Ledisi uses faith to beat back the fear

Ledisi has been on a slow climb to the top of R&B consciousness.

Those who are tuned into the smooth jazz/R&B circuit have certainly heard her song "Alright" from her album "Lost and Found," but Ledisi has actually been working the circuit much longer.

She's been performing since childhood, but as an adult, she fronted a buzzed-about band, Anibade (her last name; her first means "to bring forth" in Yoruba). Part of the slowness of that climb might be due to the three-year hiatus after her second album, 2002's "Feeling Orange But Sometimes Blue" - when she said she nearly quit singing. Clearly she didn't - her first major-label debut, "Lost and Found" on Verve Records, helped her shoot to the top of R&B charts and earned her a role in George Clooney's "Leatherheads" movie and a Grammy nomination.

How did the singer, who'll be at the Hampton Jazz Festival this weekend, do it? Faith.

What are you doing right now?

In L.A. just finishing with my next album, "Turn Me Loose." This is my growth album. It's a little bit of the same with some added things.... See, people say they like change, but they don't. It's hard to change; it sucks.

So why the title "Turn Me Loose"?

It's just me being free. Not being in a box, freedom of expression. I'm a free bird. I'm doing whatever I want. If you've seen me live, you can take me home in audio form. My fans finally get to feel that energy.

How did you manage to keep pushing while you were an underground artist?

I'm a big believer in commitment. When you commit, you commit all the way, even when it's hard. If you love it as much as you say you do, you have to go all the way through. Every day sometimes I wanted to quit. It gets frustrating, but the times I pushed, I got a new respect for myself. And how I pushed forward is having faith. Since I started, I always did music. I would do musical theater. I did wait tables for a while. Or I would do clubs at night.

Why the three-year hiatus starting in 2003?

I was really depressed. I was trying to figure it out. I was not happy with where I was in my career. I didn't know what I wanted to do any more. I felt like a hamster in a cage. You do things for a certain reason and then when you think you haven't gotten there, it's like, 'What's the point?' I didn't feel replenished or where I needed to be in life. I found that I needed to stretch out, leap, go in a different direction, which meant I had to leave everything behind that I was comfortable with. So I risked it all and moved to New York, and that was the best thing I ever did for myself. I learned I can manage by myself, I can do different things. I was broke, child, sleeping on the floor at a friend's house.

Wow. But on paper it seemed, though, like you had everything - you had a record label, you were touring, people knew who you were.

Being independent is hard. All the money you make goes back into your business. You have to pay for bands, hotels, food, per diems, all those things. I was killing myself for hardly no money. I could hardly pay my bills.

What I didn't do was manage things correctly. But you have to know your worth and ask for what you're worth. You may not get it, but you have to ask for it. You have to be hands-on in your life. Now I know a facet of everyone's job. It took me a year and half to sign. I was afraid, but I looked at my situation and said, 'If I keep going in this direction, where else is there to go?'

Did you even think about what else you would have done besides music? Like be a zoologist or something?

I was born to do this. My mother sang, my dad sang, my stepdad played drums. It was everywhere. I've tried to leave (laughs) but it doesn't work. This is my life. My music is about, 'You're not the only one feeling the way you're feeling.' That's what people want to know. Am I in this alone? Am I doing what I want with my life? Am I there yet? You have to push yourself; you have to do it when you're comfortable and uncomfortable.

That's where the faith comes in. When you have faith, the fear lessens. I'm scared every time I get onstage, release an album or change my haircut. Everyone's got something to say. Fear is going to always exist. It's about how to reduce it and go for it.

Malcolm Venable, (757) 446-2662, malcolm.venable@pilotonline.com