Oh, boy! Disney teaches China a new lesson

In recent days, many of our nation's greatest minds and precision moral compasses - plus Rush Limbaugh and Dick Cheney - have been debating the propriety of the Bush administration's "enhanced interrogation program."

If, perchance, you'd like a reprieve from parsing and reparsing the merits and demerits of waterboarding, sleep deprivation and inquisition-by-insect, read closely.

May I offer a break from all this tedious talk about U.S. and international law and the Geneva Conventions? May I escort you on a leisurely stroll to a magical kingdom, where dreams are said to come true, where the imagination is the only limit?

To Disney World, of course.

Now I know some of you regard that place as a ghastly form of torture in its own way. There was a time, not so long ago, when I shared this grumpy view.

But a little over a year ago, near the end of a decade of living in Florida, my family and I decided it was time to partake in what many folks deem a quintessential American experience - a pilgrimage to see The Mouse.

To my surprise, I rather liked the place. My wife loathed the long lines, but years of attending marathon government meetings finally paid off for me. I found I was well-prepared to endure long stretches of mind-numbing idleness and keep an eye out for pickpockets.

Our daughter, 9 at the time, thoroughly enjoyed the visit, which was the point of it all.

One of my favorite photos - for which I gladly paid Disney a princely if not charming sum - offers a family tableau. It shows the three of us on the steep, rapid descent of some horrendous ride, the name of which I've forgotten.

There's my little girl, smiling in sheer delight. Next to her is my wife, visibly apprehensive but grinning. And, in front of them, there's my assigned seatmate, a gleeful stranger. And there's me, my eyes closed tight, holding on to the safety bar for dear life.

(In my defense, we'd just rounded two sharp curves that had whipped my neck free of the seat back. As we began our descent, I feared another curve would slap my oversized noggin against a big, fake rock.)

But I had a good time. Photo to prove it.

I bring this up partly, as I said, to serve as a brief diversion from all those unpleasant CIA memos about American dealings abroad. But I also wish to demonstrate - as I report of an unrelated bit of news - that I harbor no animosity for Disney, whiplash aside.

The news is this: Disney has big plans to build schools abroad.

According to The Wall Street Journal, the company has set up schools in Shanghai to teach English to children.

The American titan is grabbing a big pawful of China's foreign-language instruction business, estimated to be worth $2.1 billion a year - and growing. If all goes well, Disney plans to expand to other countries.

As you might have guessed, Disney characters play a major role in the curriculum. The classrooms feature Lilo and Stitch, the gang from "Toy Story" and other favorites.

Good students receive "magic tokens" redeemable for assorted Disney trinkets, many of which are unavailable elsewhere in China.

"We never saw this as an effort to teach the Disney brand and Disney characters," Andy Mooney, chairman of Disney Consumer Products Worldwide, told The Journal. "We set out to teach Chinese kids English."

That's a claim probably best delivered in the Mickster's voice. ("Oh, boy!") It might be more convincing.

At this point, I'm guessing many of you are thinking, "More power to 'em! Soak those commies with cartoons! Just let 'em try to roll over Goofy in Tiananmen Square!"

Indeed, a sugarcoated version of Americana - scripted by Disney imagineers rather than, say, Cheney - might go a long way in the world.

I wish the company well in its ventures. Really, I do.

And I hope the folks at Disney will remember that their dealings with people abroad will leave lasting impressions of what Americans are like and what we value. It's a small world, after all.

Daryl Lease is an editorial writer for The Virginian-Pilot.

E-mail him at daryl.lease@pilotonline.com.