CHESAPEAKE
Pastor Bob Groves stood in front of a packed house - surrounded by his wife, a moderator who flew in from Georgia for the night and two boxes of tissues.
It was the first time Groves had spoken to the whole congregation in nearly two months. He went back to Faith Alive Ministries on Wednesday to apologize for having an affair with a married church staffer.
Groves didn't go into detail, but many church members had heard already. They gave a standing ovation when he returned to the sanctuary stage.
"I sinned," Groves told the audience of roughly 1,500. "Not only did I sin, I sinned a lot and I sinned for a long time."
In May, Groves said he was leaving Faith Alive, a church he led as pastor. It has grown quickly from a dozen members to more than 2,000 - including some high-profile people in the city, such as Mayor Alan Krasnoff, who was among those embracing Groves on Wednesday night.
Now it appears Groves is on track to return to his lead pastor's post.
"Faith Alive, I love you," Groves told the crowd. "And I'm so sorry for what I've done."
Groves, who was raised in Virginia Beach, said he got into drugs and alcohol when he was 13. He straightened his life out after surviving a frightening car crash in 1984.
When he became Faith Alive's lead pastor in 1991, he used a car-sales office as the sanctuary. He wanted to build a church that was open to more of the community's addicts and lost souls.
Earlier this year, the church celebrated the grand opening of an $11 million, 46,000-square-foot sanctuary on Shell Road. The attendees included Pat Robertson, U.S. Rep. Randy Forbes, Del. John Cosgrove and Krasnoff.
Then on May 3, Groves abruptly left. Word about the inappropriate relationship spread around the church community within days.
But on June 17, a letter went out announcing that Groves and his wife would be addressing the church at a special meeting Wednesday. The meeting was moderated by a longtime Faith Alive consultant and a friend of Groves', Jim Chambers.
Chambers is a former pastor who went on to found a consulting group called the Institute for Organizational Leadership. He said he is often called in to help troubled pastors and business managers and said he participates in three or four similar events a year.
"It's been eight weeks, and I still have trouble with this," Chambers told the crowd. "But forgiveness is not optional. What the pastor and his wife have been through is horrible. It was stupid. It should have never happened, and we all know that."
He also urged members to stop gossiping about what happened.
"The text messaging and talking is enough," he said. "We need you to stop. Just stop."
After talking for more than 30 minutes, Chambers called up Groves and his wife.
The crowd stood for minutes when Groves faced the crowd just before 8 p.m.
"I'm nervous," he said.
"We love you, Bob!" someone screamed.
Groves spoke for about 20 minutes, apologizing repeatedly.
"I let a lot of people down," he said. "It's just wrong, what I did."
"Don't allow this to become 'before and after,' " he said. "Don't allow this to become, 'I'm for Bob,' or, 'I'm against Bob.' "
His wife, Shawn, sat behind him in a chair next to the tissue s. She got rousing applause after being handed the microphone. "I love him," she said. "I have loved him since I was 12 years old, and I'm not going to stop."
Toward the end of the service, members surrounded Groves during a final prayer.
"It's what I prayed for," member Jane Caler said of Groves' return to accept responsibility. "All indications are that they can forgive him. Hopefully, he can come back. I believe that's what God would want."
In a separate interview, Chambers said there is "absolutely" a chance that Groves could return as lead pastor within two years after completing what he described as a process for "pastors that have difficulties."
Groves began that process by apologizing to the church council and staff, undergoing marriage counseling and taking full responsibility for his actions, Chambers said. His fate will ultimately be in the hands of the Administrative Bishop for Church of God Virginia.
"What we're all after is for Pastor Bob to come back," Chambers said. "But we don't want that to happen unless his personal life, his spiritual life and his family life are completely healed."
Chambers asked members to pray for both the Groves family and the family of the other staffer involved. She and her husband, also an employee of the church, have "basically disappeared" from Faith Alive, and it's unclear whether they will come back, Chambers said. Both families are receiving financial assistance from the church while they seek marriage counseling, Chambers said.
