Headlong into the future

We now have the measure by which to judge all future campaign seasons. Forget about the incessant robocalls, the muddy deluge of campaign commercials, the teetering heap of semi-coherent fliers in your mailbox. All in all, it'll be a pretty good year if no one steps on your head.

For this helpful gauge, we can thank a big-footed volunteer for Kentucky Republican Rand Paul's campaign for U.S. Senate.

Shortly before the start of a debate this week, Paul supporters wrestled a 23-year-old MoveOn.org activist to the ground as she approached the candidate. The video indicates the woman was subdued rather easily by several men in the crowd, but the footloose fellow chose to step in just the same. Even by NFL standards, it was a late hit.

Paul, a tea party favorite, quickly disowned the volunteer and urged civility all around. Campaign aides issued assorted reminders that one of the things that makes America great is not having to brace yourself for a rolling, shoulder-to-face stomping on the sidewalk of the marketplace of ideas.

I don't know about you, but all of this makes me eager to hurry on to the next stage of the nation's political discourse, whatever it may be.

Depending on which version you believe, our noggins are about to make a soft landing on pillow - or slip into a vise.

One of the determining factors will be how a congressmen from California handles his new gig as the nation's grand inquisitor.

If Republicans take over the House as anticipated next week, Rep. Darrell Issa will become the chairman of the Government Oversight and Reform Committee, a position traditionally used to pester the opposition to distraction and rage.

For George W. Bush, the annoyer in chief was Henry Waxman, the Hercule Poirot of Capitol Hill. As the ranking Democrat on the committee for many years and later as its chairman, he was fond of klieg-light congressional hearings.

For Bill Clinton, the role was ably carried out by Rep. Dan Burton of Indiana. He's best remembered for taking an investigation of the alleged murder of Vince Foster into his own backyard, where he test-fired a pistol into - according to varying accounts - a watermelon, a pumpkin or a cantaloupe.

There are rumblings that some Republicans are going to have a fruit focus again - specifically, fruitcake. There's talk of hearings about President Barack Obama's birth certificate and even impeaching him, although the charges are rather vague. (Socialist bailouts of corporate America?)

But Issa, who currently serves on the oversight committee, mostly disavows such nonsense. He has said he's satisfied Obama really was born in Hawaii. (Whew.) He recently told reporters there's "not a chance at this point" that he'd pursue impeachment. (At this point?)

"You're going to be bored to tears," he joked with Time magazine.

"I can continue to be the annoyer in chief if the White House doesn't want to work with us," he told The Wall Street Journal. "But if they do, we have a real opportunity to get some things done."

At other times, though, Issa doesn't seem quite so amenable to cooperation. He recently told Rush Limbaugh that Obama is "one of the most corrupt presidents in modern times." (Somewhere, Richard Nixon is stomping his feet.)

Issa also has expressed an interest in delving into "Climategate," the vast conspiracy by world's scientists to trick us into believing global warming is a serious problem. (Ken Cuccinelli, call your office, please.)

But at least some GOP leaders express determination not to engage in smashing pumpkins.

"The oversight function needs to be very focused on policies that kill jobs," Virginia's Eric Cantor, who serves as House minority whip, recently told the Los Angeles Times. "As long as we're focused on trying to right the ship, the American people will support our efforts."

In any event, be prepared to hear Issa's voice. You may already know it.

Before arriving in Congress, Issa made a fortune producing and selling car alarms. That's the congressman himself sternly warning folks to "step away from the car."

All rightie. Just show a little respect for our heads, please.

Daryl Lease is an editorial writer for The Virginian-Pilot. E-mail: daryl.lease@pilotonline.com.