Great story in The Post today about author Dante Moore and his book about relationships:

Read his book, ladies, and you can snag a catch just like him. Your responsibilities include cooking, staying skinny, wearing sexy things around the house and doing whatever your man tells you to do (because, Moore writes, "Here's a little secret, ladies: men never really ask for anything. They command. . . . And believe me, what you won't do, ten broads around the corner will.")

Uh ... okay. Here's my hold up. Every time I read about a dude who writes a book like this I get the feeling it's all talk and the author, or perhaps more appropriately, his followers, still wake up in an empty bed every morning.

Here's something that would make Thomas Jefferson especially proud of The University: banning signs at football games. This seems like a perfectly acceptable discussion for Clay Jenkinson.

I've received a couple of comments since my post earlier this week about my addiction to weather maps this time of year. One reason I like The Weather Channel map is the sense of ambiguity it provides. Will it hit us? Maybe. Maybe not. This map eliminates some of those questions.

Ahhh! Life is good for Dana Milbank who explains it is good to be part of the elite media.

So the guy who always starts movie trailers by saying "In a world..." has died. Sad. But it seems like he had a total monopoly on the movie trailer industry. Maybe tons of people have been waiting to fill his spot. Here's the most curious line from the obituary.

Still, he noted, it's not like he could use his movie-trailer voice everywhere. "If I tried to use that voice in public," he said, "they'd be calling security."

Why would they call security?!? I'd have asked him to say something and try and record it. Maybe something like. "In a world where Mike Gruss is your ultimate ruler, the people must bring him cheese sticks and buffalo wings."

Bloggage:

Great license plate.

A few months ago I wrote about PostSecret. If your're curious about the real deal, the creator is coming to ODU.

Another reason to use Google Earth. It can help you win gold medals.

Good question about what will be more exciting tonight: Redskins football or John McCain?

I got some good advice in a taxi a couple of years ago while traveling overseas. The driver told my friend and I that women do not just want to meet and "party" with American guys. If a woman approaches you on the street out ofthe blue, she's probably a prostitute. Be aware.

Ok. Felt like good advice.

But I feel like the same could be said about Craiglist, especially after the second bust in five months. So a quick public service announcement: The women who want to meet you on Craigslist. Could be prosititutes. Could be cops. Who knows? Probably not worth the risk. Or public humiliation.

How far away are we from becoming like Gotham? Good question. I say pretty far in today's column. Marc Newman over at Regent thinks we might be a little closer.

Ahhh! Jewel was in a crash after her Virginia Beach show . Oh wait. It was Jewel's band. Not Jewel. Jewel was on the plane. And the crash was caused by the need for Diet Coke. I'm sure this will be dramatically recreated on VH1 soon.

A little bit of bloggage:

Local man hits golf ball 363 yards. The Navy digs the long ball.

Be careful: that Teddy Bear may eat your ear!

I don't even understand the Wiki on how to solve a Rubik's Cube.

It's tropical storm/hurricane time and I am addicted to this map. I refresh it about once an hour anytime a storm comes near. I don't know what I expect to change by refreshing so quickly but I just want to constantly be alert as to what my chances of being hit by a tropical storm are. I also wish this was a Google map and I could zoom in and see whether my house is in the "projected path." Of course, now it is. All of Virginia is in the path now. All of New York is in the path now. But in an hour? I'll be checking.

Also - good year for hurricane names, no? Gustav? Ike? Teddy? Omar?

Here's my column from Monday about local elected officials using e-mail. The list of who responded to my request is in the previous blog entry.

File under inefficient nicknames: Does anyone else have a problem with Sarah Palin's high school nickname "Sarah Barracuda?" Shouldn't it just be "Sarahacuda?" That would get the same point across just as effectively and would not cause such a tongue twister.

What do all of these people listed below have in common? You can find out in my Monday column. They were the ones who got back to me.

Suffolk: Linda Johnson

Portsmouth: Steve Heretick, Elizabeth Psimas, Doug Smith

Norfolk: Randy Wright, Daun Hester

Chesapeake: Cliff Hayes, John DeTriquet, Debbie Ritter, Rick West, Bryan Collins, Alan Krasnoff

Virginia Beach: Jim Wood, Barbara Henley, Ron Villanueva, Rosemary Wilson, John Uhrin, Reba McClanan

1) PETA's come out with its Top 10 vegetarian-friendly minor league ballparks. Fair enough. I'm game. I love ballpark food. I'd probably even buy a coffeetable book on it. But I was surprised to see Harbor Park only made honorable mention. (And never one for Red Sox Nation, I thought Pawtucket's offering seemed a bit slim. Fruit smoothies? If we're gonna stretch that far, why not mention Harbor Park's lemonade then?) I thought with PETA's local influence on restaurants, maybe they'd have a little more success at the ballpark. Maybe not. Although, I wouldn't mind seeing roasted sweet corn on the menu next season.

2) PETA wants to buy Sea World? I know it will never happen but I like the idea. Especially if they moved it to Virginia Beach. Tell me that wouldn't be an Oceanfront attraction. I don't care if it's an interactive exhibit and not real animals, half of the fun of Sea World is stuff like water skiing and pirate shows and getting splashed by water guns.