Mike Saewitz, (757) 222-5207, mike.saewitz@pilotonline.com
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A Long Time Coming
I have to say that this is no surprise to me. Having heard about it only recently, I'm just now able to add this post. My ex-husband and I attended FAM and dearly loved Pastor Bob, the church and the people. The sad thing that I see in this is what has happened to the woman involved. Did the members invite her back with open arms? Why didn't Pastor Bob bring her and her husband forward and ask their forgiveness publicly as well? I suppose, knowing Bobby, he probably did ask. But, my guesses are that no, the church didn't give the woman an ovation. No, they probably haven't welcomed her back with open arms. No, they've most likely not reached out to her to help her heal. Why am I making these assumptions? I was once in her shoes - at this very same church several years ago. And I haven't forgotten how it feels to be shunned while your husband is accepted. The tragedy in all of this is what about her walk with God, her *personal relationship with Jesus Christ*? I walked away from this church and any organized religion because of what happened here to me, so very many years ago. As sadly tragic as this is, it's been a long time coming.
A sin is a sin in God's
A sin is a sin in God's eyes. Murder......adultrey......and a little white lie is all the same. One is no larger than the other. So who is without sin let him throw the first stone. None of us know what is going on between Paster Bob and God except GOD. I do know that the way Pastor Bob speaks is uplifting and GOD speaks to me through him. I do not worship Paster Bob. Remember the choices of people GOD chose in the bible to use? I always remember what my father use to say, "don't do as I do, do as I say". We are all human and none of us is without sin. We sin by judging others and this sin, is as big as what Pastor Bob has done. If you chose not to attend Faith Alive that's your loss. GOD is good all the time. I'll continue to pray for Pastor Bob and his Family along with the other Pastor and his family.
GO, and sin no more
As Jesus told the woman at the well, "Go and sin no more" This is what Faith Alive needs to tell Pastor Bob. He needs to be told to GO. This does not mean he is not to be loved or forgiven. Bob has tried to paint himself as a victim. As he describes how he was cursed out by church members or how his family reacted he expects the church to feel he has suffered. And for those who feel Bob was brave for facing the church how else was he to represent his suffering and get support. It sickens me to see someone confess to what we already know and then make it appear he is confessing. So Faith Alive, you have a pastor who's character allowed him to have a long affair with his partner's wife. He did this while preparing sermons and having a relationship (or not) with the same God who hates sin. And most importantly, Bob would still be having this affair had he not been caught. Bob has been exposed but his character is the same. So it's time to decide if you want to praise Bob or God. Don't let God's compassion and patience get confused for his tolerance for sin. If the wrong decision is made the church will fall. Pray and ask God. I think you know what he will say.
Sister Groves
have you ever noticed how whenever a preacher or politician gets caught sleeping around they always make a tearful apology with their little wife standing beside them in full support in effort to make you believe that this man is so great that he deserves our forgiveness and blind trust??? I have to admire that South Carolina governors wife for the way she did it when her man cheated....she didnt stand up with him while he apologized....she put him out! Atta girl!!! Thats the way to do it sister.....Pastor Groves wife should take a cue from the SC governors wife and maybe she could maintain a little dignity too instead of looking like a doormat.
rest of the comment
Why didn’t our chairman correct this information for our congregation? We need and deserve the truth. I think the answer to the question of Pastor John’s dismissal needs to be revisited also. For those reading this - if you are a praying person, please pray for FAM. We are so hurt and damaged. I do trust that God will prevail; but, man sure seems to be getting in the way right now.
FAITH ALIVE, THE CHURCH OF GOD, NOT THE CHURCH OF MAN
In the congregation Wednesday night were several of us that chose not to give standing ovations. Yes, I forgive; but, I do not trust or respect our former pastor. He owes our associate pastors and our office staff a public apology and a huge thank you for all the hundreds and hundreds of hours they have given and continue to give to help our church heal and move forward from this tragedy. (Our former pastor sees himself as a victim according to his “journey”. His dear wife and children and personal family and FAM family are the Victims of his lustful acts.) Additionally, in the Q&A session information was given to our congregation that is in error. We were told that our Church and Pastor’s Council had voted to give our former pastor full salary for 2 years. After the meeting, I went to 2 of the men on our council and asked them if that was true. Both answered they had verbally agreed to a 3-month package only. In fact, they said they had not been given the privilege to vote on anything of detail for about 4 years. The chairman of our council stood at the front of the church watching and listening to all the answers. Why didn’t our chairman correct this informatio
If I couldn’t trust Pastor
If I couldn’t trust Pastor Bob, then who? That was almost 2 yrs ago; I was not a bit surprised to hear of the events in early May. I want him to heal, if for nothing else than for his three innocent children who asked for none of this. Be honest about everything though; it has indeed been going on for too long. There are still parishioners who give their hard-earned $ to this church & know nothing of their own family members’ activities with PB. Whom can we ever truly trust?
