There was a time when I talked as fast as Sarah Palin

I watched the full Sarah Palin news conference Thursday in which she said she not only was not going to run for another term as Governor of Alaska, but was also going to step down from her current term in the next week or so.

Who knows what that's all about,and I can't even guess why she would do this, but that's not why I write this.

Wow, can she talk fast, or what? For years one of my favorite entertainers was my fast talking hero - Ms. Linda Ronstadt. Besides singing like a precious bird, if you have ever seen Linda being interviewed you know you had to listen quick and digest her thoughts and answers even quicker. She was master of rapid verbalization.

After watching Palin's news conference I am impressed. Obviously, she knows how many words she has to say, and knows she only has a quarter the alloted time to say them - thus, non-stop, comma and period-less sentences.

As I said there was a time in my life when I, too, could talk that fast. It was in the early 1970s, and quite of few of us ladies talked real fast back then. We also cleaned the house real fast, not missing one single nook or cranny, or skipping any of those 'grease-built-up-corners' near the stoves. And, one more thing that went along with our quick speak and dust-free, sparking houses - we lost weight like no body's business - which pretty much was our main goal. And, for some odd reason we ground our teeth as our minds raced and all dirt and grime disappeared around us. I never could figure out what all that teeth-grinding was about.

We also felt fan-dang-tastic! We had energy up the wazoo and we could stay up dancing and playing cards with the other young marrieds all night long.

The only downer was when we stopped moving, put head to pillow and finally dozed off . . .  we had no way of getting up the next day without a 'little help from our friends.' Those little red and black pills worked wonders, but skip a morning without downing one with the morning coffee and we couldn't move. We not only couldn't talk fast, we didn't have any coherent thoughts even if we had the energy to verbalize. And, forget about the vacuuming, the laundry, the dishes and anything else that needed doing . . . we were rendered pretty much immobile without 'mother's little helper' (as Mick and Keith reminded us.)

Pop a little friend, though, and life returned and set us back on our warp-speed paths that would have awed even the likes of Spielberg and Lucus with all their space ships zipping through space in mere seconds.

Thank heavens - really - thank heaven and all those who inhabit it, for making a suggestion one day that feeling so UP and so, so GREAT just might not be all that normal; not to mention how rough it was on our bodies.

So, Linda and Sarah - I am still impressed at your knack of rapid speak and energy. Wish I could muster it on my own, without the aforementioned help that I long ago bid a not-so-fond farewell to. Time is flying by so fast; I really could use the time I'd save getting a week's worth of chores done in a half hour and talking like an auctioneer.

Thanks for the flashbacks, ladies. It must be wonderful having that energy without the use of man made chemicals. 

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Golf Analyst, David Faherty Stepped in a Steaming Pile

CBS's golf analyst, David Feherty has ticked off a lot of folks it seems. In a magazine called "D" Magazine (a mag that's apparently geared toward news in and around Dallas, TX,) Faherty talked about George and Laura Bush moving there. What's got everyone's britches in a wad is that he suggested that if one of our military personnel was to get on an elevator with House Speaker, Nancy Pelosi, Senate Majority Leader, Harry Reid, and terrorist, Osama bin Laden, that Pelosi and Reid would be killed before bin Laden was taken care of.

This has annoyed the Democrats because they think Faherty is saying that our military hates the leaders of the Senate and the House. And, it's ticked off the Republicans because they think he's putting down our military, suggesting they'd rather take out members of Congress rather than a real terrorist.

Is this just plain ridiculous, or what? Both parties are wrong, here. Faherty made a joke. What's so surprising - Faherty makes dark humored jokes about pro golfers on TV for a living, week after week.

Here's The Golf Channel's article about the comments and about the apology: David Faherty's Pelosi, Reid, bin Laden Joke

Ok. Now, I think we can gather from all that, that  Faherty isn't a fan of either Pelosi, Reid or bin Laden. Maybe his method of delivering the line was nutty, but hey, David Faherty is always going for the funny angle. This is exactly the type of thing he would say on the air in the middle of a PGA golf round. He's out there, he's over the top, and I'm just as sorry as I can be, but he never fails to make me laugh my head off. Everyone is taking Faherty's comments in that magazine article pretty seriously. Get over it guys - I mean, really. Do you for one moment think David Faherty meant those remarks literally? Of course he didn't.

