A monument to whatever at JFCOM

Some folks appear quite agitated by the news that work is continuing on a bright, shiny new headquarters building for the U.S. Joint Forces Command even though Secretary of Defense Robert Gates intends to shut the place down by this time next year.

The project - which could cost up to $16.5 million - does seem a tad wasteful under the circumstances. What we're looking at here is the equivalent of a fiscal neutron bomb: The building will remain standing while everyone's job inside is vaporized.

But let's try to focus on the positive, shall we? Let's do what so many of us do so well during our daily commutes: Look for the light at the end of the tunnel.

For starters, it's great news that the contract for construction of JFCOM's headquarters went to a firm from Jacksonville, Fla.

This fact should delight the Sunshine State's congressional delegation, which seems covetous of just about everything we have. (Colonial Williamsburg, watch your back. The Mouse may be in the house.)

In exchange for the JFCOM headquarters contract, perhaps Florida officials will agree to remove their grubby little hands from the Navy's Norfolk-based carriers and stop viewing Virginia as one big military surplus store.

To sweeten the deal, we could promise to provide Floridians with another commodity for which they seem to have an insatiable appetite - squirrelly politicians.

As someone who's lived in both states, I can attest that the Old Dominion is not just producing run-of-the-mill good ol' boys anymore.

We've developed a skill for cultivating major league weirdness, good enough to make us a farm team for the real pros down south.

When Floridians see a prospect they like, we'd be happy to help the lucky public servant pack for a long, fruity career of fun in the sun.

Still, we're faced with the dilemma of what to do with that bright, shiny new headquarters. What should we put in it?

Many folks here would vote for JFCOM, of course, or some variation thereof. But we would be smart to have a few backups.

The U.S. Center for the Study of Government Waste would be a logical new tenant.

Here, auditors could analyze congressional pork and produce hefty tomes calling for change, which - of course - will never come. It would be a jobs program that keeps on giving, through Democratic, Republican and Tea Party administrations.

On a related note, another promising option might be a government think-tank that focuses on another vexing problem on Capitol Hill - slippery principles. Choosing a name for this particular project might be controversial, but - for now - we could go for something bipartisan like the Charles Rangel and Duke Cunningham Center for Government Ethics Reform. We could update the names as the years go by.

Of course, there's a chance the momentarily deficit-conscious feds won't want to create a new bureaucracy. The state government will have to leap into the breach.

The new building sounds like a terrific spot for a center devoted to studying the many ways to solve Virginia's many transportation problems - every way, of course, except raising gas taxes to levels charged in neighboring states.

How about the Commonwealth Joint Gridlock Command?

And, if there's room left over, how about one of those fancy new private liquor stores? Our traffic may never flow, but at least the booze will.

Daryl Lease is an editorial writer for The Virginian-Pilot. E-mail: daryl.lease@pilotonline.com.