Whom can we ever truly trust?
Jesus ?? Yes!
I attended FA for @ 1yr. &
I attended FA for @ 1yr. & was instantly drawn to Bob’s charisma & ability to bring “church” to life; he’s a wonderful teacher with a true gift for relating to people. I was impressed with his picture-perfect family & his unique ability to use them as real-life characters in his weekly lessons to the FAM Congregation while using their day-to-day lives to illustrate Biblical lessons. For once, I looked forward to attending church & could actually remember what I had learned there for longer than it took to change out of my “church clothes”. I stopped attending FA because something was simply not right. Was it the way Bob flirted with my friend ea Sun. as we left church? Was it the fact that I knew he was counseling married couples, dealing with infidelity, all the while trying to date the husband’s mistress who also conveniently played softball for the church? That feeling of something being not quite right forced me to leave FA; I needed a place I could trust in a world already packed with deceit. I wanted to believe this man full of charm who left an indelible mark on my mind as I left the sanctuary ea week. He fell short. If I couldn’t trust Pastor Bob
OK….so, the BIG ? here,
OK….so, the BIG ? here, really, is who in this crazy world can you trust? We can debate forever about whether Bob should be forgiven, should receive $ from the church, or should one day return as Lead Pastor & will never reach consensus. Yes, he has sinned; haven’t we all? Yes, it took a lot of courage to face the congregation & admit what he did & seek forgiveness. Bob really needs to be honest @everything though before he ever has the hope of rebuilding trust. There are certain career paths in this life, teaching, law enforcement, & Pastor to name a few, which if chosen must be prepared to answer to higher scrutiny. Fair or not, folks in these fields will see themselves in print or on the evening news for a DUI, misuse of technology, or infidelity. You know this going in, so you must be prepared to suffer the consequences for your behavior.
Not sure it was appropriate?
My favorite is the person that yelled out "We love you Bob". I bet they were so proud of themselves. You know they got that hot feeling that came over them right before they yelled it because they weren't use to speaking out in public...enjoy your 2 seconds of fame? I can just see breakfast the next day they turn to their spouse..."remember when I yelled out We love you Bob in front of everyone...that was awesome!” Later that day…”Honey, Honey my We love you Bob made the paper!” They cut the article out and put it on their refrigerator. All that to say I am not sure a standing ovation and cries of adoration were appropriate...but hey you were able to feed Bob's ego and at the end of the day isn't that what it is all about?
FAM's Leadership is Exposed!
FAM leadership you are exposed! Bringing in Jimbo Chambers a close personal friend of Bob Groves reeks of cover up. Like all empires that are ruled under ungoldly dictators you will fall. That isn't my wish it is just a fact. A house built on the sand will fall. With the $11 million mortgage due you had two options. Seek God and His will for the future of FAM or cover up what has happened and as soon as possible get your dictator back in office and cover up what he did. Unfortunately you went with the second. So you reap what you sow. It will be sad when the bank knocks down that nice building to put up houses which they can get triple the value for...you made your bed now lay in it!
Wednesday's meeting hosted
Wednesday's meeting hosted hosted by Jim Chambers (long-time personal friend of Bob Groves) was nothing more of a political stunt to prepare the church for Bob's return. Look at how he set the night up... first reading scripture of why you need to forgive (ok I buy that), telling how bob started the church with a congregation of drug addicts which I think was to remind people that they also have a past, then making the staff stand up and telling the rest of us that they forgave Bob, and basically telling the church to stop talking about it and get over it.