Not any more literally than Wanda Sykes did when she mentioned Rush Limbaugh's vital organs failing in her remarks from the DC Press Dinner this past weekend. She doesn't care for Rush - well, duh, big surprise, there! But, peppering the comedy routines with 'ouch' moments directed at politicians and personalities such as Limbaugh is pretty much what the speakers do at that annual event.

David Faherty will continue to be one of my favorites when watching golf on TV. He's funny and he's got opinions and he'll share at the drop of a hat. So what? Let it go. Who gives a big fat farkle?

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From Where I Stood at Ocean View Golf Course's #16, It Wasn't a MICRO-anything!

Accounding to the story in Wednesday's Virginian Pilot, The National Weather Service said the storm that blew threw the Ocean View area and tore down power lines and uprooted trees was called a 'Microburst'. Micro? I think not.

My husband and I had just finished playing the 14th hole at Ocean View Golf Course and were walking to the cart when I heard thunder that sounded much closer than I'm comfortable with. At the same time the wind changed and picked up speed.

"I don't want to be here." I said. Something in my voice must have alarmed my better half because he immediately said, "Get in and we'll head straight in."

As we cut across #16, I glanced to my right toward the green and couldn't believe what I was seeing. The rain was coming down so hard at the green that it looked like a solid cloud, and the wind was blowing up there so hard that it looked like it was raining horizontally. At the same time there appeared to be another 'something' coming from the left right at the cloud on the green. Very strange. And, scary, since the white of the rain seemed to be racing toward us.

We pulled over to the side, right along the Battersea fence line and jumped out of the golf cart and sought some shelter under a big, old tree I've played around for years. The rain was pounding down on us, the hail was pelting us for all it was worth and the wind was so hard it was all we could do to brace ourselves again the tree we were under. My shoes filled up with water in less than 15 seconds. Everything was so loud, we could hardly think.

In just a minute or so, it was over and only a light rain was coming down. We hopped back in the cart to get the heck out of there and couldn't believe our eyes. There were huge tree limbs down all over the place, and between where we'd waited out the 'Burst' and the 16th green, was a very large tree that was splintered and laying over onto Battersea. That made my heart stop.

What if we'd drove just a little further before stopping, and had picked that tree to get under? What would have happened to us? Would we have had time to get away from it as the wind ripped it apart? I think not. And, even more startling was that the wind and rain and hail had been so loud we hadn't heard anything that remotely indicated a gigantic tree was being destroyed.

Sorry, National Weather Service - you got it wrong - there was nothing MICRO about what blew through Ocean View around 2:05 on Monday, May 4th, 2009. . .

. . . it was more like a MAXI or MAJOR from where I was standing. . . shaking. . . praying. . .dripping. . .and clinging.

Golf - it ain't a game for sissies; that's for sure.

If you'd like to share your 'MICRO-Burst experience, please leave a comment, or email me at  golfbythecupful1405@verizon.net   I'll post your responses here.

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Tea Bags? You're Kidding, Right?

Ah, first off, it's been done before and so, so much better. I mean, this can't compare to the real deal with ships, sailors and a harbor.

And, secondly - do you really think intelligent folks are going to send tea bags that cost nearly $5.00 for a box of 20 or 25? Not likely.

I'm not saying the United States tax system couldn't stand some major tweaking, but this is just goofy. I'm hoping those Congressmen and Congresswomen don't trash those little bags filled with ground gold. I hope they at least take them home and put them in their cupboards.

If this is all you guys got it's no wonder . . . well, it's no wonder. You probably know what I was getting ready to say. I won't say it.

Your heart is probably in the right place. Now, start working on getting your head there. This ain't the way to make anyone take anything you say seriously.

It is cute, except for that price of tea bags things. Next time send something we have plenty of and that doesn't cost an arm and a leg in this economy. Dirt maybe. Not sand, though. We can't afford to give away sand on such a frivolous notion.

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Sunday's Masters' Finale - A Whole Lotta DRAMA!

