Oh Yea, I be Jonesen
If you look up the term "Jonesen" in the urban dictionary, you will see it is another term for having withdrawal symptoms-I'm having them today but, I'm also keeping them at bay a lot better than I thought possible-it's just the habit that is proving hard to break and when you couple that with the nicotine withdrawal, no wonder so many people try to quit and can't.
I sat down at my computer this morning-no lighter, no morning cigarette and no ashes all over the desk or computer. My mind is use to reaching for that first cigarette much like the certain way only you know how to jiggle a car key to get it to work and then the nicotine craving hits you.
I got in my car to run an errand and as soon as the car was moving, I reached for the pocket I always keep my cigarettes in to light up and they along with the calming effect the nicotine has on the stress wasn't there-the nicotine craving returned.
I had a chance to clean out my car a little bit today and found an empty pack of cigarettes-I shook them hoping that there wasn't one left because there was a better than even chance that I might rationalize "well, just ONE won't hurt."
ONE is how you get started all over again-been there, done that. Thankfully, there wasn't one there so the pack got crushed, which is the internationally accepted sign to other smokers that there are no cigarettes in this pack, and threw it away.
Of course, I passed several places where all I would have had to do was get out of the car, walk inside and say, "Marlboro Reds in a box" and after handing over nearly $6.00, I could have easily had them. That thought makes me have another nicotine craving which is tapping me on the shoulder as I write this but I must admit, I'm diggin' the no cigarette ashes all over everything deal I've got going on now.
Another aspect of this journey is how you're treated by smokers and non-smokers alike. Your still-smoking friends look at you like you just told them you're moving away to a neighborhood they can't visit but your non-smoking friends, and I believe I have said this before, treat you like you've just joined their side and are happy to have you with them. It's kind of like when you decide to finally grow up, become responsible and quit hanging out with your druggie-friends. Your responsible friends are glad you finally started doing the right thing, your druggie-friends will ALWAYS be your druggie friends and may one day follow your lead, and maybe not.
But as I'm looking around at my desk and my missus's desk, I'm not seeing cigarette ashes scattered everywhere-and since we don't have maid service here, this is something that I can really get use to-not cleaning up those insidious cigarette ashes.
With regard to the nicotine cravings-that one I'm just going to have to stare-down and believe that I'm a stronger person than this addiction. It's time, I'm ready and frankly, I'm getting sick of having to go outside beside the dumpster to have a cigarette.
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