Last meals

No doubt you heard the news. The commonwealth of Virginia executed two killers in the past two weeks: John Allen Muhammad - The Beltway sniper and Larry Bill Elliott who killed two people to win the love of his stripper girlfriend.

No doubt you know how they died, too. Muhammad opted for lethal injection, while Elliott asked for the electric chair.

Only thing left is to know is what they ate at their last meals.

Sorry. That's classified.

In a darkly amusing note on The Washington Post's "Post Partisan" blog today, Jo-Ann Armao expressed outrage over the decision not to unveil the menus.

"Why should these men get privacy?" she demanded. " ...Who cares what they think? Don't public tax dollars pay for this food?"

Armao has a point. To find out why the last meals were a state secret, I went to Larry Traylor of the Virginia Department of Corrections.

Traylor told me that condemned prisoners are allowed to pick anything they want to eat - off the prison menu, that is - without regard to a balanced diet.

"If they want four pieces of cake, we give it to them," he said.

The prisoners are also asked if they want the contents of their last meal released to the public. In both of the cases, the men declined. The department honors their wishes.

Why give them a choice at all? I asked.

"In the 11, going on 12 years I've been here we've always done it that way," Traylor said. "I guess it's a tradition."

As it turns out, we do know what Muhammad ate.

Seems one of his attorneys didn't get the secrecy memo. Moments after Muhammad was executed the loquacious lawyer blabbed to CNN's Larry King that his late client had "chicken and red sauce and he had some cakes."

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Our part-time governor

Let me be clear.

I didn't expect Tim Kaine to fetch my 7-Eleven coffee for me this morning. And I wasn't looking for him to run around lighting candles when my power first died last night.

When I heard the whine of chainsaws this morning, I didn't expect to see Kaine out there working on the debris.

But is it asking too much of the Governor of Virginia that he at least stay in the commonwealth when an epic storm comes calling?

Apparently it is.

Instead of staying home when one of the worst storms in history hit, Kaine took off for Arkansas to reportedly lunch with a bunch of political operatives. He's back now and he plans to tour Hampton Roads on Saturday.

Look, this is all about priorities. And appearances. You'll have to forgive some of us for thinking that Arkansas Democrats appeared to be more important to Kaine than Virginia's misery earlier this week.

Despite what the current officeholder - and Republican Gov. Jim Gilmore, in the final year of his term - seems to think, being governor of Virginia is not a part-time job. We give our chief executive pretty nice digs in Richmond. When there's a state emergency or disaster, he ought to stay there.

Last weekend, as he made his round of Sunday talk shows, governor-elect Bob McDonnell was asked to promise that he'd serve all of his four year term.  Incredible as it seems, there is wild speculation already about him running as VP on the 2012 GOP ticket.

McDonnell promised to serve his full term.

Well, McDonnell ought to make one more promise: That as long as he is governor it will be his one and only job.

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Email of the Day

Perhaps you saw my column this morning. If so, you know that I object strenuously to members of the media and certain hand-wringers in society instinctively painting Nidal Malik Hasan as a victim and making excuses such as:

They picked on him because he was a Muslim.

His car was keyed.

People snickered at him.

Gimme a break. The accused slaughterer of Fort Hood was an Army major. Still is, I suppose. Since when are Army officers so darned delicate?

But we're not here to rehash the column. We're here to talk about the flood of emails it created.

My favorite, so far, came from a couple in Virginia Beach:

Dear Ms. Dougherty,

Thank you for today's column, in which you point out the many absurdities in the current news coverage of the Ft. Hood murders. Your comments reflect our feelings exactly. NPR news has been especially egregious in its attempts to portray Hasan as a victim. It appears that the death of common sense known as political correctness has had particularly deadly results in the case of Hasan's "career". Years ago he would have been thrown out of the service for his obvious mental derangement, but those days are gone.

I try to answer all of my emails. So this one got a reply that went something like this:

Dear Couple in Virginia Beach:

Thank you so much for taking the time to write.

One question: Why are two obviously intelligent people continuing to listen to NPR? I turned it off years ago. Last time I tuned in - for less than a minute - I heard some nitwit discussing "Truffle oil tator tots."

And they wonder why no one listens and why NPR's ratings are so low they barely register on Arbitron. (Last time I checked, anyway.)

kerry.

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What else is there to say?

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Election Night

Call it a columnist's conundrum.

Political pundits were predicting a quick and decisive outcome in Virginia's elections Tuesday, which meant there was no time to shuttle between party headquarters in Richmond on Election Night.

Hmmmm. Did we want to be with the happy people? Or the sad ones?

Actually that was an easy decision. You see, a very long time ago, this journalist was assigned to cover the Oliver North "victory" party after his bid for the U.S. Senate. Cranky didn't begin to describe the mood in that morose room. Funereal was more like it.

So, off to the Marriott we went.

The mood there was, well, crowded. And happy.  

Even for the press. And here's a Where's Waldo moment: Can you find Fox News' Carl Cameron?

 You have to give the crowd something while they wait for the other side to concede. In Richmond, it was party chair Michael Steele.

 And Mississippi Governor Haley Barbour.

Former Congresswoman Thelma Drake was watching the returns in a corridor outside of the main room. Yes, the TV did seem to be tuned to Fox News.

