Y'all come back now, ya hear?

I knew our economic recovery has been on a sputtery furlough lately. But I didn't realize just how bad it was until I read that Steven Spielberg needed a little help from Virginia taxpayers - $4.6 million, to be exact - to film a movie about Abraham Lincoln in the commonwealth.

Predictably, some folks are getting snarky about Spielberg's close encounter with our tax dollars, but I'm as pleased as Gov. Bob McDonnell that we're able to help a fellow when he's down.

I just can't shake the image of the "award-winning and visionary filmmaker," as the governor accurately described him, huddled under a bridge with his palm outstretched - E.T.-like - pleading, "Bob, grease palm."

Sure, it's counterintuitive for a fiscally conservative leader like McDonnell to send money to Hollywood. But he's Bob for Jobs, and this is just about the best he's got.

In fact, he should entice more filmmakers to Virginia. I think there are plenty of opportunities for more LaLa landings in this great state of ours:

Twitterdee and Twitterdom: Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli's recent all-thumbs foray into the world of 140-character communications didn't turn out well, but if a TV show can be created from "(Stuff) My Dad Says" tweets, why not this? Starring Charlie Sheen, who also has a gift for illogical outbursts. (With a cameo appearance by former U.Va. climate scientist Michael Mann.)

She's Out Today: Follow the madcap misadventures of Norfolk's Community Services Board as its employees deal with the 12-year absence of a co-worker. ("I'm afraid she just stepped away from her desk - what's it been? - seven years ago. Can I take a message?") With Joe Pesci as Paul Fraim in the curious - but perfectly ethical! - dual role of mayor of Norfolk and partner in the law firm defending the CSB.

It's a Wonderful Life (If You've Got the Interest) In this re-make of a holiday classic, join George Bailey as he struggles to pay back a 200-percent loan from Mr. Potter (portrayed by state Sen. Richard Saslaw). Does Clarence earn his wings? Of course not. The General Assembly isn't on the side of angels, silly. (Unless, like payday lenders, the angels start spreading around unholy amounts of campaign donations.)

Where's Bill Bolling? This animated feature, destined to become a children's classic, lets tykes and their parents experience the suspense and thrill of spotting the lieutenant governor as he attends ribbon-cuttings, elbows Cuccinelli out of the way at the next gubernatorial nominating convention and artfully shields statues of Confederate generals on Monument Avenue during the filming of "Lincoln." ("Look, Mommy! There's Bill... Bolling. His name is Bolling, right?")

Eyes Wide Shut, Eyebrows Arched A biopic of former Gov. Tim Kaine, from his days as mayor of Richmond, to his years as governor, to his springing convicted murderer Jens Soering, to his run for U.S. Senate. Subtitled in German.

Tunnel! Irwin Allen meets Woody Allen in this zany disaster film starring Italian farcical master Roberto Benigni as he races to flee the traffic-jammed Midtown Tunnel in time to relieve his bladder and escape a floodgate malfunction/routine summer storm. (With a cameo by former U.Va. climate scientist Michael Mann.)

The Tide Phil Shucet (Billy Bob Thornton) and Will Sessoms (Bruce Willis) thwart a threat by the Virginia Beach Taxpayer Alliance to derail public transportation in Hampton Roads. Spoiler alert: It involves delaying the scheduled opening of The Tide. Again.

These Boots Were Made for Stepping In It In partnership with Bollywood, a musical biopic about the ever-eloquent George Allen (Alec Baldwin), covering his many years of knocking soft teeth down the whiny throats of liberals, to his fateful uttering of a word that he just plain made up, right there, on the spot, so quit talking about it, will ya?

The Bob McDonnell Story: This could truly be made on the cheap, simply by dubbing new dialogue into an old Ronald Reagan flick. (Watch him take on the commies at public broadcasting! "Mr. Elmo, tear down this wall!")

Daryl Lease is an editorial writer for The VIrginian-Pilot. Email: daryl.lease@pilotonline.com.