50 things you must do while living in Hampton Roads

Like a Swami or party planner, I’ve spent hours struggling over two similar questions. The first: “What should I do with my parents when they come to town?” The second is “If you were moving out of Hampton Roads, what would you put on your bucket list?”

Both questions share roots, and answers to either follow a similar theme: What are the quintessential Hampton Roads things to do?

These are my guesses. They may not be enough to convince cruise lines to homeport in Norfolk instead of Baltimore, but they identify activities to start crossing off during the holiday weekend.

•  Eat at any place with a porch where you can smell the ocean. (I like Tautog’s in Virginia Beach for the crab dip.)

•  Take a picture with a Norfolk mermaid, preferably one dressed like you.

•  Drink an O’Connor’s beer.  Or even a St. George’s. Always try the local brew.

•  Walk Olde Towne Portsmouth.

•  Snap a picture in front of the no-swearing sign at the Oceanfront. (Make it look like you are swearing.)

•  Eat at Vintage Tavern in Suffolk.

•  Drive to the Outer Banks.

•  Fly a kite on Jockey’s Ridge.

•  Eat at Doumar’s in Norfolk. People love the words “invented” and “ice cream cone.”

•  Admire the pure testosterone of the Grave Digger in Currituck County.

•  Count the number of references to The Wright Brothers in any northeastern North Carolina town.

•  Buy an obnoxious Virginia Beach souvenir T-shirt for less than a cup of coffee. Give it to a sibling.

•  Take the Elizabeth River Ferry that travels between Norfolk and Portsmouth. Remind visitors it is public transportation.

•  Sit on the lawn for a free concert at Town Point Park or at the Oceanfront.

•  Call someone in a cold climate. Put your toes in the sand, and say, “Hey, whatcha doin’? Oh, me? Nothing. Just sitting on the beach.”

•  Get into a fender-bender on one of those four-person bikes at the Oceanfront.

•  Kayak.

•  Conquer a fear of heights at Busch Gardens.

•  Take a photo just as the sun has set at the Beach.

•  Eat at Luna Maya in Norfolk. It’s not Mexican; it’s Bolivian.

•  Hike at First Landing State Park in the Beach.

•  Laugh at the SUVs with flip-flop decals on their window.

•  Fish from a pier.

•  Tour the Battleship Wisconsin in downtown Norfolk. Take a picture.

•  Stop in the Planters Peanut Center in Suffolk.

•  Try to photograph (unsuccessfully) dolphins in the ocean.

•  Take a photo of Norfolk’s Scope. Say the aliens were not photogenic.

•  Attend a festival. There is practically one every week.

•  Wade away from a jellyfish – quickly.

•  Move your car based on tidal predictions.

•  Visit the old lighthouse at Cape Henry, site of the British landing in the New World in 1607.

•  Try on a Colonial tri corn  hat in Williamsburg.

•  Stand atop Mount Trashmore in the Beach. Pose like Rocky. Then roll down.

•  Acknowledge the statues of Confederate soldiers. You can’t see those everywhere.

•  Eat a fried Twinkie at a Tides game.

Do you have items to add to the list? Name them in the comments below.

Mike Gruss, (757) 446-2277, mike.gruss@pilotonline.com