It's time to stop pretending we don't notice Madonna's rapidly changing face

Disclaimer: I have nothing against (good) plastic surgery. Real talk, let me see a wrinkle or something slipping prematurely and I will be booking a flight to Boca to see Dr. Fleishman before you can say 'more painkillers, please.'

Oh sure, I used to be one of those finger-wagging people that thought chopping up the face was some sort of blasphemous act, but come on. We bleach our teeth, get weaves, wear fake nails, add lifts in our shoes, spray on tans and do tons more things in the name of cosmetic vanity, and no one thinks those are considered odd. If there's something about your appearance that makes you self-conscious and you have a means of fixing it, by all means, slice it up.

That being said, WTH is going on with Madonna's face? Have you seen it lately?

This is so jarring because, once upon a time, Madonna was the poster girl for (slightly pretentious) yoga rejuvenation. Yet on the low, homegirl was quietly pumping her face full of more chemicals. It was just a year ago that New York magazine was gushing about how the Medical Material Girl was the new face of, well, face: she personified the new(ish) move towards getting more youthful and natural looking injections and fillers, rather than old-school nips and tucks. (BTW, there's an amazing medical spa on Granby Street, Skin, which has fierce relatively low-priced injections that will take decades off your face. Ask me how I know!)

Anyhoo, yes, Madonna. Just as recently as "Confessions" she looked, you know, mature, but juicy and plump in the face. (Yet, you can always tell by the hands. A woman like say, Demi More, can look like a 25-year-old above the neck, yet be spooked when you look down at her hands. You know the type, that 5th Avenue, stay-in-Chanel lady whose paws look like a three-dimensional subway map. Yes. Whoever comes up with hand plastic surgery will die rich. And also, did you see that Saturday Night Live with Madonna and Lady Gaga? Madge has the floppy, wiggly pancake booty of an 82-year-old man. And to be clear, I never want to see that in a leotard.)

So, yeah. While she once looked dubiously youthful, Madonna's new face is chopped and screwed harder than a Lil Wayne track. Look at that ad above! It's like she's always saying, 'Who?' or 'How?'

Poor thing. Probably will only be able to drink through a straw by 2015.

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