Tying the knot at home lets you personalize and save

By Nora Firestone

Correspondent

 Neither question could have shaken Brandi Mashaw of Virginia Beach.

“Will you marry me?” prompted a ready “Yes!”

“Where?” was no problem, either.  She’d had the answer  since standing knee-high to Granddad  on the pier of his Powells  Point home in Virginia Beach, gazing toward Blackbeard’s Island and quietly fishing from tree-lined Lake Joyce.

Growing up, she’d summered at that half-acre homestead of grandparents Andy and Sara Mashaw.  Brandi Mashaw had even lived there for a year as a teen while her parents, Lane and Susan , built a home in Chesapeake.

 “For as long as I can remember, I’ve envisioned getting married here,”  the newlywed said. “It’s paradise.”

So on May 16, the family’s waterfront yard  – complete with tent, lights, music, grills and a floating dance floor  – became Wedding Central. Brandi Mashaw married Eric McMahan, after a seasonal drizzle, before 150 guests.

The  couple sailed smoothly through the pirate-themed reception, taking in every detail of the homespun affair – from the pirate statue guarding the “booty” at the bar to the home-cooked seafood and  music played by friends beneath the stars.

By all accounts, Brandi’s vision manifested itself as a dream wedding.  The newlyweds  saved about $12,000, applying the strengths of family, friends and rampant creativity  to months of planting , printing, cooking and bartering their way to bliss.

Home-styled vows

At-home weddings are increasingly popular, partly because of conservative spending trends, experts say.

Lindsey Hocker and Megan Kratt, owners of Simply Perfect Events in Virginia Beach, have already planned seven this year.

But no matter the budget, the home wedding offers unmatched flexibility and personal expression, they said.

Keys to success include planning , knowing limits and employing the right help.

Begin planning at least eight months ahead for a higher-budget affair and four to six months ahead for one less pricey, Hocker  advised. Consider consulting a wedding planner  for some basic direction and a  professional perspective on the marriage of party and property.

Good planners have connections to the best caterers and reliable providers of photography, entertainment, decorations and more, Hocker  said. They can oversee the entire plan and secure the best prices, she added. They have design sense, an intimate understanding of the prenuptial time line and an eye for  often-overlooked logistics , including flow, kitchen and seating capacities, and grounds issues .

Costs vary, but many planners offer free consultation. Some charge a percentage of the entire bill. Simply Perfect offers an “a la carte” menu, ranging from about $300 for minimal decor  to  $4,250 for customized packages.

Define a budget from the start to prevent wasteful spending, Hocker  said. A wedding today can run $5,000 to $15,000 for modest budgets, $20,000 to $45,000 for midrange and more than $50,000 for high-end affairs .

“If you’re not going to have a planner, start with a very good caterer with connections.”

In addition, choose an efficient volunteer to help with organizing and implementing a time line – “and cushion the time line,” she said.

Other services to schedule immediately include the band (reserve at least eight months out at about $1,500 to $3,000)  or DJ (typically $600 to $800 or less) and a tent, which protects from rain or sun. Choose additional services according to finances, preferences and style. An iPod/speaker set-up requires  little to no money, maintenance or expertise.

Determine a menu: what kind of food, how much and how it will be served. Anything from a casual backyard  barbecue to  an upscale sit-down meal catered by your favorite restaurant is appropriate, Kratt said.

“The time of day will dictate a lot, too,” added Hocker. “An intimate brunch is pretty easy to do at a home wedding, while a plated dinner is going to be a lot more expensive and require more staff.”

“Know your space,” especially if a ceremony and reception take place in one location, Kratt said. Determine “how your guests will flow, as well as what decorations and rentals will make the most of your money and bring the most to the space.”

Welcome on-site consultations with vendors, ensuring accurate price quotes and best supply and placement of incoming equipment. Caterers may need to set up an additional kitchen. To save money, consider off-peak dates and times and bartering for services.

Say “I do” to doing it yourself

While marriage is hardly a do-it-yourself endeavor, many elements of the home-based celebration can be.

“Home weddings seem to have a DIY  chic,” Hocker said. “Embrace your surroundings,” which can and should be optimized regardless of your budget. Decor  possibilities abound in any price range and work best when coordinated with the home’s existing design and color elements within architecture and landscape.

Signify that this event is more than just a gathering. Invest in at least one de cor item, and don’t be afraid to be bold, Hocker and Kratt suggested.

Whether it’s antique chandelier lighting on commission or a simple signature flower, texture or color theme carried throughout in handmade decorations, such detail has high impact.

Linens are a good investment and add color and cohesiveness. Use family tableware collections if available, but high-quality, clear plastic is also appropriate, they said. Hocker recalled clients who started with a few pieces of nice  china and supplemented with an eclectic mix from thrift shops.

Other opportunities for color include plants, lights and favors. A “candy bar” of clear containers filled with colored candies also does the trick. It’s a great guest-mixer and can easily double as a take-home-favor dispensary.

Don’t spend money on favors that no one will use, the women said. On the high end, “make it worthwhile.” On a modest budget, “make it meaningful.”

Edible favors – from specially ordered gourmet foods to Mom’s famous homemade cookies – are always a hit.

Eric and Brandi McMahan, both 35, saved on almost everything. Brandi, owner of WebOverture.com, traded Web site design and creation services with vendors. Friend Tom McLane, guitarist from the band NHP, in which Eric sings, provided live music.

Brandi’s brother, Dan Mashaw, and his friends cooked and served a traditional Lowcountry  boil, saving the couple nearly $4,000 in catering services.  The  galvanized tubs for cooking  will be reused as decorative planters.

Other reusable features included flowers and luminaries by Susan and Sara Mashaw and Brandi’s sister, Ashley Lemke. A new gazebo and deck built by  the bride’s father will likely serve the family for generations.

Instead of a traditional cake, the couple opted for a seashell-design topper  – which they cut with Brandi’s late grandfather’s old sword  – and 150 self-serve gourmet cupcakes, saving $75.

They printed their own invitations and stocked the bar via bridal shower gifts . Neighbors  volunteered parking spaces for the occasion.

Hocker and Kratt recommend hiring off-duty police officers for security and traffic direction. Inform neighbors of the event in advance, consider renting  portable restrooms and arrange a shuttle from  off-site parking  if necessary, they said.

The McMahans spent about $6,000 on a wedding that “reflects our style and honors our family,” Brandi said. “I couldn’t ask for anything more.” 

Nora Firestone, nfirestone@verizon.net