I don't know about you, but by the end of the final round of the Masters yesterday I felt like I'd been beat up. *** NOTE TO SELF - Get up and move around more next time - sitting on the edge of a chair for 5 hours cramps the bones and stiffens the joints.

Wow! Did you guys see that finale coming? I didn't.

I have to say that I didn't expect the fireworks from Phil and Tiger that Nick Faldo and Jim Nance and the rest of the commentators assured us were coming. I really thought the 'much anticipated match between golf's number one and two' would fizzle.

Shows you what I know. If you're a Phil fan your smile is BIG today. Your guy didn't win another green jacket, but #2 DID beat #1 by one stroke. That explains Phil's post-round remark about how much fun he had out there on the course. Good job, Phil - I wasn't pulling for you, but you did win that match up in fine form.

Now, to the REAL show. . . Kenny, Chad and Angel - Double WOW! I couldn't pick a favorite to pull for between these three guys, so I jumped out of my chair when appropriate and moaned out loud when necessary for each one of them.

Chad (Campbell) and his string of birdies on the front side of Thursday's round was unbelievable. He managed to hold everything together with only minor glitches till late yesterday afternoon. And, still he ended up in the 3-way playoff.

Kenny (Perry) at 48 has been playing his best golf this past year or so, and his 3rd round on Saturday was a thing of beauty. And, yesterday, that shot on #16 that nearly went in the hole for an ace had me screaming, and scaring the rejeebies out of the hounds in the house.

And, then there's Angel (Cabrera) of who my husband said early in Saturday's round, "Watch out for Angel. You never know what he's going to do, but he knows how to win a major (US Open-'07)."

Yep - he knows how to win a major . . .  and, now he has two notches on his belt. Great news for Argentina who has never had a Masters champ, even though they came pret-ty close.

One last comment about a player. . . Shingo Katayama. What a fun guy to watch. Show me a guy who has some emotion - either anger at missing a shot, or unabashed joy for making a shot and I'm in his corner. I don't much care for the ones who have all those boring tee-to-green rounds with no emotion. Mr. Katayama, dressed in pink shirt, white slacks and his edge-scorched cowboy hat quietly stayed on the leader board all day. When he sunk that last putt for a bird that moved him into 4th place, he was a joy to witness, as he bowed and tipped his hat and smiled, with tons of animation. An Asian has never won this tournament - he would make an exciting Masters Champion.

How in the world can Masters 2010 follow THIS show? This was high-drama from beginning to end. Guess we'll have to wait and see.

[PHOTOS: Tiger Woods and Shingo Katayama from 2007 Masters Practice Rounds - property of Golf, Politics and Beyond.]

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A Few Masters Observations Thus Far.

Ok, I take it all back - all that stuff I said about the Par 3 Contest on Wednesday at Augusta National Golf Course. The little tournament that the pro golfers play in the day before the REAL tourney begins was pretty good this year.

Hey, either I'm getting more 'grandmotherly' and can appreciate all the tykes on the greens making 3 inch putts, or, they toned the syrup down some this year - I don't know which is the case, but I really enjoyed the two-hour coverage this time. Did you watch any of it?

What a joy to see Arnie, Jack and Gary in a three-some with their grandsons as caddies. Seeing Gary Player hit one in the water off the tee, only to follow it up with his next tee-ball in the hole for a 3 was great.

And, when they showed Greg Norman's tee shot bouncing into the hole I let out a little scream, despite myself. And, of course his caddy, Ms. Chris Evert came forward in her over sized, white Augusta overalls (caddy attire) to plant a big wet one on her dude. Good stuff, I thought. You have to give Chrissie credit for not laying low - she's been following her guy around, and I like that. I always enjoy it when the wives follow their husbands around the course.

What a great start to the REAL tournament, too. I played golf on Thursday and when I came in to the clubhouse to catch a little coverage, Chad Campbell was 5 under for the first 6 holes. Huh? Say what? I didn't know that was an option, or even a possibility - did you? He couldn't miss a putt and he was bombing every tee shot.

Obviously, today (Thurs.) has bode well for him, too, since he's still leading at 9 under.

