Winning play for The Tide: A celebrity end-to-end run

I have a theory about those explosive ridership numbers from the opening days of Norfolk's light-rail system.

At least half of those passengers were there because former Norfolk City Councilman Randy Wright - Mr. Light Rail - frog-marched them onto the trains.

As he pushed and shoved to get light rail, Wright encountered many skeptics. Like me.

"We'll ride it together when it opens," he told all of us. "Remember. We have a date."

Wright's a nice guy with his own peculiar brand of charm, but I never really wanted to date him. Still, when Wright phoned to remind me of our plan, I couldn't say no.

I wasn't the only one. He spent those first few days merrily riding to and fro with gaggles of guests.

So, on a recent morning when tickets weren't necessary - will everyone please stop calling those rides "free," they weren't - I headed out to met him at the Newtown Road Station.

Turned out, Randy had buttonholed someone else into riding with us: Bruce Smith.

"THE Bruce Smith?" I gasped as we waited for the football legend to arrive.

Yep, the man himself. The pride of Norfolk, Sack Man, the former defensive end for the Bills and the Skins who stills holds the NFL record for the most quarterback sacks.

Remember all that stuff I wrote about The Tide? How it was an extravagant train to nowhere that wouldn't do a thing to reduce congestion? How it was little more than a tool for developers who want to herd us all into ant colony living? How the project was so hideously mismanaged that some people involved in it ought to be in jail? How if Norfolk really cared about its image, it would pour money into schools, not trains?

I take it all back. As long as there's an NFL Hall of Famer sitting across the aisle from me, I'll ride that train every day.

Otherwise, you can keep it.

Calm down. It's a lovely little rail system. The stations are cute. The cars are clean and fresh. It toodles along a route that isn't completely hideous.

But Lord, it's slow.

Yes, Randy excitedly pointed out the one brief interval during which we reached the galactic speed of about 55 mph. (The same speed limit on I-264 that runs parallel to it.)

I can't tell you to the minute how long it took us to get to EVMS and back to Newtown - a journey that included a stop to change cars at NSU - but it was close to an hour and 15 minutes.

I know, a crack reporter would have been writing stuff like that down. Me, I was too busy talking football with the pride of Booker T. Washington High and Virginia Tech.

Who am I kidding? I'm all college football. What I know about the NFL could fit in a thimble.

Even so, Smith was gracious when asked about such weighty matters as whether he will ever join the cast of "Dancing With the Stars." (No. His knees aren't made for waltzing.) And whether he knows Warren Sapp, whose knees did allow him to compete. (Yes.)

I learned other interesting things from the NFL's notoriously nice guy: Turns out Smith's mother used to be a TRT driver. Her days behind the wheel of a bus came to an end when her son inked a contract with the Buffalo Bills and he was able to help her retire early.

Back to light rail. It'll be great for retirees like Smith's mom, and others who aren't in a hurry, and the handful of fortunate ones who live and work along the line.

Impractical for most other commuters.

Yes, the landed gentry will use it occasionally on their cultural excursions into Norfolk or to Harbor Park, so they can brag about how they support mass transit.

But you don't build a light-rail system for suburban swells. You build it for commuters.

There are a few. Heather McKeating, for instance. She greeted Wright warmly as she boarded the train.

"It's like they built it for me!" joked the Norfolk Tides' director of community relations who works at Harbor Park and lives in Arrowhead, within walking distance of the Newtown Road Station.

The trains are up and running, and I wish Norfolk well with the venture.

Memo to HRT honchos: If ridership should slump, I think I know how to get derrieres in those seats:

Hire personable sports stars to ride the rails every day. Or get Randy Wright to make a few more dates.

Kerry Dougherty, (757) 446-2306, kerry.dougherty@cox.net, pilotonline.com/dougherty