Why would a long-time friend be the host of the meeting? Makes no sense. Did Chambers ever thank the current staff for going through this in the meantime? No! The COG knows that if Bob left, the number of people coming would drop and then who would pay for the new building.. they had to bring him back. What about the other two people involved? Chambers didn't seem to fond of them, saying they haven't been in contact with the church.. Well would you? I personally don't think Bob should draw a salary for 2 years while he goes though counseling. The rest of us don't get that.. Why should the congregation give money to support h
Is this really news? Sounds
Is this really news? Sounds more like National Enquirer junk where the media is so desperate for sales they'll print anything. How about using that journalism degree for something REALLY news-worthy?!
So far people...
Bob went public with his side , was he the only one involved?
Branch Davidians
I have been raised as a member of the Church of God my entire life. I had the opportunity to visit the Faith Alive Ministry last year and while they do maintain some wonderful things to assist the poor and underpriveledge people in the community, have many active members, and have a lot of things going to keep their members involved in the church it wasnt the church for me. I immediately felt unsettled at the almost "Branch Davidian" type loyalty the members have towards former Pastor Groves. The cutesy nicknames and playful adoration the people in the church have for the former pastor I felt was not only disrespectful to the office of pastor but it fostered too much of a familiarity that crosses the line between Shepherd and his flock. That type of familiarity allows Satan the opportunity to get in and begin to work which is what happened. I was blessed to be raised in the Church of God by a man of God who was my Pastor and spiritual leader. I would not think of disrespecting him by calling my PB, or any other nickname of the sort. Former Pastor Groves may have come clean with what he has done by way of a public confession which is I am sure very hard....but I wonder if he
Came Clean???
A writer writes at least Pastor Bob came clean. Came clean??? He was caught. Not exactly coming clean when you get caught. And when Bob spoke of sinning a lot and a long time. It appears he's almost bragging about what he did. He should have winked after making that statement. He didn't have a weak moment and slip, he chose this affair as a way of life. He planned meetings with her as he decieved the church, his wife, and his church associate. And he didn't feel a sense of guilt and confess, he got caught. This is not about forgiveness, or "all have sinned", or "let he who is without sin", or other one liners selected to justify what Bob did. Bob is a very influential, popular man. He has proven that by raising his popularity by admitting he had a long affair. He actually gets a standing ovation and applauded. The person I feel has been forgotten is the husband whose wife had the affair with Bob. I wonder what he thinks when he sees the church applaud the guy that took his wife a lot and for a long time.
Forgive Him?
I have met Pastor Bob once, and he is a very nice and charismatic person. He has accomplished many good things at Faith Alive. However, he has committed adultry. Not just once, but for a long period of time with one of the church members. Yes, he came forward and asked for forgiveness from his congregation, but only after he was caught! How many Sunday's has he stood in front of his people and preached the gospel knowing of his sins? Most seem to be willing to forgive and accept him back as the pastor once again. How do these same people feel about the spouse of Pastor Bob's mistress? Isn't is an insult to him to have the congregation stand and cheer for Pastor Bob knowing what he has done to his wife and on top of that, provide financial assistance to him to get counciling? I say if you want to forgive him, accept him back into the church, but not as a pastor, but as a member. Let him sit out there with the rest of the sinners and earn his way back into the churchs graces without pay. Let him get a normal job and support himself and family like the rest. But do not reward him for his sins. How long does he stay involved with Faith Alive without financial backing?
Everyone Needs Compassion
Everyone needs compassion. I live on this phrase. Pastor Bob is just like any other human being. Yes he was cheating and it was stupid of him, and how long would it have happened before he got caught? I don't know, but it took him getting caught to realize oh crap im in huge trouble and he realized that he was stupid and doing wrong, and he came before a full house to publically apologize. He even cried. PB NEVER cries!! I could tell that he was beaten up about it and he's not well. He's sick and he's got alot to deal with. But recognize this. God has changed a whoooole lot of lives through Pastor Bob. On Easter, you should have seen the multitudes of lives that got saved. Pastor Bob is a great man, and I will forgive him in a second. God bless you Pastor Bob and God bless you Faith Alive!
Too Many Tears
You talk about the tears Bobby, as we called him growing up, shed when apologizing for his many, long practiced sins. I remember seeing the same tears as his wedding to Shawn.