Nationals' blunders vaults team into a new league - comedy

Over the weekend, it became even clearer why Major League Baseball placed a team in Washington, D.C.

For comic relief.

If not for the unintended humor provided by the Washington Natinals, there would be no reason for them to exist.

Yes, I misspelled the name of the team. But I'm not the first. When Ryan Zimmerman and Adam Dunn took the field Friday night in Washington, written across the front of their uniforms in big block letters was N-A-T-I-N-A-L-S.

The stuff that appears on the Internet.

There's been no explanation that I can find for the missing "o." An honest mistake, no doubt. And in less than 24 hours, the uniform gaffe was eclipsed by an even more absurd incident that added to the perception of the Nationals as a farcical franchise.

On Saturday, outfielder Elijah Dukes was benched, fined $500 and threatened with demotion to the minors after he showed up five minutes late to the stadium.

Not five minutes late for the game. Five minutes after the team's usual reporting time.

And that's not the best part. Dukes, who is enjoying a good start with the bat, came to the park from an appearance at a local Little League function.

He was tardy - by five minutes! - because he was signing autographs for kids.

"He was late for work, he broke a team rule, and we are going to change the culture here - regardless of how well a guy is playing," Nats manager Manny Acta said.

"And it was a bizarre situation, because he was doing something that we encourage our players to do: He was out in the community doing something for some Little League program and just showed up late to work. He was very remorseful about it. He felt bad, but we have to lay the law on whoever."

You can't make up something like this. Acta is right about one thing: It was a bizarre situation. He made sure of that by benching and fining Dukes.

The impact of Acta's dubious decision was also felt by Roger Bernadina, Dukes' replacement, who broke his right ankle after hitting the outfield wall making a running catch. That's not funny, but does reflect on the current state of the franchise.

Zimmerman, the third baseman from Virginia Beach, hit safely in his ninth consecutive game Sunday. But good performances from the Nats' best players are being overshadowed by the club's 1-10 start - and by occasional silliness within the organization.

Just before the Nationals opened their 2009 home schedule against the Phillies, team president Stan Kasten caught flak from fans and media when he went on a Philadelphia radio station and appealed for Phillies fans to come down to Washington to fill the stadium.

With his goofy grandstand play, Kasten apparently embarrassed the Nats' microscopic fan base by blabbing the news that the D.C. metro area won't support its team. As if that's a state secret.

The Natinals and D.C. are a terrible match - a struggling team in a bad baseball market. But together, they provide a service.

When the Expos left Montreal and were homeless - before our nation's capital opened its doors to them - there was strong sentiment in favor of contraction. Eliminating a moribund franchise, went the thinking, would make the sport healthier.

But be thankful MLB didn't take that step. While inside and outside the Beltway, Redskins mini-camps are more avidly anticipated than baseball games, imagine the laughs and titters we'd be denied if the Natinals didn't exist.

Given the usual state of political affairs, how much gloomier a place would Washington be without Major League Baseball's best new comedy club?

Keep in mind, too, it's only April.

 Bob Molinaro, (757) 446-2373, bob.molinaro@pilotonline.com