A wunnerful discovery

A few questions and answers about this week's announcement by NASA that scientists just discovered two really, really big bubbles of energy at the center of our home galaxy, the Milky Way.

Q. So how big are we talking about here?

A. Together, the double bubbles span 50,000 light-years.

Q. Could you translate that into football fields for me? Or dog years, maybe?

A. Well, one light-year is equal to roughly 5.9 trillion miles, so we're talking something like, um, a kazootrillion miles.

Q. Wow.

A. That's exactly how David Spergel, an astrophysicist at Princeton, reacted to the news. "And we think we know a lot about our galaxy," he told The New York Times.

Q. Oh, geez.

A. Put another way, the bubbles are almost as big as the entire galaxy. They would cover half of our visible sky.

Q. It's too late for us to evacuate, isn't it?

A. Oh, there's no need to flee - or, as the case may be, sit in traffic any more than usual. Although scientists say the double bubbles may contain the energy equivalent to 100,000 supernovas, or exploding stars, we're in no danger.

Q. But what did these things come from?

A. Well, no one's really sure yet. I like to think it's the creator blowing soap bubbles. Scientists told The New York Times that one theory is that the bubbles were created by waves of star births and deaths at the center of our galaxy. Another theory is that the black hole at the center of our galaxy is - as The Times delicately put it - belching.

Q. Seriously?

A. Think of it as galactic dyspepsia. Understandable, really. The shenanigans in our little corner of the galaxy alone would be enough to necessitate a little Milky Way milk of magnesia.

Q. Hold on: A black hole at the center of the galaxy?

A. Yup. It's as big as 4 million suns.

Q. I have to sit down. Is it expanding?

A. Uh, let's put it this way: It's safe for you to buy green bananas.

Q. So, wait a minute - our government is just now finding out about these double bubbles? What incompetence! Whose fault is this? Obama? Bush?

A. Actually, scientists say the bubbles could be millions of years old, so the soonest we could place blame would be on the Founding Fathers. Benjamin Franklin, maybe?

Q. What exactly is our government doing about this? Has Virginia Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli filed a lawsuit?

A. Not yet. But we probably shouldn't rule out a subpoena seeking information on the "science" of intragalactic warming.

Q. The bubbles are high-energy, right? So it may not be a bad thing, right? Drill, baby, drill?

A. Unfortunately, we currently have no vehicles capable of running on gamma-ray energy. But if that day comes to pass, the forward-thinking Virginia General Assembly could place a toll booth out there. And a liquor store or two.

Q. A liquor store?

A. Sure. If you were driving by a black hole, you'd want a belt afterward, wouldn't you?

Q. OK. What about Congress? Is it doing anything about this?

A. As of yet, nothing. But deficit hawks are looking to cut NASA's budget below its 2010 funding level of $18.7 billion. Some folks - such as Capitol Hill's resident Mr. Wizard, Sen. Jim DeMint of South Carolina - want to ratchet it back to the 2008 level, or $17.3 billion.

Q. But what about the bubbles?

A. Oh, the research will continue. As Spergel said, there's still a lot about the galaxy we just don't know.

Q. So, there might be more bubbles?

A. To quote the great Lawrence Welk, "A one-a, an-a-two-a..."

Daryl Lease is an editorial writer for The Virginian-Pilot. E-mail: daryl.lease@pilotonline.com.