Virginia is for lovers. Norfolk? Not so much

Caryn McDonald-Gregory waited a long time before she landed in a Norfolk courtroom to become Caryn McDonald again.

An active-duty soldier based in Germany, McDonald paid a local attorney to arrange a divorce from her husband of 19 years. The lawyer didn't solve the problem. So McDonald called the Norfolk Circuit Court clerk's office from Germany to handle it herself.

A few months later, McDonald was sitting at a witness table as Circuit Judge Norman A. Thomas granted her divorce.

When it was over, she burst out of the courtroom in tears. She was relieved.

"If I knew it was this easy," McDonald said, "I would have divorced years ago."

As it turns out, not all of Virginia is for lovers. When couples lose that loving feeling, they most often come to Norfolk. Although the city has 3 percent of the state's population, it handles nearly 10 percent of its divorces.

Couples filed 3,134 divorces in Norfolk courts last year, more than the rest of the courts in South Hampton Roads combined. It's nearly twice as many as Virginia Beach. Norfolk ranks second only to Fairfax County in total numbers filed, even though Fairfax has more than four times as many people.

The numbers have been steadily rising, too. Norfolk jumped nearly 16 percent from 2009 to 2010. And this year's pace is ahead of last year's.

Kristen Hofheimer, a Virginia Beach family practice attorney, said Norfolk is preferred because its system for handling divorce cases simply works best. Divorcing couples and their attorneys can use a court outside their home city, and Norfolk, Hofheimer said, "is a lot more user-friendly for attorneys" compared with surrounding courthouses.

Family lawyers who practice in the area say Norfolk has more flexible schedules and an easier process to review and handle paperwork. Divorces can be scheduled any day of the week, and paperwork does not have to be filed far in advance, as other jurisdictions require. Other cities may review the documents in advance, kick back forms for minor errors, and force attorneys to reschedule hearings, attorneys said.

Speed is important, and not just for lawyers. Couples want the process to be over. "It's really important to them to move on with their lives," Hofheimer said.

Reeves Mahoney, based in Virginia Beach, has run a family group legal practice for three decades.

Mahoney, who has clients across the state, said he prefers Norfolk because its quicker process keeps legal fees down for clients. Speed also can help limit the psychological and financial damages of contested divorces, he said.

"They want it over," Mahoney said.

Kelly Blessing, a Virginia Beach lawyer, handles divorces for a range of clients, including indigent cases referred by social agencies. Often, the clients have been separated from their spouses for years and simply do not know how to get a divorce.

The process isn't always speedy, she noted. The state requires at least a six-month legal separation. "It does hold up the sanctity of marriage," she said. Still, she once arranged a case in Norfolk in three days for a Navy sailor about to be transferred to Florida, she said.

With Norfolk's high volume comes drama, the clerks said.

Circuit Court Clerk George Schaefer said he receives emails from around the globe about divorce. Sailors on deployment and in the middle of marital storms want advice about the process.

Schaefer and his staffers email packets containing the process for contested and uncontested divorces. Schaefer added, "The best advice is to hire an attorney."

Anthony Fuller, deputy clerk in charge of civil cases, was called recently to the front counter to help a patron who had stumped his staff. The woman wanted to divorce her wife.

A woman had all the paperwork needed for the separation, he said.

The customer explained her sex-change operation and the couple's amicable decision to split.

The divorce went through with hardly a hitch.

Schaefer said the office tries to make the process as painless as possible. "This is contract by law," Schaefer said, "but it's much more."

Caryn McDonald said she and her husband were not speaking by the end of their marriage.

The clerk's office walked her through the process, and the court agreed to schedule a hearing when she returned from leave the week of Thanksgiving.

In the courtroom, McDonald was accompanied by a childhood friend who flew in from Jamaica.

Her former husband did not contest the divorce in court.

The judge explained the paperwork and the importance of getting extra signed copies because she was serving on foreign soil. "You can have all of that done today," the judge said.

McDonald went straight to the clerk's office to finish the process. "It's a burden lifted," she said.

Louis Hansen, (757) 446-2341, louis.hansen@pilotonline.com