And,  . . . what's Tiger up to? Well, he's watching a whole lot of putts ring the hole or lip out. He should be much lower than minus 2 for the first two days, but I guess he could still get the putter working by tomorrow morning and round three.

I'm reminded of the scene from the movie, BULL DURHAM, where all the Durham players converge on the pitchers mound for a 'chat'. Someone says something like. . . "We're dealing with a lot of stuff, here." and, he tells about all the things they have on their minds, totally UNRELATED to baseball. Someone says that ... "We need a live rooster to take the curse off of Jose’s glove"  Ha ha. I hate to even guess at what a live chicken had to do with getting Jose's glove working.

Please - someone take Tiger a live chicken because his putter's mojo needs realigning.

Too many good stories swirling around the Masters to get into now. Maybe later. Let me hear what YOU think is a good story.

[Photo: Greg Norman and Tiger Woods in practice round at the 1996 Masters. Property of Golf, Politics and Beyond.]

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Masters Par 3 Contest - Wed., ESPN, 3:00 P.M.

Today is the Masters' Par 3 Contest, held on the prettiest, little par 3 (9-hole) course I've ever seen. It's right on the grounds of Augusta National Golf Course, and if you don't go looking for it, you wouldn't even know it was there.

Last year, for the first time, the Masters Tournament and the Masters' committee head dudes decided to allow the Par 3 competition to be televised on ESPN, and they are doing it again this year. I did a short blog about it last year, if you'd care to take a look.

WARNING!  even though the site is beautiful and the best players in pro golf typically play in this little tournament the day before the big tournament - it gets old quick. Just how many wives, caddies and kids can you bear to watch hit shot after bad shot? Since it's all in fun, the wives and kids are often the caddies for their famous spouses and dads, and it IS interesting to see these people that we usually only get quick glimpses of during the year. I'm a total nut for watching the wives and kids, but even I got 'over cutesi-fied' after a half hour or so of this.

Anyway - it's just a reminder if you're home today around 3 p.m. Check it out on ESPN. Be careful, though - the syrupy, sweetness just might send your blood/sugar levels off the chart.

Let me hear from you if you watched any of this - I'd like to know how you enjoyed the  Par 3 Contest.  You can email me at  golfbythecupful1405@verizon.net

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"... Chrissie has never seen Masters..." - Greg Norman

I enjoyed The Pilot's story Sunday about pro golfer, Greg Norman, returning to Augusta National this week for the Masters Tournament. (By  Doug Ferguson of the Associated Press.)  Norman gets to play in the Masters this week because he played so well in last year's British Open, finishing tied for 3rd place.

While talking about going to the Masters this week, Norman said this referring to his wife, Chris Evert, "A couple of people really wanted me to go there, and Chrissie has never seen the Masters. So to get her there and to see what I think is the greatest golf championship, and my favorite tournaments of all time, was another factor, as well."

I had to laugh when I read that. I remember well the day my husband came home from seeing Augusta National for the first time in 1995. The first thing out of his mouth when he got in the house was, "We have got to figure out a way to get you there." He'd spent a couple days seeing practice rounds, and he could hardly contain his excitement of seeing all the pros and walking the entire golf course.

Bless his little heart, he DID get me there the very next year. The same friend that came up with tickets for him and his buddies, came up with a couple for us for one day in '96. We drove down, and spent Monday walking all over the place. I saw Tiger Woods playing with Greg Norman when Tiger was still an amateur. I saw Arnie and Jack and NIck Faldo and all the other pros that were playing practice rounds that day, which was just about all of them. Byron Nelson was sitting under the big tree outside Butler Cabin doing an interview. I was in hog heaven.

 "WE HAVE GOT TO GET BACK THERE! REALLY! WE HAVE TO FIGURE OUT A WAY," I must have said a thousand times on the drive back up to Norfolk. And, we have managed to go back for practice rounds 5 more years since 1996.

[Photo: 2004/Property of Golf by the Cupful. A par-3 hole from Augusta National GC's 'Par 3 Course' where a PAR 3 TOURNAMENT is held each year on Wednesday.]

