The Virginian-Pilot
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Whose combination of moves, mystique and music will have the power to unite us all under a groove? Who is the singular pop artist that grandma and 6-year-olds alike can recognize on a newsstand and sing along to at a barbecue?
Of course, there will never be another Michael, but there will be some who approach the throne. Who could possibly deserve such an honor? We compiled this scorecard.
Lady GaGa
kiddie talent: Set to attend Juilliard as tween; writing songs and performing by 14 + 5
dramatic family similarities: None: wealthy family; elite private school education - 5
thrilling album: “The Fame” + 2
signature dance move: vamping, posing + 3
identifying prop: Lack of pants + 2
riveting off-stage scandal: Deliberately cookoo persona + 1
GaGa: 8. Great imagery, but the music’s so-so.
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Justin Timberlake
kiddie talent: Mikey Mouse Club + 2
dramatic family similarities: Hails from soul-drenched Memphis; Baptist church roots + 4
thrilling album: “Justified” + 5
signature dance move: lots + 3
identifying prop: It-girl actresses including latest, Jessica Biel + 3
riveting off-stage scandal: Once linked romantically to Britney Spears -1
Timberlake: 16. Close, but we need more music, JT.
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Chris Brown
kiddie talent: Performed in choir, at Kings Dominion + 1
dramatic family similarities: Single parent home, allegedly witnessing domestic abuse + 5
thrilling album: “Chris Brown” + 2
signature dance move: Many + 4 identifying prop: Tattoos and “gangsta” chains - 2
riveting off-stage scandal: That whole beating up Rihanna thing - 5
Brown: 5. The music’s OK, but he hasn’t got enough equity to make anyone turn a blind eye or ear to his scandal.
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Britney Spears
kiddie talent: Mickey Mouse Club + 2
dramatic family similarities: White children + 4
thrilling album: “Ooops, I Did It Again” + 4
signature dance move: hair swivel - 2
identifying prop: That snake from the 2001 VMA Awards performance + 1
riveting off-stage scandal: Epic meltdown in 2008; head-shaving in 2007 + 5
Spears: 14. A possible serious contender, but we need more knockout albums and less crazy, Brit.
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Usher kiddie talent: Recording contract at 16 + 5
dramatic family similarities: Fallout with mom manager in 2007 + 3
thrilling album: “Confessions” + 3
signature dance move: Many + 3
identifying prop: suave, GQ sartorial style + 2
riveting off-stage scandal: divorces wife and demands paternity test + 2
Usher: 18. Quite possibly the next Michael Jackson; one more superb album might tip the scales in his favor. Especially now that he’s back on the market.
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Beyonce
kiddie talent: appeared on Star Search + 2
dramatic familial similarities: open-secret clashes with manager/father + 5
thrilling album: “Dangerously in Love” + 4
signature dance move: booty dance from “Crazy in Love” + 5
identifying prop: Sasha Fierce’s metal glove + 5
riveting off-stage drama: marrying Jay-Z on the down low; Destiny’s Child’s infighting + 5
Beyonce: 26. She’s got the music, the moves and just enough drama without being full-on cat lady crazy. Could it be? Beyonce is the new Michael Jackson.
Malcolm Venable, (757) 446-2662, malcolm.venable@pilotonline.com
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None
of those can hold a candle to the King of Pop. Not even close. If I had to pick a few it would be Usher or Beyonce'. Jackson will never be replaced or forgotten. As for the "defective part", so eloquently referred to in another comment, I'm sure that everyone else is perfect right? I think it's funny that folks who have no personal knowledge of a person can actually speak as tho they know them personally. If you believe everything that's reported by the media, then come over here and let me sell you some swampland in AZ. It's not our place to judge what Jackson did or didn't do, his talent speaks for itself and no one will ever be what Michael Jackson was to music ever again. Like it or not, he was what God wanted him to be and he was the best at what he did.
Sorry didn't mean to get on a soapbox here. I guess most people have never heard of "Judge not and be ye not judged". Oy vey!
A distinct NO from this writer
Why the heck would we want to replace a defective part? We are better off without another, and, if you asked me, which you didn't, most of the replacements are defective in their own right.
When will we start honoring teachers, scientists, writers, engineers, military personnel, police officers, firemen and so on with the same degree of "OOOH AAAHHH!" that we have used to honor the deadbeats, the dregs, the parasites of society?
Another distinct "No!"...
...from me too. I agree with Archie; Hollywood's (so-called) 'celebrities' are entertaining--mostly for their oft-times bizarre, off-beat, and eccentric behavior. And--I'll admit it--some of them ARE talented and fun to watch. AND--that pretty much sums up their entire worth and value to the human race. They seem to have no other function, and certainly seem to serve no higher purpose. Unlike the folks 'Archie' mentioned--the teachers, the firefighters, the policemen, the medical folks, the scientists--all those types of people who work--and have worked long, hard, and diligently--to become professionals in their trades or crafts. They serve the greater public, and we seldom ever hear of them. But THEY are the ones most deserving of our praise and adulation--not those tinselly, fake, and phony wannabees from Hollywood. Sad that our kids emulate people whose lives are so empty...