How to find a job and stay (relatively) sane during the process

It only seems like the end of the world. If you've been laid off (or suspect your days at work are numbered), the well-meaning assurances of friends that you'll land on your feet can ring hollow. But your friends are right. There are jobs out there and, yes, one of them is yours.

The trick is to manage the job search effectively while deflecting the stress of the hunt.

"A job loss is one of the most anxious things that you go through," acknowledges Kelly Scharver, LPC, a career counselor with Beach Counseling and Career Center. "Employment is your way to get food, shelter and everything else, so it can be really scary to lose a job; your major needs are being threatened."

That's why Scharver says the first step in the search for a new job isn't to rush out your resume, but to make sure you have a support network in place. "You need to be able to express that this is a huge deal," she advises. "You need an outlet – family, friends or counselors – because there's going to be anxiety, grief and loss. So first, it's having someone who will listen and validate just how difficult of a change you're going through.

"After that, my approach is helping people create the next chapter – where do you go from here. Routine helps make us feel safe, so we might work on adding structure back into the day – getting up, hitting the shower right away, doing the things you need to do to be healthy. While you're working toward your goal of getting a job, keep up with the other areas of your life that add to your happiness; you need to be connecting with friends, exercising, eating well and getting out of the house."

Next comes the self-assessment stage (what are the skills, strengths, particular knowledge and attributes that I bring to an employer), which Scharver considers key to landing the right job. "I've noticed that the more panicked people feel, the more desperately they throw themselves out there to see what sticks," she explains. "It's quantity over quality and it may work, but you might not find a job that's the best fit for you. So first, do your self-research, then identify the employers who need the skills and attributes you can offer them."

Once you've identified your skills, you need to develop your "patter" says Scharver. "It's like a thirty-second elevator speech that tells people what kind of job you're looking for and what you bring to the table. When I worked at the University of Chicago, we used to tell people that seventy percent of jobs are found through networking; just looking at postings online has one of the lower return rates.

"You'll find that people are generally happy to help, but if you say you just want a job, any job, it's frustrating for them because they don't know how to help you. If they know you're looking for a specific position or have specific skill sets, then they start thinking, ‘Hey, my friend Bob works in that area.' So you have to be clear about what you want."

Equipped with a well-rehearsed thirty-second speech, you're ready to start networking, beginning with your warm contacts. "Family and friends," identifies Scharver, "or maybe your church or a professional organization. Then you can tap alumni networks, your spouse's alumni network, even your friends' alumni networks. It can even come up at the grocery store or the oceanfront. I also recommend LinkedIn and Facebook – I actually got my position through LinkedIn," she says.

Resumes should be tailored to their audience. "Some people have a general resume, but at this point it's so competitive that you want to give that recruiter the feeling that you're just the person he's looking for," urges Scharver.

If all of this sounds easier said than done, Scharver recommends dropping by her job search group. "It's called the Job Search Corner and we meet every Wednesday at 10:00 a.m. at the Oceanfront Library in Virginia Beach. It's free and you can come as many times as you like. It's a good way to get feedback on your resume, or practice your interviewing skills or get some accountability with your job search."

And take heart – the process does work, Scharver says. "There are jobs out there, there are opportunities and people are finding work."

For more information about the Job Search Corner or to reserve your spot, call 306-9100.