I'll be watching the coverage from an easy chair in my own living room this year. And, as much as I always pull for Mr. Woods, I'll be kind'a pulling for the handsome blond guy with the magnificent shoulders, too. Who knows - those feisty Golf Gods might just give the Aussie a nod this year.

If you have thoughts to share about the Masters, leave a comment, or email me at  golfbythecupful1405@verizon.net

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Great Golf Yesterday - Scanky Golf Today

The Great Golf from yesterday was the golf from Tiger Woods. I say great because it was great to see Tiger play good enough golf after his 8-month layoff to win Arnie's tournament (Arnold Palmer Invitational at Bay Hill) in Orlando, FL. If you didn't see the final round, The Golf Channel's web site has articles, videos and opinions from all their commentators.

I think in all fairness to Sean O'Hair, that if he had continued playing the way he played on Saturday, it would have been O'Hair who won, not Tiger. I wanted to see Tiger get a good win before the Masters, but it was kind of hard to pull against Sean O'Hair, who just lost his focus, I guess, playing with Tiger with that huge gallery that followed them. It was high drama when they got to the 18th green, and it was hard to watch O'Hair's drooping body language when he his putt for birdie missed the cup. As down as O'Hair was as his putt slipped by, Tiger was 100% UP, UP, UP when his putt rolled in.

Now, for the scanky golf today. That stuff would be mine. It was rotten, ugly and nauseating. I expected today to be nice so I planned to walk the 18 holes with my friends. Who suspected the wind to be howling for most of the round, somewhere between 20 and 30 mph? Not moi! If you live in eastern Virginia or Maryland, I suppose you heard about the loud noise and bright lights that lit up the sky last night, with no one from any agency knowing what it was. (Or, at least no one's saying what it was.) I heard it and I told my better half, "That sounded like 'transformers' coming down the street... what was it?" He didn't know either.

I mention the big bang and the bright lights because I personally believe the event did something to the greens and holes. Nothing I hit went anywhere near the green or the cup, once I was on the green. Some foreign alien must have de-magnatized the cups on all 18 holes. Nothing of mine would go within 10 feet of the danged flag on my approach. And, forget the putting - it stunk to high heaven, too.

The Golf Gods smiled down on Tiger yesterday and welcomed him back. As for me - they sent aliens to the area to screw up all things par, birdie and eagle related.

Tomorrow's another day, though. All things golf can do a total 360 in 24 hours time. If that wasn't the case, we'd all take up knitting.

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Rain. No Golf. I'm Bored.

So, here we go again - another weekend with 3 days (including today) of rain, chill and drippy, icky rain. Rain, rain, rain.

There is no golf for me because I don't do golf in the rain anymore. Oh, I have been known to play an entire round in rain, but I'm no longer 29. Bones don't do well for 18 holes of golf, in chilling rain, when you're over 29. Or 39. Or  . . . actually, I could go on for a couple more of those upward numbers. Who cares - just suffice to say, I can't play in constant, drippy rain anymore. . .

. . .  unless, of course, I'm already playing and I'm playing really, really well and the rain starts then. That's a whole 'nother story, isn't it?

So with nothing to do today, I spread some bird seed on the deck rails and stood at my kitchen sink and watched the birds as I did a couple kitchen chores. Borrrring. Well, that was until a big, fat cardinal flew to the little bird feeder hanging near my window. I ran for the camera, and of course he was gone when I got back. But, I hung around for a while and eventually, by tip-toeing through the wet grass I got a photo of the cardinal in the tree in the back yard. He really stands out against the starkness of the leave-less trees.

Later, after I'd forgot about the birds when I was doing some dishes, I glanced up and found two doves walking up and down the deck's rail. I grabbed the camera and managed to get a shot through the glass and the screen of the window as they hopped on a small cooler.

Who says there's nothing to do when you can't play golf? I have been checking the deck for more birds in between checking the weather channel to see when the sun is coming out again. It appears that starting Monday, the week ahead will be nice. Finally.

So, what are you doing? Did you play in the rain, today? Did you watch the birds? Are you watching golf on TV - Tiger's playing ok golf; but, I couldn't get excited today, even about Tiger.

I'm bored.

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