Valentine's advice from local romance writers

The most romantic day of the year is approaching, and you're stumped. You know another heart-shaped box of truffles and some sweet smelling flowers won't cut it with your special sweetheart.

We picked the brains of four women whose passion is romance. Whether you're looking to surprise your longtime spouse or hoping to intrigue that special someone you met last week, here are a few thoughts from the Chesapeake Romance Writers to ignite the flames in your relationship on Valentine's Day.

Author Judi McCoy lives with her husband, Dennis, on the Eastern Shore, where she is a full-time author who also advises aspiring writers. Her 17 books include a dog walker series of romances inspired by her four pooches, Buckley, Belle, Sasha and Rudy.

Judi McCoy was 16 years old when she called her best friend and told her she knew the man she was going to marry.

His name was Dennis. He was a sophomore in college. They were working behind the scenes on a theatrical production in Joliet, Ill.

She had never spoken to the guy.

"I walked up to him and introduced myself," said Judi, who was a junior in high school at the time. "We went out after the production that night to a pancake house. We stayed out until 4 o'clock in the morning. My father had a hysterical fit."

Three years later, they married. Two grown daughters and two grandsons later, they're still together.

"Everything we had together was a perfect match," Judi said. "We had nothing in common. He was from a family with money; his dad was a neurosurgeon. I was one of two girls; he was one of six boys. My mom had died, and I was a raised by my father. I never dated another man. He's never been with another girl."

The magic in their relationship stems from the simple pleasures they share and the willingness to do special things for each other.

Dennis cooks. Judi revels in his homemade bread, a staple on Valentine's Day, along with a favorite meal of hers and the white wine she prefers.

"I don't have to do a thing," she said. "Not even take a dish off the table."

His thoughtfulness isn't reserved for Feb. 14.

"Every so often he'll do something really cute," she said. "Like he'll go on Amazon and buy my books. He'll say, 'I thought it was time Amazon got a hit on your books.'"

Dennis asks for little in return, but Judi regularly gives the gift cards she receives from various engagements to him.

"I can't top him," she said.

For those seeking inspiration, she suggests, "Do something you've never done before with your partner. If you've never been bowling together, if you've never been on a cruise together, if you've never gone to an Indian restaurant together, try something different. Break out of the rut."

She promises that if it's meant to be, it will work out.

"I've always loved a happy ending," she said. "I believe life has a happy ending if you do it right."

Nancy Naigle and husband Mike Holland live on a farm in Drewryville along with their 300 goats and two dogs. Nancy works from home as a bank president and is awaiting publication of her first book, "Out of Focus," this fall.

They met at a gas station and got married on a farm in Hickory. Nancy was in overalls, Mike in a T-shirt. They hadn't closed on the farm yet, so they had no inside access. There were portable toilets for guests outside an industrial building decorated with twinkling lights and bales of hay.

Their wedding cake had confectionery pigs crawling up the three tiers, and they drove off together on a tractor. For their honeymoon, they cleared seven barrels of trash off the farm they just bought together.

"It's the fun, little things that gobble you up," Nancy said. "It's not the big fancy stuff."

One year - before they were married - Mike gave her a dozen roses. But what really stole her heart?

"Sitting next to them were 12 little rawhide chews with a ribbon around them for my dog," she said. "I was a goner. I was marrying him for sure."

Nancy urges couples to discover the small joys that matter to them, even if they seem kooky to the outside world.

Before goat farming, the hobby they shared was tropical fish. One Valentine's Day they bought each other rocks for their 150-gallon saltwater tank.

"That stuff stinks to high heaven, but it was so romantic to us," she said. "We sat on the kitchen floor, excited, opening those boxes of rock. And then trying to position them in the tank with our elbows in water. It was so neat!"

Whatever you do for that special someone, make sure it comes from the heart, Nancy advises.

"If it's his favorite dinner or snack or something you did together six years ago that is still your favorite memory, bring those things front and center," she said. "And don't wait until the last minute. We can tell."

Phyllis Johnson and husband Don, married 28 years, live in Western Branch. Phyllis, who has been a correspondent for The Pilot's community sections, also writes romance, poetry and short stories for e-books. She holds occasional seminars for budding writers, including a poetry workshop titled "One Night Stanza."

She got the idea for her poetry workshops when she was in her 20s. A guy she met at a dance the night before wrote his name and number - on the back of an ABC inventory list.

"If somebody wanted to take a map and write somebody a love note on that, they could find a map of some foreign locale like Bermuda and say, 'I really want to take you there,' " she said.

To make it even more special she suggest wannabe poets use different writing instruments, maybe a carpenter's pencil or a tube of lipstick. Sneak out ahead of him and leave the note in his vehicle, she said.

The best part of her advice?

"Gaze into her eyes, touch her face and run your fingers through her hair," she said. "A woman wants to feel cherished and adored. That costs him nothing and earns him everything."

Her own husband is the analytical sort, and the most romantic times they've shared are on the cruises they've taken together to Bermuda and the Caribbean.

But the tiniest of gestures still make her heart skip.

"Tonight he cooked stir fry," Johnson said. "He pulled the chair out for me. He hasn't done that in ages."

Denise Jeffries' inspiration for writing romance stems from breaking up with her first boyfriend who was anything but romantic. "There has to be more to romance," she figured, so she began writing a story that later became a book about a man who treated his woman like a queen. "A Walk in the Rain" was published in 1999, and now the Newport News resident is working on her 16th book. She is also happily married to husband Leon.

Her job as a case manager at Sentara Careplex can be stressful. Jeffries doesn't let it be. She is a romantic at heart, who refuses to let traffic jams and endless meetings ruin her outlook.

Years ago, she traveled the world before an aunt lured her back to Hampton Roads, telling her she needed to be closer to home. Jeffries moved back from Baltimore and recalls thinking, "They say Virginia is for lovers, but really it's for married people."

She told her sister if she didn't find a boyfriend by the end of the year, she was heading back north. Then a month later she met her husband - talking on the Norfolk Singles line.

"I tell my friends I paid $20 for him," she said with a laugh.

They chatted for two months before agreeing to meet at Waterside for ice cream and a walk. A month later, he proposed, and 12 years later, they are still together.

Men looking to do something special for Valentine's Day should consider cooking, she said. Jeffries is blown away by her husband's Mexican taco casserole. Trouble is he hates to cook.

"I don't bother him about it," she said. "I don't tell him to cook; he doesn't tell me to mow the grass."

What always works, Jeffries said, is cuddling.

"I'm a big proponent of that," she said. "You don't have to spend a lot of money. Sometimes all you need to do is cuddle, stay at home, have dinner and maybe go for a walk."

Vicki L. Friedman, (757) 222-5218, vicki.friedman@pilotonline.com