Gospel of the Lord or Craiglist? You choose

Tough choices this week for local theater fans: the gospel of the Lord, or the gospel of Craigslist? The law of the land, or the law of the jungle?

What?

Philip Ondango came upon the idea for a play about Craigslist in the course of his everyday life.

"As an artist, I'm always on there," he said, "looking for free stuff."

He'd check out the "rants and raves" section, too, then one day came across the "best of" postings and had an idea: He'd write a play using the items on the bulletin board as dialogue. As anyone who's ever been on the Web site could guess, Ondango had to fix some grammar, spelling and punctuation, but he found a funny - and sometimes seedy - mound of material.

"Some of it, I wouldn't be able to come up with it myself."

It's all played out by actors holding puppets, one of whom is named Patti Luporn. "The Gospel According to Craig" plays Friday and Saturday at The Venue on 35th Street in Norfolk. It claims to be a comedy where "Avenue Q" meets "The Vagina Monologues," which must be a pretty strange crossroads.

If you picked gospel of the Lord, that'd be "THE PLAY, The Story of the Man Called Jesus," at the Life Center, Atlantic Shores Baptist Church. "THE PLAY" is a big show, with live animals, first-century costumes, professional ballet, classical and Hebrew music, and it gives attendees a seat in the days of Christ.

The Virginia Beach production opens with the narrator, the disciple John, appearing as if straight off his fishing boat.

"Hello, I'm John," he tells the audience, "Fish? Fresh fish? I've got plenty."

When Jesus feeds the masses fish and loaves of bread, actors wander into the audience and hand out bread.

Robert Klein, who plays Jesus for the 20th year, has performed in several off-Broadway productions and is now a music teacher at Windsor Oaks Elementary. Sue Rowand, publicity director, said "THE PLAY" is so vivid that she doesn't recommend it for children 7 and younger.

"Gross indecency" is the law of the land (in Britain) under which playwright Oscar Wilde was convicted for his affairs with men. It's also the name of an on-going play at the TRDance Center in downtown Norfolk.

The Workshop Theatre Group uses actual trial transcripts from the Victorian government's sexual witch-hunt against Wilde in "Gross Indecency: The Three Trials of Oscar Wilde."

Wilde, of course, is known for his devastating wit in plays like "The Importance of Being Earnest" and was a celebrity in 19th century London. Let's just say that if they had TMZ at the time, Wilde would've been a regular.

The law of the jungle rules at Hampton's American Theatre on Saturday. Theatre IV, which says it's the country's second-biggest performer for young audiences, brings "The Jungle Book" to life through musical adventure.

Hard to believe that characters as entrenched in today's culture as Mowgli, the black panther Bagheera, and Baloo the bear were conjured by Rudyard Kipling in the late 1800s.

We won't spoil the premise of the Generic Theater play "What's Wrong With This Picture?" Let's just say: Somebody who shouldn't be dead is, then somebody who should be dead isn't.

Running from Friday through May 3 in downtown Norfolk, the play by Pulitzer Prize winner Donald Margulies mixes comedy with a serious exploration of life and death.

TCC's theater department offers a new adaptation of Samuel Taylor Coleridge's epic poem "The Rime of the Ancient Mariner."

The college's theater chief, Ed Jacob, directs. He also took on the job of adapting one of literature's greatest poems into a play. The tale of the sailor who courts doom by killing an albatross will be performed Thursday through Saturday at the Roper Performing Arts Center in downtown Norfolk.

Lon Wagner, (757) 446-2341, lon.wagner@pilotonline.com