And, if you're wondering why this photo is cropped in such an abrupt way, it's because I believe strongly in women's rights. The right of a woman to never have her derriere photographed and published on a blog, that is.

While we're in the corridor, it's worth showing the lavish spread that was arrayed for the hungry Republicans. Yes that is a tower of potato chips, a sign that a new austerity may already be gripping Richmond.

Finally, with the returns in and the Democrats conceding, it was time for the big event. As luck would have it, the press was relegated to the very back of the steamy room. And this 6'6" (OK, maybe he was just 5'6") joker was standing right in front of me,

Not to worry. Moments later I was wracked by the tubercular coughing that's plagued me all week. Miraculously, the disgusted crowd parted for a moment, giving me a clear shot of Governor-elect Bob McDonnell surrounded by his family and suppprters.

And yes, a real photographer would have managed to get the money shot without a silhouette of a raised fist in the frame.

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Heavy metal has heart

Not judging here, but Metallica is not a band usually associated with good deeds and generous public spirit. (True, band members may have been engaged in many acts of charity and kindness, point is, it's not part of the public's perception.)

So kudos to the band for adding $50,000 to the $100,000 in reward money already being offered by the family of missing Virginia Tech student Morgan Dana Harrington. Beyond that, the musicians are pleading for information about Harrington's whereabouts on their website, in a posting headlined, "One of Our Fans Is Missing."

In it, Metallica asks Charlottesville concertgoers to review their videos and photos to see if anyone fitting Harrington's description might be there. Good idea.

By now you've heard, the 20 year old vanished last Saturday night at a Metallica concert in Charlottesville. Her purse and cell phone were found in the parking lot of the John Paul Jones Arena. There were reports that she may have been seen walking along a nearby bridge at about 9:30 p.m.

After that, nothing.

State and local police are investigating. Visit www.findmorgan.com for updates and information on the missing student. 

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The Wrestling Wrens?

We all know the world is run by C students.

So, on behalf of everyone with a slightly embarrassing academic record, I offer this delicious nugget:

The College of William and Mary continues its desperate search for a mascot.

Yep, this elite institution, brimming over with brainiacs, can't find a suitable costumed character to lead cheers on the sidelines during football games.

C'mon, Tribe. All those smarts and still no cute or ironic mascot?

Just how brainy are W+M undergrads? Well, the Princeton Review rates William and Mary one of the most selective schools in the country. The college rating organization gave the Williamsburg university a selectivity rating of 98, just one notch below Harvard. The average high school GPA of entering freshmen, again according to PR, is 4.0.

In other words, the closest most of our underachieving offspring will come to William and Mary will be as part of a guided tour holding Williamsburg Patriot Passes.

The venerable school continues to be known as The Tribe, but it's safe to say the mascot will have absolutely no relation to anything Native American. After all, the last university president - who worshipped at the altar of political correctness - agreed to toss the little feathers that once graced William and Mary's logo. 

School officials are expected to roll out the new mascot soon. The rumored frontrunner?

A wren.

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Times are tough, but don't take it out on the marsupials

With unemployment on the rise, it's more important than ever to be on your very best behavior during job interviews.

Even informal ones.

So it should go without saying that job prospects should never, ever engage in opossum stomping while trying out for a new position.

Sadly, it happened.

In Danville.

Not only did Evan Bryce Schuler lose his chance to go to the police academy, he's now been convicted of animal cruelty.

In the interest of full disclosure, I should confess that I once swatted a possum with a broom. This outburst did not occur during a job interview, however. Furthermore, the marsupial started it. He tried to break into my house.

Last I saw, the beady-eyed beast was unharmed and headed next door. Or maybe to Danville.

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Zero tolerance vs. common sense

Here's one more reason for school adminstrators to hone their critical thinking skills instead of blindly following zero tolerance policies.

Yep, a Delaware first grader - 6 years old, by the way - was sentenced to 45 days in an "alternative" school after he brought a fork/knife/spoon camping tool to school to use at lunchtime.

The preposterous punishment has been overturned. Question is, why was it ever imposed at all?

Common sense: There's simply no substitute for it.

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The view from inside the Beltway

Do you suppose The Washington Post ever wonders why it doesn't sell more papers outside Northern Virginia?

Here's a hint: Maybe it's the sneering condescension  of its opinion writers toward the rest of the state.

In an editorial today the paper lectures Virginians about taxes. We need more of them, of course. In fact, The Post says that if we don't raise taxes to fix our roads the commonwealth - rated No. 1 for its business climate, potholes notwithstanding - will shrivel and die.

No news there. It's hardly shock and awe when an editorial board cheerleads for higher taxes.

But is it really necessary - or accurate - to characterize NoVa as the bright, shining enclave of enlightenment in what must be - by contrast - an undereducated, parochial, knuckle-dragging Southern state?

Get a load of this: To describe the group that's lobbying hardest for tax hikes, the Post says they include: "...almost everybody who is anybody in the richest, best-educated and most globally engaged part of the state."

So The Post wants to talk global engagement, does it? 

Seems to me the world's largest naval base is plenty engaged with the rest of the globe.

Keeping it safe, anyway.

Last time I checked, Hampton Roads-based sailors and pilots were deployed all over the globe.

Meaningless, I guess, if you're a Beltway beard tugger.

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