Finally - a word to everyone who drives - yes, you can be pulled over for failing to use a turn signal. And this just a day after I listened to a report where 90 percent of people said they were better than average drivers. (But I am better than average. I believe it whole-heartedly and with conviction.)

Wah wah. Here's a story that makes you glad you don't live in New York City. The people in the article mistake being (clueless) in their 20s with having a hard time making their way through the oh-so-complicated city life. Couple that with a story about urban dreams in Buffalo and you'll understand why Zach Klein writes:"How much longer will people hold out in expensive megametropolises when affordable and fulfilling lifestyles exist elsewhere?"

And with flat assessments, they're getting cheaper in the Beach every day. And, puh-leez. We even have an Olive Garden here.

Can you tell I'm a little salty today?

People are outraged - OUTRAGED! - over the fact that the government prosecuted our local grammarian Benjamin Herson. Today's outrage comes from Jonathan Lieberman, CEO of TypoBuddy.com.

“While we do not condone their vandalism, we at TypoBuddy.com are outraged at the excessive nature of the penalties levied against these two gentleman who were justly trying to highlight a national embarrassment. How can we, as a first world, educated nation, hold our head high when public signage in our country’s most revered and well-travelled sites are riddled with typos reminiscent of a grade school child.”

Today's column is about the Chesapeake School Board's irrational fear over Disney World rides.

I saw this one today. Best signature line in an email for someone who's self-employed:  "As a matter of fact, I  do  speak for my employer."

The week before Labor Day is a mildly depressing time of year. Yes it's still summer, but no, I never feel like took advantage of the summer enough. Even though there are still a few weeks left, Labor Day is when the wallowing begins.

I had a lot of fun last week visiting Bean There Cafe in Chesapeake. There are already restaurants that scream things like "Welcome to Moe's" when you walk in the door. I wonder how far we are from everyone getting a hug. I also wonder what Norm from "Cheers" would think about it. The owner, Amy Perez, likes this book, Hug Your Customer.(One side note: had a caller today say he believed the fist bump started in a Detroit bathroom where people wanted to greet each other but not do anything as intimate as shake hands before the other washed their hands.)

My thoughts on the kicker at the end of emails that asks you to consider the earth before printing.

I laughed at this agenda of what to do in Denver.

I didn't watch a lot of the Olympics. These words are a big reason why. New storylines please. That's why I think Phelps and Bolt were so loved.

Mickey Mouse - in the public domain?

You may remember Virginia Beach's Benjamin Herson from a column in early April. Herson and his buddies were driving around correcting publicly visible typos. He was a lot of fun to talk to and we had fun here with the column, inserting errors into the copy.

Now this:

Two self-anointed "grammar vigilantes" who toured the nation removing typos from public signs have been banned from national parks after vandalizing a historic marker at the Grand Canyon.

Yikes. The "corrected" sign was handpainted nearly 70 years ago and was described in court documents as "a unique historical object of irreplacable value." Or was it proof perhaps that grammar has not disintegrated over the past 70 years?

Speaking of roadtrips, here's a few ideas of some famous paths you may wish to recreate.

Also, Tiger Woods walks on water. In video games, and apparently, in real life.

Wednesday I wrote about people who are using Chock full o' Nuts cans as urns, ala the movie The Bucket List. As part of the reporting for the column I visited the factory in Suffolk.

Some of things I learned:

- Chock full o' Nuts is popular in the NY area. Hills Bros., also produced in Suffolk, is more popular in Chicago.

- Chock full o' Nuts is regularly seen in the television kitchen on Two and a Half Men.

- For product placement scenes in movies, everything in the aisle is often made by the same company.

- Chock full o' Nuts started as a nut shop, not a coffee shop, but added coffee during after The Depression as a way to make money.

For a while I've wanted to buy an instrument. Specifically, a ukelele or a trombone. I think it would be fun. Plus, they're fairly affordable. I'm not sure I would be any good at it. But I'd like to give it a try. Then I saw this flowchart. You can substitute a lot of different items for pan flute.

Somehow I got on the condoms companies' mailing list. This press release reads exactly like a Smoove B column: nice, nice, nice, inappropriate. Whoa! Where did that come from?!? One of these things is not like the others.

Here's what I mean:

For the romantically UN-inclined, LifeStyles(R) Condoms offers up some tips to keep things hot both in the bedroom and out: 1. Start the day special – While your significant other is in the shower in the morning, take a towel and warm it up in the dryer. It’s a simple way to show how much you care. 2. Short and Sweet – Leave love notes in surprising places like in a coffee mug or on the steering wheel. Don’t be afraid to make them steamy – letting her know how much she turns you on will have her yearning for the night all day long. 3. Small gift Mondays – No one likes Mondays. Give your lover something to look forward to by surprising each other with small gifts on the first day of the week, be it her favorite flowers, meeting him at the driving range with a bucket of balls, or picking up a Pleasure Pack from LifeStyles Condoms and making Monday the best night of the week. 4. Make her pleasure your priority – Not every man is as skilled in bed as his lover may lead him to believe. Heat things up for her with Excite^TM Sensual Gel, shown to improve the ability to reach climax in 94% of women!

Cough. Cough. Cough. What?!?