.

Sigala said Hispanics ordinarily don't put a lot in the offering plate, assuming that the government supports the Catholic church, as is true in some Latin nations.

But "money comes from everyone and it is often raised quickly" when the cause is a funeral or sending a body to Mexico, she said.

The Mexican consulate sometimes helps families send deceased loved ones back to Mexico. Sisler said his funeral home also may discount funeral costs in repatriation cases.

While Sigala said many Mexicans prefer only body repatriation, Solis said he wants his ashes sent to Mexico to cut shipping and preparation costs.

"If you don't have the money, the easier way is the crematory," he said.

Though Solis is married and has four daughters living in the United States, he can't think of not being interred outside Mexico. "This is my culture; my family is in Mexico, my brothers and sisters," he said.

Bu t the tradition may depend on exactly where a person calls home.

Romero said he was a teen, living in the United States with his family, when his mother died. After a local funeral, she was repatriated for burial in Mexico.

Romero, who lives in Hampton Roads with Brenda, his wife, said lots of uncles and cousins all live in the United States. He supposes he'll be buried here.

"I guess since most of my family is here already, that would be the best immediate choice: here, where they'd have me close and not have to go to Mexico to leave flowers," he said.

Steven G. Vegh, (757) 446-2417, steven.vegh@pilotonline.com