The Virginian-Pilot
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Hey there, buddy.
Just wanted to say hi. How ya doing? Haven't seen you around lately. Been off to Costa Rica? Spain? Maybe Barcelona?
Nothing's up. Why do you ask?
Just your friendly neighborhood neighbor wanting to see how you're doing. And I couldn't help but notice: Is that a new Subaru? Or did you just get it washed - and detailed? Either way, it looks great. Really shiny. New OBX sticker?
Say, hey there - um, I was just reading that Virginia is now home to a whole bunch of millionaires. Out of 50 states, Virginia ranks seventh. I know - crazy, huh?
So it got me to wondering...
Am I catching you at a bad time? Sorry. I should have asked. Are you just coming back from that Occupy Cold Stone Creamery event? Ha. Ha-ha. Or were you out on the boat? Playing polo? Swimming through a pool of coins?
Oh, you were just at Walmart. Hmm. How pedestrian. Very common-man of you.
Anyway - another bizarre fact I just learned. Did you know that about one in every 16 households in Virginia is home to a millionaire? Yup. That's up from two years ago. Then it was about one in 18.
If you consider that our neighborhood has about 100 houses in it, that means we've picked up two new millionaires. And we all know it ain't me, and it sure ain't the people around the corner with that dilapidated two-story held together with plywood and horse manure - if you know what I mean.
You're not holding out on me, are you, neighbor? Are you a millionaire? That's a cashmere sweater from Nordstrom, isn't it? You can tell me. Don't be ashamed.
Just kidding, buddy. I know you're not that rich. Everyone says you give away terrible Halloween candy. No self-respecting millionaire would cheap out like that.
But you have to admit, the numbers are hard to believe, right? Thirty thousand new millionaires in the commonwealth in just two years. Nearly 200,000 millionaires statewide. More millionaires per capita than California, with all its Silicon Valley money.
Oh, sure, a quarter of the houses in Hampton Roads are underwater on their mortgages and wages aren't increasing and thousands of jobs have been lost.
But enough about that. I was just stopping by to see if you need any help pruning that money tree you've got out back. Maybe I could clip off a stock tip or two? Find a six-figure job growing in your garden? No?
Did I take this metaphor too far? OK. I'll stop.
We're not all millionaires. Most of us are just people. We. Are. The 93.74 percent! Am I right or am I riiiiiight? Gimme some!
No? Ok, I understand. You've got stuff to do inside. Like look through Sotheby's catalogs for artwork and decide which five-star hotel to stay in next time you're in New York.
Yeah, well, I guess that's it.
But before you go, one more thing: Are you using your boat this weekend? The giant vacation place in the OBX or at Hilton Head or in Sandbridge? Could I borrow the Bentley to drive though Town Center? Use your American Express for bottle service at Mansion?
No? OK, I get it. You're not Uncle Moneybags. You're just going inside.
Well, it can't hurt to keep looking. It doesn't seem like our fortunes have changed.
Mike Gruss, (757) 446-2277, mike.gruss@pilotonline.com, PilotOnline.com/gruss
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People still don't get it.
What people are talking here is net worth of over $1,000,000 built up over time. What the occupation is talking about is annual salaries of about $5,000,000 and up and net worth many multiples of that. Your local retired business owner who volunteers with the Lions or the Scouts or their church is still part of the 99%. That's the part of the problem with our economy. Nobody here can seem to wrap their heads around the huge numbers involved and think in relative terms to what they think is big when it is actually far smaller numbers than is being discussed. It's the difference between a million dollars vs one thousand. The difference is exponential. Same here. The difference between small business and the 1% is exponential. Wake up people.
I'm friends with a few millionaires
They all took risks to start their own businesses and are now retired. They spend much time volunteering at church, Boy Scouts, Lions' Club, etc. One's been a volunteer rescue squad member for 30 years and travels to South America annually to help build churches and orphanages. Their wives shop at Walmart, drive used cars and dote on their grandchildren. They're all living in the modest homes they raised their kids in, and those kids are expected to make their own way in the world. They each lost a small fortune in 2008, but they don't complain because they recognize there's risk in investment. They're good, humble men whose character led to their success, and are thankful for their blessings. Useful men who should be respected, not envied.
Millionaires
The millionaires are not the ones with brand new mega expensive things like cars and boats and artwork. They are also not the ones living in McMansions. They are the ones who have retirement savings, an affordable house, an emergency fund, etc. And, they drive later model autos. Millionaires do not spend, spend, spend, they save, save, save. Money is not something you can see, it is all in your net worth (i.e. assets-liabilities). I am not a millionaire, just someone who lives my life frugally.
The new ones are (almost)
The new ones are (almost) all in NorVa, getting rich on bloated federal government salaries or contracts.
DC and Wall Street are the only booming local economies in the country.
I hope
I hope that some day my neighbors are able to live next door to a millionaire.